[i]Yeah, but let’s not dwell on that [/i]right [i]now.[/i] Brendon strongly opposed that suggestion, and made sure Ryan knew this by being extremely tactile in an alcohol-fuelled reconnection with his kinaesthetic senses. It probably wasn’t anything that Ryan want already use to; Brendon was usually a ‘handsy’ (for lack of a better word) and flirtatious drunk, this had just been blocked so far by Brendon’s frustration with Ryan and constant dramatic whining as he complained about being abandoned, Ryan trying to change him, Ryan being an utter tightass who just wanted to ruin his fun. Now, though, since he’d calmed down a bit and was no longer running entirely on pettiness, the true intoxicated Brendon was unveiled, complete with shamelessness and a complete lack of a brain-to-mouth filter. [b]”I disagree,”[/b] He muttered, hands indecisively fumbling with his boyfriend’s shirt buttons, too uncoordinated to actually get anywhere- but it was the thought that counted. [b]”I’ve been thinking about you all day. Jesus, you do things to me.”[/b] Brendon locked eyes with him briefly but his vision was slightly blurred around the edges and he had to blink rapidly to try and keep it at bay. Frustrated, he all but whined, inhaling and exhaling with a heavy, disappointed sigh- it seemed tonight certain wants and/or needs wouldn’t be fulfilled. 

It was his own fault, but Brendon wasn’t sober enough to accept responsibility, so he poured as if a toddler and turned on his heel, forgetting completely about the unsolicited information he had given Ryan Shit his sex life prior to them dating. Ryan probably knew all that stuff anyway from being his personal and long-suffering assistant, so he didn’t think it would shock him, believed that he was simply reiterating a well-known fact. That Brendon was- had been- something of a thot. In the words of many, including Brendon himself. However, as much as a Casanova as he believed himself to be, Brendon was close to blackout drunk, completely wasted, and he could barely keep himself upright by the time Ryan had come to his rescue by moving over to him and wrapping his arms around his body to support his weight and make up for his lack of balance and coordination. Luckily for Ryan, this time Brendon was more compliant, burying his head into the fabric of the shirt he’d half-heartedly tried to remove and inhaling his familiar scent- it was comforting and appealing and Brendon wondered whether the next level for them was Ryan allowing Brendon to just rob him of his entire wardrobe. Even if he wasn’t allowed, he’d probably do it anyway. 

Brendon really was on the verge of passing out there and then, drifting off in Ryan’s embrace (sometimes he pretend to be asleep just to be carried to bed, so it wasn’t exactly unusual for Brendon to promptly ‘fall asleep’ in Ryan’s arms), but he had one last thing burning on his mind that he wanted to get out fast, considering he was at serious risk of losing consciousness in a very short time- It was a confession, one he’d had whirling around in his head for a while, and Brendon decided that now, when he was wasted and half-asleep, was the best time to tell Ryan that he was in love with him, after a ridiculous argument and an admittedly very messy night. He meant it, though. He meant it- and he couldn’t understand why Ryan looked so shocked, blinking up at him hazily and repeating it like it made more sense to him than anything else in the world, like it was so [i]easy,[/i] when really it had taken him a long time to come to terms with it, to understand his own feelings and identify them as love, not lust nor infatuation. Brendon Bellamy had fallen in love- somehow, he couldn’t imagine it as a tabloid headline, but it sure was what he wanted everyone to know. The infamous wildcard of the powerful Bellamy family had found himself a constant besides parties and hedonism.

Brendon leaned up, albeit shakily, and kissed Ryan, a gentle, sweet kiss full of surety and contentment. He pulled back after a few moments and trailed gentler kisses down his jaw, indulging. When he withdrew to look up at him adoringly, Brendon was smiling too as Ryan exhaled, returning to him a happy, extremely tired, crooked grin. Unable to stay anything but fully pressed against him for very long, Brendon tightened his grip on Ryan, hands naturally finding his much more sober other half’s waist as he drew himself closer, close enough so that in the dark, quiet room, Brendon could hear Ryan’s heartbeat and his own leapt. [i]I love you.[/i] He closed his eyes serenely and turned his head, pressing his nose against Ryan’s cheek before he slumped a little and his forehead rested with considerable difficulty against his shoulder, just inwards to the join of his neck and collarbone. [b]”I love you too.”[/b] Brendon had apparently forgotten that he was the first one of them to say that. [i]I love you so much.[/i] I know, baby, I know, Brendon thought- and he did; never before had he felt so comfortable with somebody, so in tune. The concept of soulmates had been one that Brendon always scoffed at, but now...

[i]And I missed that smile.[/i] It returned to his face, and Brendon was laughing, dissolving into giggles and he wasn’t entirely sure why. [i]You forgive me now?[/i] Still giggling, Brendon only cut himself off when he caught Ryan suddenly in a much more involved kiss, with enough force so the two of them staggered a little due to Brendon’s almost-reckless abandon, tilting his head and sliding his hands into Ryan’s hair as he tried to coax his mouth open. Unfortunately for him, he again wasn’t really in the right state to be pulling stunts like that, so he quickly burnt out, and it dissolved into more lazy, less ambitious kisses, slowed all the way down to a stop when Brendon really was now mostly asleep and slumped against Ryan with his chin hooked around Ryan’s shoulder and his arms again securely wrapped around his torso. [b]”Mm,”[/b] Came his reply, finally, and he blinked furiously, straining his eyes to try and peer through the darkness. [b]”Baby, I’m tired,”[/b] He complained. [b]”Will you carry me?”[/b]