Crow couldn’t see anything through his tears as he headed blindly through the woods towards his camp, following the path home by memory since he was helpless to do anything else. Now that he was far enough away from the knights that he felt sure he was alone, he had let his suppressed emotions break free to ravage his body. The pain was worse than any physical injury he had ever received, and at one point he even convinced himself that he must be dying. After all, what else could cause him to feel like this, aside from a mortal wound?

He brought a hand up to clutch at his chest, wishing he could make the unbearable pain go away, but unable to do anything to an injury that he couldn’t see or touch. More tears fell from his eyes, unrepressed. He was certain now that he had lost Penelope. This was the worst he had ever hurt her. Surely even she, as patient and forgiving as she was, wouldn’t take him back after what he had done. He choked as a sob threatened to escape his lips.

Vaguely, he was aware that he needed to try and stay more alert as he traveled alone through the forest. If a local knight found him in his current state, he would be in no condition to defend himself. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Penelope; he couldn’t get the image of her heartbroken face out of his mind. Squeezing his eyes shut, he lifted both of his hands to his head, willing the mental picture to go away. He couldn’t believe he had hurt her like that. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone else, yet he only seemed to cause her more pain.

[i]Maybe she’s better off with someone like Gavin after all,[/i] he choked again. [i]I was a fool to ever think I was good enough to be with her. All I’ll ever be is a lowly criminal.[/i] Suddenly, he felt a sting in his cheek, and he flinched, opening his eyes again to find that he had cut himself on a low-hanging tree branch in his distraction. The small wound burned as it mixed with the salt from his tears, but it was still nothing compared to the anguish he felt on the inside.

Crow continued walking back to his camp, but as soon as he could hear the waterfall in the distance, he slowed to a stop. As tired as he was from the emotionally exhausting night, he didn’t want his companions to see him like this. They didn’t need to know about what had happened between him and Penelope—in fact, he didn’t want them to find out yet. He already knew how they would react. Hazel would be pleased that he wasn’t with a noblewoman anymore, while Rikki would console him at first and later point out that she had been right all along. The only one he trusted with the information was Alistair, but even then, he didn’t want to tell the other thief because his emotions were still too raw. He needed more time to cope on his own.

So, gazing dully ahead, he turned and headed into the deeper part of the woods until he found a secluded spot near the edge of the river where he laid down to be alone, closing his eyes as he continued to cry until his heart grew numb, and he eventually drifted off to sleep.