[center][b]5pm, Last Seed 16 
Rear Entrance, Evermore Castle[/b]
[sub]in collaboration with [@Peik][/sub][hr][/center]

Saddi and Cilo glanced at one another with some sense of apprehension -- this was not entirely unexpected, though certainly unfortunate and less preferred than a straight shot into the palace. Cilo, being more of the punching and kicking type anyway, had his eyes bouncing between Saddi and the guards with an expectant look. Saddi coughed and straightened his back, and with a smile, he turned the charm dial to five out of seven.

“My friends, this is no mistake!” Saddi declared emphatically. “This is Bi’Lamayz here with a special EEC offer! We are liaisons from the company itself to deliver its thanks and acknowledgement of your business with us over the many years. As part of that thanks, we have sent you free -- yes, free -- [i]free[/i] shipment of goods after buying one already! For only nineteen septims, you can have this [i]free[/i] shipment of cheeses, furs, and wines! Have I mentioned that it’s free? Because it is, for only nineteen septims. But wait, there’s more! Redeeming this special and [i]exclusive[/i] EEC offer within the next two minutes, and we will also throw in…”

Saddi reached into his back pocket to reveal a small vial of a clear liquid.

“...A special, patented, and [i]free[/i] male enhancement formula! Simply dab the liquid on the affected area and you’ll be pleasing your lover of thus-far indeterminate gender in no time! For only nineteen septims, you can become the hero of the palace banquet and save your marriage and/or scandalous affair with [i]FREE[/i] products, as thanks for your continued business with the East Empire Company!”

“Tis true, good sirs! Very potent! Although, if I may,” Cilo added, seemingly going with Saddi's charade, as he leaned forward to whisper something to the guards. “You do not wish to use [i]too much[/i] of it; I had a friend who used an entire bottle of it before meeting with his lover; we had to rush him to a surgeon for a quick amputation.” His candor about the possible hazards of the formula were not well-received, it seemed, for one of the guards raised his eyebrows in fear and disapproval. Not the sort of impression you want to make when you are trying to get your products in. Saddi shot him a similarly disapproving glance.

Cilo pouted sadly upon the realization. “Oh, please, they cut it from our salary if these extra shipments are not accepted. Normally it'd be just a single wheel of cheese or a bottle of brandy, but the new superintendent's a total ass kisser; he decided to send the entire luxury stock when he heard 'banquet'. He'll take it out on us if we bring these back... Hmm…”

He raised a finger. “Tell you what, you folks must be missing out on all the snacks and drinks over here in the rear entrance. Why don't you just take it and, uh, 'disappear' it?”

[i]“Reserve it.”[/i] Saddi corrected.

“That way, everyone wins. We say they loved the package, you folks have your cake and eat it too. What do you say?"

“Well I do like free stuff…” One muttered to himself. The other cast his eyes around the front of the palace -- they were early enough that there weren’t so many people gathered around the entrance, before shooting a thumb off to the side. “Bring it to the back. We’ll make sure that these supplies are, uh… stockpiled with the rest of our reserves.”

“Thank you most kindly!” Saddi said, clapping his hands together and bowing his head. The pair continued to pull their wagons of crates past the gate, without the extra pocket money that Saddi had been trying to fish, he noticed, causing him to shoot a disapproving glance toward Cilo. He could’ve bought himself a fancy wine while the rest of the company was partying! He could’ve bought both of them a fancy wine! He hoped Cilo remembered that while they sit in Used Sundries later tonight feeling thirsty and sober.

“We really must work on your sales pitch.” He grumbled.

“Sure, but it's my sincerity that got them,” Cilo replied back. “And they'd be scouring through the city looking for you had I not warned them about your, uh, formula.”

“Do not underestimate the power of placebo, my friend!” Saddi said confidently and with a humored smile. “If the man thinks he’s potent, then surely he’ll behave as such, yes? Grandfather taught me that one, didn’t he?”

Mid-stride, with a hop and kick into the side of the crate, the cheeky khajiit marched with pleasure at the sound of a hissing and grumbling old khajiit inside one of the crates he was hauling around the castle.

“Besides,” Saddi continued, mimicking Dar’Jzo’s thick accent since there was nothing his elder could do about it at the moment, [i]“this one now gets paid more than the others because of such, ah… privilege of executive decisions.”[/i]

Cilo seemed nonplussed when Saddi mentioned the power of placebo, although the Khajiit's next remark got some cogs in his head running. A slightly questioning expression took shape on his face. “...You mean it's not the real deal? Gods be damned,” he replied in well-contained amazement. “Damned alchemy, I tell you. I had this friend by the name of Priapus Magnus back when I was in the Legion. One day he came in with a vial just the same as yours, said he got it from a merchant who sold oils from Akavir. My lad told me it was dragon's seed; apparently you rub it on your pecker and then it's diamonds afterwards. He had this Dunmer girl, insatiable, I tell you. Anyhow, the two rent a room, and hours later the innkeeper breaks in because of screaming. The bed's broken in half, the lass is rubbing her nethers in pain, and our lad has gone unconscious with his tool standing [i]this[/i] tall!” Cilo held up both his hands with about a gladius' worth of space in between them. “We rushed him to this magic woman, she did her, uh, magic, yet it's growing worse. We had to rush him to a surgeon to burst some veins; in the end it took the garrison executioner's axe to separate him from the thing. Can you believe that?”

Cilo began chuckling. “Damn bastard sold the thing to the Temple of Dibella afterwards, where they pickled it; got enough money to live the rest of his life a rich man. I wonder if it was worth the price, though. I wouldn't give up on mine for any amount of money, I tell you.”

“Baan Dar, you weren’t joking back there.” Saddi muttered to himself, looking at Cilo with mild horror. He looked straight ahead and pressed on.

As the pair followed the road they were eventually led to a backdoor where servants and kitchen staff were either in a hurry as they performed chores like taking out garbage or cleaning old pots and pan, or taking a tobacco break rom the preparation. The smok, hickory smell of a mouth-watering roast wafted through the air, mingled with spice and a plethora of other dishes. As they approached, the servants’ eyes went crestfallen as Cilo and Saddi brought even more crates to them. 

“Hello, all!” Saddi greeted cheerily. “Bring these to your cellar, would you? These are live animals for maximum freshness, so don’t go sticking your face and fingers into them, alright? We've had enough people lose fingers today.”

“Oh, yes,” Cilo added. “We've got giant snapping turtles in some of these boys. Makes for great soup, but, well... not the sort of beast you want to mess with!”

“Who eats snapping turtles?” Saddi whispered to him with an incredulous and confounded expression on his face as he shook his head. He looked to the equally confused staff of servants, and put his hands out in a calm demeanor, “He jokes, he jokes! You know how roosters can be, always such assholes. Should’ve heard the ruckus they were making in these crates before we hired an illusion mage to muffle them. Anyway, the payments have already been sorted out! Have a wonderful day!”