[hider=The Night Before the March]
[color=gray]Sitting in the darkness there he lay. Sitting in the darkness there he wait. Sitting in the darkness he thinks alone. Sitting in the darkness he is never alone. Sitting in the darkness he sees his life unfold.

It takes a drip and then two. There is a shift in the darkness. The dark becomes light.

Then there is a rumble.

Sounds of screams flood the canals. The blood of her body drenches his hands as he stands up and tries to breathe but there is no air. The blood hair turns white. The blood turns dry and seeps into his own skin. It won't come off.

Staring at his hands he can't forget what has been seen. He knows his duty and he feels it within. He feels the beast roaring within. It shakes his core and it hits every part of his body. He closes his eyes in the darkness. 

Breathe... Breathe...

"Quite lonely there, aren't you?"

The man looked up, the voice catching his attention as he rolled into cover and readied his rifle for a firefight in that dark abandoned room not far from the squad. He watched the shadow move slowly with hands raised. As it entered the moonlight it revealed itself to be a woman. It was... Melanie.

"Demon, leave me! Step closer and I'll shoot! I know you're not real!" He loudly growled through his teeth. Eyes bulged with stress bleeding his forehead. However, Melanie did not move closer. She sat down, shifting a little further away and looking at the moon.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened to us, Franz. War makes a victim of all men. You'll never know us, yes. But it doesn't mean life is over. Our lives are so short. Even if you hadn't killed us, we would have all gone with time." 

"But I'm the one who killed you!" Tears began to flow from the man's cheeks as he shakily lowered his guard, his vision blurred by his own torment. "I can't let that go! Here I am, a stupid idiot who fails his own beloved country by actively fighting it! My sister- I'm putting her at risk! What if I must kill her as I've killed you? I- No... No you're..."

Franz held his head, pressing it against the floorboards and shaking slowly. "No... No she's not... you're not real... You're dead. You've been dead. Go away. Leave me. You're not real. You're not real..."

As he looked up he found her gone. Not a trace of her was left. In that moment he felt immense regret. He wanted to keep talking. He wanted her to stay. But was it good for him? Was it good for any man to be bound by the creations of his own mind? He supposed not. It couldn't have been? Right? Yet... that realization sunk in. He made her go away...

"Your fault" "Murderer" "Federal dog" "Bloodthirsty" "Warmonger" "Heathen" "Hellspawn" "It was you" "It was you" "It was you!"

As the voices spoke Franz found himself moving towards the moonlight, crawling backwards with gun aiming around at the lifeless eyes staring at him from the shadows. "It was war! I was only following orders!" Yet even as he hissed out his response the voices grew louder!

"Murderer!" "Guilty!" "Your fault!" "Guilty!" "Murderer!" "Warmonger!" "Psychopath!" "Murderer!" "Killed enough maidens in your time?!" "Their blood is on your hands!" "Disgusting barbarian!" "Apathetic!" "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!"

"I-I'm not- I ca- I- It was my- My duty is-"

Soon all Franz could do was weep and crawl up into a ball onto the ground. The constant pounding from the voices ripped at his mind. Yet, even as the hounding continued there was something strained inside that was trying its best. There was something inside that couldn't take much more. Then, without warning, snap.

The voices faded. Franz's tears dried. The howling of the wind felt ever so silent. Laying on his back Franz felt... nothing. He laid there for a while. He lost track. But when he sat up and hugged his legs he felt something on his back.

"Accepting of your fate?" Another voice.

"I do what must be done... Nothing more, nothing less."

"So you tell yourself. What was so special about those women."

"They were Imperial. I... I loved them."

"You hardly knew them Franz. You cannot love what you do not know."

"Then what would you call it, shadow?"

"Delusional."

"I can't escape you. What do you want from me?"

"I am not here to hurt you. Have you not noticed how much I have helped you? Do you resist me because I am not familiar? Or maybe I am too familiar?"

"Are you even my own thoughts?"

"Would you honestly ask yourself that question?"

"I... I don't know."

"You do know. And you know that you will continue to suffer. But why struggle? This world has done nothing for you. Time after time it has taken everything from you. Even Amber is gone."

"You don't know that."

"Do you think she would have really left you in the dark for this long? Do you really think the Amber you know would have abandonded you for so long? She is either dead... or- Maybe she doesn't care about poor poor Franz."

"Don't speak of her like that!"

"Don't speak of her like that! Wah! Such a child! You call yourself an adult?! Listen to yourself! You weep over a woman who has been gone from you for so long! You cry! You wail! You throw your tantrum about how you've killed women you know nothing about! Move on!"

Franz felt his spirit sink, looking at the ground as the scolding trapped him further in.

"Oh? Did our feelings surface? Did our nerve get struck? Franz, you know how to survive. This is not how one should. But, if you are tired of fighting..."

The rifle was picked up from the floor. Into his hands the weapon of death rode into the palms of the soldier. The shadow wrapped around his wrists and guided his fingers to close. "You can find rest now. All it takes is one shot."

Franz stared at the weapon, glaring up at the shadow with an angered growl.

"Then choke."

Once more that smoke burned into his lungs. That smoke surrounded him and once more the man in the mask appeared again. He stood and watched as the soldier wheezed. Grunts and groans as the masked man grabbed him by the throat and pressed a finger against his mouth. A gentle shush. A quiet fade out of the small light that existed.

[/color]
[/hider]
[color=Silver]
Franz awoke quietly, sprawled out on the ground with mouth covered by the floorboards. Another nightmare...

After a brief inspection he marched his way outside of the private area he stayed in and rejoined the squad before they departed. He got a friendly good morning from Ines, to which he gave a mutually welcome [color=#0f5397] "Good morning."[/color] Although, perhaps the man had been a little quiet for having been up a little longer than her. Either way, he had stepped about to make sure nobody was dead and waited outside after to simply drag behind everyone else. As usual he would take his position as back line guardian, save for the machine gunners, and he intended to remain that way.

The march had been what it had been but Franz was... not looking good. Well, he was looking worse anyway. He tried to remember what Michael told him. His skin seemed a little more pale. The bags on his eyes were more visible and there was a certain... darkness to him. There was something wrapped around him as he felt very little. There was nothing really good about what he felt and what one could see from a surface level, but there was still something that spoke boldly of Franz. Even with the torture within he marched on beat. His back did not break. Despite all they endured he stepped as an elite. Despite it all he maintained his self proper. Although, there was one moment where he seemed to twitch involuntarily for one very brief moment. Immediately after he was back in control, a cigarette in mouth smoothing his movement.

He was fairly quiet, staying in back to monitor their surroundings for any potential ambush. Even as they came to White Hart he was diligent, not trusting the peaceful scene initially as he scanned the area during their little talk. Not much breaking from formation or even talking as he felt a coil around his neck for the moment. There was the intrusive thought of [color=1b1464]"what if I put my gun in my mouth?"[/color] He shrugged it off, feeling that coil tighten, but fail to choke. It slid across to his shoulder and wrapped around the upper arm. He could feel it, but he knew it wasn't there. He said nothing as they approached the inn.

One thing did, however, burst his burdened mind for just a moment. Although, nobody seemed to be looking at the time, he cracked a smile. It was extremely brief and a burst he couldn't control. His eyebrows rose in a twitch and immediately after they fell back into a neutral form. For a moment he could feel again, but that was a bad thing. There was so much he wanted to say. There was too much to say! He could talk for hours with his hero! Green Fox! Wilhelm was here! B-but... but... The squad was here... oh if only they were dead... No... No Franz calm down. Remember what is talking to you.

Franz didn't wish death upon his allies, but they were a massive inconvenience that were getting in the way of him and his beloved sniper. How to deal with this? Well... He took his feelings and he began to badmouth himself. He belittled himself intentionally and tried to suppress emotions. He needed to stay in control, his own happiness be damned... After all, what good was he to Fox?

Even if he spoke with Green Fox what would that change? He was just some federal shit heel that managed to get along this far probably just by luck. There was nothing great about Franz. He was just a useless Darcsen that would never amount to anything. There wasn't anything that he could do to change his fate or that of so many more Darcsen around the world. How did talking to Green Fox change any of that? Use that brain under that dead ocean hair. Even if you had all the time in the world what would it change? Nothing. Remember your place. Remember that you can easily be replaced and if he so chose Wilhelm would simply scrub you off the map.

Franz allowed that coil to tighten. It grew with his own encouragement and it strengthened... As he came closer to Green Fox, he wanted to speak. But as that coil grew stronger it choked him. He couldn't open his mouth. He couldn't battle his own thoughts. Logic dictated that if the squad knew how he really felt... perhaps they would think ill of him. Maybe, even, that he was a potential traitor... Traitor...

Anxiety kicked in. Panic slammed into his heart which began to rapidly punch his rib cage. Although, his face remained neutral as he casually looked past Green Fox as though he didn't exist, there was the pressing question of his origin. He looked like an Imperial. He loved the empire. What if they knew that? How much would they take away from him? Shit! If they realized what he believed and what he loved they would put him in the corner! He would need to be held in sight and restricted! Damn! Damn! Damn! Curse you blasted dogs! Federation be damned! Puppets of their supposed democracy! They would strip his freedom from him because of his love for an empire! Jean! If you realize you will die! Franz! Franz...

The coil strained. It wasn't worth it. Even if they realized and imposed sanctions upon his own actions what did it matter? He was still a Darcsen... And nothing mattered for a Darcsen. Pointless...

Franz settled into the inn and found himself taking a drink with a short salute toward Ines for the drink. He was mostly quiet, still keeping on his hardened look as he tried to calm his thoughts. Although it was becoming more and more apparent that Isaac deserved to get shot in his fat fucking mouth. The boy ought to sleep with an eye open if he expected to wake up tomorrow. There he went with his own self importance bullshit about "we made you the food!" What a damned idiot. SOMEONE has to take up that mantle. It didn't make you any more special for doing what was necessary. In fact, to be so proud and demanding of prestige was sickening. It spoke of a man who likely belonged to be at the bottom as the deities of old could only tell what nonsense this man would bring if he was anything above! Franz would work the field if it was needed. He would work the iron if needed. He would shoot his own fucking people because it was needed but in NO- DAMN- WAY- DID- THAT- MAKE- HIM- SPECIAL!

He nearly cracked his own glass. He needed a break. If he didn't take a break he would have gunned Isaac down right there. Consequences be damned... but he needed to stay alive. He needed to keep his cool.  He was barely holding onto it but life made it so that people depended on him. He needed to be around for people waiting for him back home and he needed to be around to see if Amber would ever fucking show up... In truth he still cared for her. He cared still for his squad even if he found himself rather irritable. Partially the sleep, partially the condescending down spiral, partially just the swirl of emotions from that night before. He was beginning to feel it stop. He was beginning to feel detached again.

IF there was any solace from this it was that he could think more clearly while not burdened with thoughts of emotion, but it was somehow awful and worse. Still he felt... eugh... the feel of his environmentally flavored uniform was becoming uncomfortable and as such he wanted out. After enough time he found the baths. Although, he blanked out as he scoured through his backpack to look busy. He just needed a moment to think, really. He heard Ines approaching and finished organizing his stuff before zipping it all up and standing. If he had just sat there doing that all day that would have been pretty suspicious. He could have just taken the bath instead of doing that, but the man wasn't thinking entirely clear. Plus, there would be trying to clean his entire self up and he had no idea if this place had brushes or not. It seemed decent, but just in case he would just attempt to make their lives easier.

Confronting Ines, Franz asked a simple question rather bluntly. [color=#0f5397]"Would you like to take a bath together?"[/color][/color]
[@Yam I Am]