At no point did Isaac think of the war in terms of casualties.  He found himself thinking in terms of those who survived.

It isn't that he did not feel bad for the ones who died, that he was cutting off his supply of sympathy.  It was just that he had to focus on those who were alive for all their sakes.  The dead were dead, and they'd done what they could in life to ensure more time for all those who lived.  That was how things were, and that was how Isaac chose to see it.  This was all in the light of how poor Jean was being so affected by war.  He was all heart, really.  All heart and not much anger.  Because if he truly [i]was[/i] angry, he wouldn't be in so much despair.  It's not as though you could use that feeling ON someone.  You could be pissed off at Middleton for...oh, I don't know, pick a subject...and he'd still be in charge.  You could be irritated with the Federation military for dragging you into this, like Isaac.  It didn't mean that you could, or that he did, plan to get back at them.  Maybe that one recruiter...  Most people would, naturally, blame the Imperials.  They [i]did[/i] start this war, and like Isaac, nobody really knew what it was all for.

Nobody [i]really[/i] knew, and the war would grind human life to dust for it.  What a waste.

What you REALLY had to wonder was whether Middleton knew any better, himself.  The first time he woke him, Isaac was - thanks to his training - appropriately startled into nearly drawing his trench knife.  When he noticed that it was the Lieutenant, he put it back, not sure if he was relieved or disappointed.  Any looks from the man about that would just be met with the word 'Training' by way of explanation, which - given the fact that he almost expected to be attacked by an Imperial soldier - would satisfy him.  On the flipside of that, however, what Middleton wanted the first time - yes, only the [i]first[/i] time - was to make sure he was doing his job.  In a way, it was actually understandable, since Middleton hadn't really seen him that much.  However, that he kept coming [i]back[/i] and waking him [i]again[/i] for some reason was annoying.

Probably shouldn't have led with [color=f7941d]"I'm currently in charge to give Jean a break.  I ordered him to bed."[/color].  Oh well...

It's not like Isaac had much interrupted sleep on his own, at that point.  He'd managed to fall asleep while next to Lucia before, but that was fatigue.  Let's be clear about something here.  Those guns and bullets [i]weighed[/i], and Isaac had charged with the rest, at least as far as the church was concerned.  He could keep up with others at the cost of his stamina or he could take longer to get around, and Isaac preferred to get around.  The issue was that this was the first real combat test, so all of his training hadn't hit the trial run before then.  He would be better at managing it now, having been in the heat of battle.  It was still the first time someone had really tried to kill him, and he had been [i]very[/i] close to getting shot.  Only that slip in the mud had saved him, really.

These were the thoughts that bothered him in the night, whereas during the next day...

Well, the next day renewed Isaac's concerns about Jean, since he still looked like death.  He might have to be his relief [i]alot[/i], since he might've looked worse now than he did before.  Sergeant Baker called them to attension next and...let's be honest, Isaac wasn't sure he liked this man, either.  Somehow, he didn't seem like 'one of them'.  Middleton arrived next, looking very pleased with himself.  If patterns followed, that meant that they would not enjoy this.  And you know what?  He was right.  Middleton was a captain now, and he was empowered to promote others, which he did.  Jean got a promotion, which he probably deserved, but...would he handle the pressure that came with moving on up?  Isaac was starting to wonder if moving up in rank actually helped anything.  A Sergeant died yesterday.  It wasn't a special Sergeant bullet that killed him.  Isaac had killed a number of people, already.  He sincerely doubted that their ranks mattered.

The thing is, Isaac thought of alot of things in terms of what he was good at, which was raising and understanding animals, particularly wolves.  Wolves have a heirarchy in which there is a definite leader and those below him.  However, and this was important, it was all just social.  It has nothing to do with who had who had the best skill in biting and clawing [i]while killing another animal[/i].  It mmight determine who was on top if there was a fight over that, and it might determine how much of the kill you got, but in a fight, it's not like a bear is going to care who is Alpha or Omega, and it's not like being Omega means you're unable to fight.  Pack Omegas have risen to the top before.  His father had seen it.  The point is that Isaac wasn't sure that all of this really mattered in war.

When Middleton decided to 'address' the elephant in the room, Isaac was thinking [color=f7941d][i]'You ARE the elephant in the room.'[/i][/color] with a small smile.  Never lose your sense of humor.  It will serve you well.  However, it felt a bit sour as Middleton announced that they would be apparently assaulting Amone very soon and that he was [i]not[/i] proud of their work yesterday, though others were.  What an ass.  Isaac was making it his special duty to be sure and make the new people understand that Middleton was nothing but a pain.  [i]That[/i] was the important lesson to take from him.  He was a cold-hearted ass who-  He was [i]already[/i] pulling Lucia into some other task.  Just what was his deal with her?  Well, Isaac had no time to actually focus on that.  As Middleton left and people started talking again, he heard Jean talking.  Hearing him, his eyes widened.  Good god, his family just...  What [i]was it[/i] that made people so against the Darcsens, huh?  He didn't get it.  He just didn't understand what all the fuss was about!  It wasn't important, whatever it was!  Everything on this guy, and now this...  Isaac approached now.

[color=f7941d]"Jean, I'm sorry.  I can't really imagine how you feel right now, though I guess I'd feel pretty broken inside if my family were gone, as well.  I know it doesn't mean much, but you can rely on us.  Use your newfound power to delegate some responsibility.  We can take some of the pressure off, if you need it."[/color]

Then, Kalisa told them how [i]her[/i] family had died and...god damn, but it was easy to forget that she was a Darcsen, as well.  Maybe it was because of her appearance in contrast to Jean's.  She didn't look like one, exactly.  Kalisa apologized for sharing and Isaac shook his head.

[color=f7941d]"No no, it's completely alright, talking about it.  Sometimes, you just have to get it out.  I'll never understand why 'race' is an issue around here."[/color]

And they would only have so much time to do that on the train to Amone.  They would all need their rest, and they had to get new people, and somehow psyche themselves into being able to step back into battle again.  The battle would be in a city this time, and alot different from a hill-climb, [i]that[/i] was for sure.  The only real question [i]now[/i] was...would they all come out of it alive?  No, actually, there was something else: How was he gonna get this letter delivered?  They weren't able to get any moved out at all.  Maybe at one of the stops...  Wait, what?  He'd left the cabin and started walking back down the hall - informing the others before he went that he was gonna see about getting some food, maybe something to take with them in case nothing was waiting for them - when he stopped and he heard someone talking.  It was Michael.  He said 'I hope she can retain herself'.  Isaac stepped into the doorway of the cabin.

[color=f7941d]"Lucia, I take it?"[/color]