[quote=@Mag Lev]
[@The1Rolling1Boy] As this sheet is I can't accept it. Normally I'm also not one to allow a sheet to be posted directly to the Character's section either until it is accepted. I've left my notes on why the sheet is denied below and allow you a chance at revisions. If it doesn't meet my requirements after, the sheet will be hidden from the tab.

Age: 20 is 20. There is no ish or question as to how old a person is in this world. In general, all races enter puberty around the average age humans do and finish around a similar time. The only true difference, when it comes to age, is how quickly they grow old and the signs of ageing. Their ‘Prime Age’ is longer and often comes down more slowly so that the races which live longer have a scale up to match human averages. 

Origin: Ioria is, in of itself, not a country. Ioria is made up of seven countries of which I have only mentioned three thus far. Eroammir, the Imperium, and Keirous are these three. There are smaller city-states scattered throughout but these do not count towards ‘countries’. That aside, he would’ve had to originate and mostly live in one country as few places so willingly accept outsiders.
Personality: The only line here of issue is one mentioning immortality. Can let that slide however it should be clarified that no race is immortal.

History: This is where I’ve got the highest marks against the sheet. For one, it doesn’t meet the solid two paragraph requirement I have for it. Two, in Eroammir an Elf wandering around towns with no clear reason to be there would often result in many issues from the locals. Most locals in Eroammir consider Elves to be a national enemy and will often refuse them at any gates if they aren’t heavily armed. Three, it doesn’t mention where or how he learned cryomancy or even electromancy. Most towns don’t have access to knowledge on magic and, unless they’ve been to an academy, it is rare for a mage to learn anything but basic understandings of how magic works. Even in the Imperium, only those with money could afford a tutor to teach them magic and electromancy is rarely allowed to be taught. Four, the ending of his history makes it sound like he was still in Ioria which raises the questions of; when did he join the Order, why did they Order take him in, etc.?

Skills: There’s nothing here of combat-related skills, at all. Considering there was no mention of the Order, he’d have to learn some kind of combat-related skills due to the nature of needing it for self-protection.

Magic: This is my biggest gripe. Magic is not a primary weapon in the world if that is how you intended. Magic is, in fact, meant to be supplementary which is why the Order teaches it fighters how to use a sword and bow anyway. No mage would survive long if they relied entirely on their magic to fight. Once his reserves were up, even a few low-level spells in cryomancy would push him towards passing out. There’s also no mention in his history, as I said, of how he learned his magical skills. Electromancy teachers are incredibly rare and it is rare anywhere outside of the Imperium to find anybody who can teach magic. 

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Got it. this was honestly thrown together and I'll work on it more. I'm sorry for the number of misunderstandings on my part. though I would like to say a few things if that is okay.
1. The mention of immortality was used as a joke in the sense to further so how cocky he really is
2. I did not intend for it to come off as him being a combat main. I used the mention of magic as more of a therapeutic kind of thing. I did mention that he would have learned it from his parents I think. Though don't quote me because of how bad my memory tends to be
with this being said I will go back and go over. Hopefully, this time ill have bettered the character and have a better understanding of what I'm getting myself into. Personally I'm still new two writing and if possible id love for more feedback and help on a writing standing point and not a roleplay and character stand point.