Brendon knew deep down just how much of an asset he really was to the band and how much more popular it had become since he joined and wrestled the coveted role of frontman from Ryan’s cold, dead hands- but for some reason, as much as he was confident especially of his vocal talents, Ryan’s constant criticisms wore him down and seeped through the cracks of his outwardly self-assured exterior. He wasn’t sure what it was- when he’d joined, fresh-faced, just new blood for the music industry, he didn’t have much mettle to begin with, just pure unharnessed youthful energy and enthusiasm. Ryan’s constant and merciless mocking and insults dressed up as constructive criticism had forced him to build up a self-defensive wall, and all but completely destroyed any confidence he had in writing- he’d never considered himself an incredible lyricist and he doubted he ever would be but, god, had he [i]tried,[/i] and Ryan had just kicked down the foundations and watched him crumble because he was passed that somebody was a better singer than he was, more charismatic, more frontman-friendly altogether.

After a while it became easy to ignore because Ryan’s harsh words and their borderline violent fights became oversaturated and it always ended up the same, they’d [i]almost[/i] come to physical blows and then they’d both back off, coaxed by whatever third party tried to intervene before things got too serious. Brendon really consider just punching the fucking smirk off his face sometimes but then it’d ruin the Van for good and Spencer and Jon didn’t deserve that. They didn’t sign up for such pointless drama when they enlisted Brendon’s help in the band- all they wanted was somebody more suited to the songs and more up to the challenge of fronting a very theatrical live band, and instead their lives were made more difficult as they had to both manage the band and look after two perpetually fighting toddlers only they wanted to kill eachother. It was a routine, soon- even comfortable because it was familiar- but even though Ryan was running out of material and some insults lacked bite nowadays due to repetition, he still knew just what buttons to press and Brendon hated it.

So he tried to give back as good as he got. [i]Ouch.[/i] Brendon watched him cross his arms, bitterly recalling how just before they’d been wrapped around Keltie’s waist, wound around her, he was doing it on purpose, showing her off just to get a rise out of Brendon, he knew it. At first he told himself he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of a reaction but when he saw them walk into the bus all that sensibility went immediately out of the window. Because of his anger and frustration, he couldn’t quite come up with particularly affecting insults and Ryan’s reaction to that infuriated him even further. He [i]would[/i] be hurting in a minute, if Brendon decided to swing for his fucking jaw. Ryan might’ve been considerably taller but Brendon had more muscle and figured he was stronger. It’d be like snapping a toothpick. These thoughts calmed him a little but he stayed silent, going back to his original plan of not satisfying Ryan with some kind of grand spectacle of rage. He just rose and strolled over, his knuckles clenched and white, and brushed intentionally past Ryan as he walked towards the exit of the bus. He then turned and made a remark about dating- to which Ryan reacted not as he had expected but how he had hoped.

He was admittedly alarmed when Ryan’s hand shot out and tightened in a vice grip around his arm, and his eyes widened as he staggered backwards out of the bus, held in balance by Ryan and clearly for his benefit, not for the benefit of Brendon not falling. So much for him being stronger, he thought bitterly. [i]Oh, yeah? What are your options? You gonna pay someone?[/i] Brendon yanked his arm away defiantly as Ryan let go and crossed his arms over his chest. He really did want to wipe that smartass fucking smile off his face. [b]”Oh, please. I could get them to pay me if I wanted to. You’re so sexually confused that you’d be first on my damn doorstep,”[/b] He spat, rubbing the arm that Ryan had held onto. [i]It’s not like anyone would stick around for[/i] free, [i]obviously.[/i] Brendon sneered, already knowing where this was going. [i]There’s not much to redeem all of[/i] this. Brendon raised his eyebrows as Ryan looked him fully up and down. It was almost laughable how he dug his own damn grave. [b]”That’s right, motherfucker, take a good look. It’s all you’re ever gonna get. Die mad about it.”[/b]

[i]Oh, and, you know, the emotional baggage of you being obsessed with your guitarist even though he's got a girlfriend. Not sure anyone would want to be with that. [/i]He scoffed, wringing his hands together all the same. He just wanted to be left alone. [b]”Don’t flatter yourself. And anyway- are you sure it’s [i]a[/i] girlfriend? How many have you had before that poor girl you’re whisking along now with your sad damaged English dropout act? I heard you’ve got some on the side. How about that? That true?”[/b] He cast a venomous glare back towards the bus. [b]”Maybe Keltie would like to know about Jac, and Helena, and...”[/b]