[i]Y’remember the first time?[/i] Ryan stared back, caught off guard, and realized Brendon's attention had dropped to his mouth, lip comfortably between his teeth. He was gorgeous, and Ryan admired for a moment before trying to stop Brendon's train of thought in its tracks. He should definitely not be thinking like that when he was this wasted. [b]"Yeah, yes, but let's not dwell on that [i]right[/i] now,"[/b] Ryan said hastily, somewhat hypocritically considering his mind was already going a mile a minute just at the reminder. He sucked in a breath to cool it, but he'd already accidentally pressed Brendon on, watching his hands trail down the delicate line of bone, then to the slightly mussed collar of his shirt, cautious. [i]Nah, I’d say you’re a good one. Brendon star of approval. I’ve slept with a lot of people, and not a lot of them get such an honour.[/i] Ryan's jaw practically dropped when he moved away. Who the hell tells their boyfriend 'I've slept with a lot of people' outright like that? God, only Brendon. Not that he hadn't already known anyway.

He could only watch Brendon bumble about uselessly for a minute or so before actually coming to his rescue, charmed by how wonderfully ridiculous he was. Even if he were sober, this would be pretty typical behavior. Ryan had to come close, had to wrap himself around him again, had to support his weight like his life depended on it. The irresistibility Brendon demonstrated to him was much different from the kind that magazines and press and taglines all claimed of him. Sure he was beautiful to the outside world, it was easy to see, but no one saw this side, completely goofy and charming beyond belief and endlessly entertaining, not to the same extent that Ryan got to see. [i]You break my bank. Worth it, though. You’re sexy.[/i] Ryan stopped to look at him like he was crazy because no one called him that, ever, but Brendon was already leaning in, as if it was nothing. Easily, Ryan caught him, basking in the warmth that was them cuddling this close again, even upright. 

Ryan thought maybe he'd just fall asleep before the conversation continued, but Brendon was admitting to loving him seconds later, and. That would be a lot to take from anyone. Obviously it was always flattering. But Ryan was his first real, real relationship, the first person he'd probably said it to in such a way, and. The pressure was on, sure, but that part of it was in the back of his mind for now. Just the fact that Brendon probably had spent time trying to put a word to his feelings, realizing that 'love' was the answer for them... and, more than that, he likely meant it. It held so much more coming from Brendon than from anyone else. Brendon didn't give this part of himself to anyone, even after years of the spotlight taking away so much that was supposed to be dear and private to a normal person. Ryan stared at him, stunned, and this was one of those times he was rendered speechless. Being told 'I love you' hadn't been something so important before - and he'd never felt so right and genuine in wanting to say it back.

Brendon, predictably, saw no big deal, even seemed confused by Ryan's state of shock. [i]I love you.[/i] Ryan had no idea how to convey the mass array of emotions running through him, just kissed Brendon's head and returned the sentiment, wishing there were more powerful words for this. Well, there were, but Ryan would have to write it all down for him. He made a note to self to do just that before Brendon's showstopping smile was on his face and Ryan had, quite literally, never felt weaker, sinking against Brendon's hold when he held his face gently to kiss him. He closed his eyes, relaxing fully against him when he felt the faintest bite on his lip, followed by a garden more kisses planted along his jawline, ever so typical of Brendon. [i]If I am, just tell me again.[/i] 

Ryan's breath came out in a rush, his smile playing on his lips, and he kept his eyes blissfully closed. Brendon wasn't sober yet, but still he was grateful to finally say these words aloud, so- [b]"I love you,"[/b] he murmured, close to his ear, hand wrapped carefully around the other side of his head. [b]"I love you so much. And I missed that smile. You forgive me now?"[/b] He was laughing slightly beneath his words, amused to think that just minutes ago they were bickering about Ryan being at the wrong apartment, of all things.