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"No doubt master. Were he any larger, or demonic, I truly doubt I would be able to match him as I am now." That depressing voice could belong only to the even more depressing existence that was Diarmuid Ua Duibhne. "After all, I am only a Saber. If I was hunting demonic boars, I would always carry Moralltach [b]and[/b] Gáe Dearg. It is a shame such that I cannot be summoned with both weapons at once, and my different forms of Saber and Lancer must hold custody of both in separate uses. Truly I am the most useless servant you could have summoned."

The way he said it was so... Well disappointing, as if he truly did believe those things he was saying. The strange Saber class servant said all this while he was standing less than ten feet from his master... Two girls hanging onto either arm, eyes wide, smiles on their lips. "Oh, and the bandage for my mole fell off somewhere near the peacock enclosure. I didn't tell you at the time because I felt you would only be worried." This was of course said, while both girls began to fight over him.

"I saw him first, you skunk!" The first girl said as she clung to his left arm. Tugging roughly on it, but as he was a servant it was easily in his power to simply fight off both. Not that Diarmuid was the kind of man to do such a thing.
"Liar!" The second girl shrieked, eyes focused only on the enchanted love spot he possessed. "This man deserves somebody who truly loves him. Clearly his master cares so little for him, and you just want him for his looks!"
"Please, my master cares deeply for me." Diarmuid interjecte-
"SILENCE! Can't you see we're trying to help you!?" Both shouted at once, drowning out every protest the servant might make. He truly was too beautiful for his own good. Surely this was a curse. 
"I apologize Miss Einzbern. I'd put them in the tiger enclosure, but I'm not sure if you'd want your day ruined by such a tragedy."

If only he had been summoned as an Avenger. He'd have both sword, spear, and the heartless nature required to fight these beautiful women off. But he didn't have the grudge for it. The piglet was saved from the possible wrath of an Avenger. What a lucky swine.