It had been such a long time now that they had changed their relationship that Ryan was no longer scared of every far-out, unimaginable idea that came to mind when he thought about Brendon. It wasn't scary to think of him as a boyfriend (well- it [i]was[/i] scary to think about the asking part, and maybe the publicity part, but everything else was quite alright with him), and it wasn't scary to think about them completely letting go of all the bitterness and the cruelty from before. Actually, Ryan already sort of had, but it was easier for him - he'd started it. Come to think of it, Ryan was the initiator for most things between them. He'd been the first to completely shun Brendon and refuse to let him in to the band dynamic (though Brendon, thankfully, wormed his way in anyway thanks to Jon and Spencer). He'd been the one to come to Seattle, and he leaned in for that first, weird as hell kiss, and he followed Brendon when he appeared go have full intention of forgetting it all just to change his mind. And then, on this tour, without even really meaning to, he'd ended up in Brendon's dressing room, pretty much instantly coming onto him. Over time he'd been putting himself more and more out into the open, making himself vulnerable; it was just up to Brendon to answer all of his advances.

When he hadn't been lately, it was concerning. He was the only person Ryan had ever had such a turbulent but so deeply seated connection with - God knows why, because they really did come from two different worlds. Brendon, from a huge religious family from [i]Utah,[/i] and Ryan never even knew his mother while he grew up in Vegas. Brendon was this lively, talented, pretty much world-reknowned musician, love and adoration followed him from every corner of the Earth, people waited hours just to maybe potentially meet him. Ryan was only similar to him, maybe, by their same ample passion, but otherwise, he had no idea what about them could bring them together. Personality-wase they shared the same humor, were both evidently fairly hot-headed (though Ryan personally only discovered that about himself when he met Brendon). He was sure, before, that this was just infatuation, all the perfections in Brendon meant he didn't [i]love[/i] him, surely he was just momentarily obsessed. But Ryan never tried this hard, gave this much for something he wasn't actually dedicated to. 

He was already worried about getting no response, nothing from Brendon along the way here, but when he stepped off of his band's tour bus and looked fairly apprehensive, Ryan figured it was his fault. He did want to confront him about everything, and there was maybe even the slim chance that Brendon didn't mean to be confusing, but. When he looked like he actually didn't want to even speak to Ryan, forget all the other intimate details, Ryan was tempted to give in. He liked him - either too much or not enough to make an ass of himself just to keep him around. Brendon was, dumbly in just a huge tee and some old jeans, but he never dressed for the weather anyway. He looked sleepless even though he had all the telltale signs of being crammed against cushions, his hair a mess, stubble dusting his jaw. And he looked like a goddamn angel. Ryan swore he forgot about the cold, a tiny smile on his face like he'd forgotten all about his bitterness, and when he caught Brendon's envious look he was tempted to just give up the hoodie automatically. 'Everything, anything, make me yours' - Brendon had said it first, but it still rung true for Ryan.

[i]Hey, man, what’s up?[/i] Despite the warm-glowy-stupid feeling still all throughout, Ryan could've rolled his eyes. What did he [i]think[/i]? The lack of immediate response was telltale, too; maybe he should just. Pull back. If Brendon wanted them to be over, he'd have to say it rather than leave Ryan with straws to grasp at. He was kidding himself - Ryan could entertain himself with the idea of that as much as he wanted, but as soon as Brendon grinned at him, Ryan forgot all about it. [i]I, uh- do you know what you just asked me?[/i] He honestly had no idea. [b]"If you wanted to watch a movie?"[/b] Ryan lifted his shoulders, naïve, and he was definitely missing something here. He didn't draw out the accusation on Brendon bailing, just went on, and when Brendon went to press back against the bus, Ryan followed close by, his eyes falling to his mouth automatically. Well. That wasn't exactly what he was going for, but apparently the dumb part of his mind was making decisions for him again. 

[i]Bail? Bail from what?[/i] Ryan pursed his lips, wishing that that didn't [i]hurt[/i] for God knows what reason. It's not like they were nothing. He was so fucking... sensitive, it was annoying, and completely new to him. Ryan averted his gaze, studying the side of the bus as if it was suddenly the most interesting sight in the world. [i]As much as I want to Netflix and chill with you, baby- I gotta raincheck.[/i] His hands tightened round one another in his hoodie's pockets, Ryan closed his eyes briefly, swayed a little like he was going to give up and walk away. Whatever. Brendon was worth the fight, but Ryan didn't anticipate that fight making him feel like shit. He had no idea why - he wasn't a [i]victim,[/i] Brendon wasn't actively doing anything, just. Apparently Ryan had gotten a little soft. [i]You're looking a bit wound up. You feeling alright?[/i] [b]"Whatever, man,"[/b] Ryan murmured, still determinedly not looking at him, his shoulders shrugging again like he couldn't care less. [b]"I'm fine. Just thinking it'd be nice of you to say that you don't want this rather than stringing me along."[/b] 

In the past when Ryan was upset with him, it'd always translated into some kind of sexual energy, one of them would be on the other and they'd be solving problems by deliberately not talking about it. Now, he just stepped back, the magnetism dissolved, scrubbing a hand over his forehead and searching the ground. He nearly turned to walk it off but faced Brendon finally, avoiding eye contact and instead sort of hanging his gaze on his shoulder, as close as he could get. [b]"Brendon, what did I [i]do[/i]? Out of curiosity."[/b] A scary answer would be that he didn't do anything wrong, it just wasn't neutral anymore. He wasn't going to- beg Brendon to like him, whatever, he just wanted to know the disconnect.