Squad-6 Member: "Smoog"

Smoog was conscripted into the Imperial Yllendyr Army on his second birthday after his best friend Gligmigpug dared him to climb a man-hole service entrance to see what was on the other side. The two ended up in the middle of a busy road in an Yllendyr city, which naturally caused scene. The two gremlins proceeded to invade a nearby cafe, defecated on multiple tables, and were involved in a competition to see which one of them could drink the most coffee through their noses until they were finally wrangled by the local police, and turned over to the local branch of the army.

The two were eventually separated, and over the course of many weeks, Smoog learned to fight... kindof. His superiors soon discovered his occasional loss of object permanence, and therefore resorted to tying his rifle to his arm in order to keep him from losing it. His other gear was similarly affixed to him, not that he really cared, as he was quite content to serve his new masters to the best of his ability. Naturally, his best wasn't very good, but he eventually qualified for the reserves through sheer luck and commitment. 

Smoog learned several things over the course of his training. Firstly, the other soldiers kept using this word, "midget", to refer to him. As much as he tried to explain that his name was pronounced "Smoog", they didn't seem to get it. It wasn't until one of his comrades explained to him that the word meant "best fighter that ever existed", that he truly understood how much his hard work had paid off. From then on, his loyalty to the Imperium surpassed even that of a few of his commanding officers. He was told that, due to his patriotic zeal, he was handpicked to join the 27th auxiliary legion in their occupation of the Kitagawa Shogunate in order to help instill the local population with the appropriate level of admiration for the Imperium. That was the greatest day of Smoog's life.