ANGRY, HEAVILY BEARDED MAN IS SEATED AT THE BAR. BROWS ARE FURLED, EYES RED FOR NO APPARENT REASON. EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS PERFECTLY CALM WHILE THIS ONE MAN IS ABOUT READY TO EXPLODE. BOTTLE OF [NONSPECIFIC BRAND ALCOHOL] IS BEING HELD VERY TIGHTLY IN HIS RIGHT HAND. AUDIBLE GRUNTS ESCAPE THROUGH HIS TEETH.

ANIMATE SKELETON WEARING ORNATE JEWELRY AND CRIMSON ROBE STRUTS BY HIM AND TURNS TO THE BARTENDER, A BALD DUDE IN A NICE BLUE VEST. "EHHHHHH." SKELETON SAYS IN A RIDICULOUSLY COCKNEY ACCENT, SOMEHOW WITHOUT THE NEED OF VOCAL CHORDS AND OTHER ORGANIC SYSTEMS NECESSARY IN THE ACT OF SPEAKING, "WOULD YEH FACILITATE ME WITH A DEPLORABLE BEVERAGE, KIND SEH?"

"SURE." BALD-TENDER REPLIES, HANDING SKELETON A BEER. SKELETON NODS AND WRAPS HIS FREE HAND AROUND THE ANGRY BEARDED MAN, SAYING ALOUD, "QUALITY LIQUEH BE OCCUPATIN' AH GUZZAHDS TONOIGHT, EH RICHARD?"

NO.

NO MORE OF THIS.

BEARDED MAN'S GRIP TIGHTENS. BOTTLE SHATTERS, GLASS SHARDS PIERCE SKIN OF HIS HAND. HE LETS OUT A BLOOD-CURDLING YELL, PICKS UP HIS STOOL, AND SLAMS IT UPSIDE THE SKELETON'S HEAD, WHO FALLS TO THE FLOOR, RELATIVELY UNHARMED AND INTACT. BEARDED MAN CLIMBS UP ON TOP OF THE BAR, RIPS OFF HIS FLANNEL SHIRT, AND SCREAMS.

[h1]"BAAAAAAAAAAR FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"[/h1]

MOMENTARY SILENCE.

EVERYONE TURNS TO THE NEAREST LIVING THING AND SCREAMS IN THEIR FACE.

IT BEGINS.