[@ZAVAZggg] I think you're doing fine so far, don't worry :) I get the feeling, not just from what you've just said, but from other things too, that it might help you to relax a bit more about your writing in general tbh - personally I always find that my best sort of 'raw prose' if you will comes when I really get into yhe flow of things - a lot of the time I'll even delete the first parargraph I write because I was trying too hard when I wrote it. It's perfectly normal to worry about your writing, but honestly, the less you do, the faster you'll improve, and the more fun you'll have doing it - and isn't that ultimately what we're all here for? Your posts are readable (not just readable, they're really good :)) which honestly, is the only technical aspect that tends to hinder my enjoyment of a post - if I have to squint to be able to understand what's going on. Which I don't with you, so in my book, you're doing great :)

 That said, if you're worried a character you're making may be a mary/gary stu, try googling the 'mary sue litmus test'and it should give you a rough guideline. Also, I kmow a few writing resources that have really helped me improve my writing, if you're interested, feel free to PM me!