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[sub][color=Silver][i]The Siege of Amone, September 10th - [b]Half of a Confession[/b][/i][/color][/sub]
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[color=Silver]	Jean couldn't help but let out a small giggle to himself, a rather innocent one in fact, when she remarked about how glad she was that the tea was soothing some of his pinned up emotions. At the very least, it was nice to see someone actually understand what Jean was going through. Before this, Jean was never [i]with[/i] someone else, neither mentally, emotionally or physically. Everyone was his opposite and yet he was still considered the strange case. No one would look at him, at least in Jean's eyes, without a clue of what he was thinking but would just nod and get along with it. Reyna was...different, though. She was far more different. There was something about her elegance, one that showed only when they seemed to talk alone, that enthralled him and piqued his intrigue in her further. The way she formulated her words and sentences really gave the impression of what a high-status upbringing she must have had in the previous years of her life. Well, at least until she volunteered to join the Atlantic Federation's Vinlander volunteer corps. As much as he felt like it wasn't a good idea for her, there was at least some comfort in knowing that he had met her through that exchange of luxury to realistic war-torn homelands of the Europan Frontier. Jean took a few more sips of his tea before finishing the mug, placing it aside and making a rather well-versed expression to express his enjoyment of the beverage. She truly did make a great tea, and she knew it well too. He wouldn't of had to remind her more than she most likely already had been. Once more, Jean let out an innocent smile and returned the compliment to her expression of the tea's medicinal factors.[/color]

[color=Aqua][b]"I'd say there's more factors than just the tea that's soothing my pain, to be honest."[/b][/color] [color=Silver]Soon enough, Jean soon found himself flustered with a red tint splitting into his cheeks as Reyna finally commented on his passing analysis of the [i]fun[/i] going on nearby. She put it in such a straightforward tone and said it how it was, making Jean feel slightly embarrassed as he began to nervously laugh. His clean hands rubbed the back of his head during this anxious chuckle as he looked towards her elegant and polite mannerism, which had blurted out [i]'the act of sex'[/i] ever so casually without any hint of regret.[/color] [color=Aqua][b]"O-oh...I guess you like to say it how it is, Reyna? But...at the very end of the day, there's kind of a small...well...it's embarrassing to admit but there's a small beauty to it. Soldiers coming together in the relief of stress, knowing some days might be their last. Has a nice ring of innocence to it. Well...except Ines' [i]one[/i]. That seemed to be more...uhh...well how do I put it? It seemed to be a bit more [i]primal[/i]."[/b][/color]

[color=Silver]	He burst into laughter himself, suddenly not being able to contain the innate embarrassment of the conversation. It was in all intention to embarrass Reyna slightly for her forwardness, but the reality stood that Jean did see some minor beauty in the connections members of his Squad were making. The unfortunate truth, however, was that everyone had seemingly found someone to share moments so tender and special with, and yet Jean was copped up in his room, having tried to end everything as he knew it, alone and afraid of the future to come. Even with Reyna's amazing attempt at calming his nerves, Jean could still not imagine that words were ever going to be enough to change his seemingly sealed fate of homelessness, hunger and neglect that was to come. After his laughter had died down, he spent a short moment losing himself in Reyna's eyes once more, suddenly wiping away that previous worry of his loneliness once more. He felt completely outmatched against her brilliance, innocence, beauty and tranquillity, imagining himself as nothing more than a peasant to her queen-ship. Either way, the short silence that encompassed him allowed for him to fully appreciate the details of her untainted irises, losing his mind within their hypnotic and alluring attraction. It was only for a few seconds that he'd found himself trapped within their gaze, but Jean was sure it was an eternity. Everything stood still when he did so, but the pessimistic realisation that she may not find his company anything of a similar level of attraction drew his eyes into a frantic shudder, looking around the room eagerly until his mind was completely scraped out from the gutter.

	She posed herself in such a way that wanted to make fun of him. He could see it in her posture and the way that she spoke. How important, she asked, was a wealthy woman to that person of significance? Jean was lost for a moment, feeling his heart stand still as he searched his mind endlessly for a solution. Was she teasing him or was it something she was using as a way to further blackmail him in the future? Was there any positivity to her alluring interrogation, one where her provocative words left a sinking sensation of anxiety within his heart? Jean took a large gulp and deep breath to calm his nerves, before he finally faced some sort of courage that he'd never came across before. His hands were trembling as he tried to formulate the sentence, but he didn't keep anything as direct. Instead, something that was missing from their conversation returned. Jean began to use the same tone and flirting mechanism he'd shown Reyna previously many times before, finally finding the question as a way to joke around, but also hint towards something far more real than any of them could imagine.[/color]

[color=Aqua][b]"How important, huh?"[/b][/color] [color=Silver]He began, before sighing fully and letting out a genuinely relaxed smile of gratitude and appreciation for the damsel of Vinland. Jean wasn't sure what to admit, or how far he should admit it, but he decided it was only fair to tell some truth instead of play by the tease.[/color] [color=Aqua][b]"So much so that the adjective of [i]wealthy[/i] does not concern him, enough so that many other factors do. One that gives him a realisation that diamonds need pressure to formulate, and the end product of those priceless compressions in his life is standing before him currently. Like...like how a flower needs sunlight, but...but I don't know why it does, it just does. It gives life and allows it to breathe, to continue growing into something more recognisable and better. To age and to really place itself as an influential part of the life. Wealth wasn't the concern, but the...the..."[/b][/color] [color=Silver]He hesitated for a moment, shuddering in his speech as he realised how far he'd gone with the teasing. He wasn't going to say it straight and flat out, nor was he going to say all of his feelings about her, but he at least wanted to make sure something was said at the end of the day.[/color] [color=Aqua][b]"The concern is about her well-being, her happiness, her safety, her independence, her elegance and continuation of life. I guess that's how important the wealthy woman is to that [i]specific person[/i]."[/b][/color]

[color=Silver]	Once he had realised it, it was too late. He looked away, his cheeks flustering all bright and fruitful colours. His heart pounded with an endless thump precisely after the previous without any noticeable intervals. The mind he held within his skull pounded, punishing himself for trying to say something genuinely true about his feelings, which was something Jean didn't do often. Was it shame? Was she going to feel annoyance or shame in his strange answer to her question? It wasn't a full confession though, was it? It was only a metaphorical anecdote towards unsolicited emotions of a significant woman towards a specific man. Jean was unsure of how to process how fast the situation had gone by his own accord, but he eventually turned back around to face her, his face clearly full of anxiety and the insecurity of his honesty.[/color]

[color=Aqua][b]"I-I'm sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean to say as much as I...as I did. I'll...I'll go...go check on...I'll...I'll go check on Thomas a few rooms down...if...I...We can talk later, right? I still want to have the opportunity to just talk without being intruded by other soldiers, if...if you wouldn't mind? Ugh, sorry. I'll just head out."[/b][/color] [color=Silver]With some hesitation, Jean patted her gently on the head by the slightest and softest touch he had to offer, before he quickly ejected himself from the room, unsure of how she would react or process the newfound information he'd unwillingly spilt towards her teasing. Oh god, she was going to hate him, wasn't she? Jean couldn't live with potentially having lost someone he cared about so endearingly. It was true, Jean was set on finding a life and a future with someone special, but whether or not he'd just killed his own chances at experiencing that future was something else. And so, he turned the corner, retreated down the corridor quickly, past the exasperated noises of love-making from Isaac's and Franz's rooms, and then approached to check on Thomas' condition, using it mainly as an excuse to escape the sheer embarrassment he felt from opening up [i]about[/i] Reyna, to Reyna.[/color]

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[color=Silver]	The night had settled in well. Parts of the Inn were now only occupied by Squad 1, as those there before had gone back to rejoin the fighting elsewhere in the city. There was a strange quietness around the entire building once the darkness outside had engulfed the once bright rooms of the White Hart. However, there was still potential activity downstairs. Freya was indeed singing to herself with some old Oceanic folk songs she knew off of the top of her head, whilst Lucia was barely awake, her head and upper torso sprawled across the bar table. Drinks were still being served, but Lucia couldn't muster any more than the single drop that caused her to go tipsy. Michael was likely to not be too far away, having apparently whispered something to her that she didn't even hear. Jean couldn't help but smile at their connection, seeing the beauty of their blooming relationship in the midst of a revelation. On the tables was an aftermath of a drinking match that had happened earlier that afternoon, where the barmaids were still tending to the bombsite of empty bottles, tipped over bar-stools and pools of spilt alcohol. Jean partially shook his head, having spoken to the owner of the Inn about a potential prohibition for tomorrow, especially considering how wild everyone seemed to be with their alcoholic tolerance and control. Jean didn't tell anyone yet, as they all still seemed to be drinking the night away with extreme prejudice towards their own self-control. He shook his head again and then sat himself down around a large table, with plenty of spaces for the others to join if they so wished.

	He was still in a confused state. He requested to at least talk to or see Reyna alone sometime either tonight or the following date, just to at least give him some appreciation and ability to talk under normal conditions. Unlike the tea incident upstairs, Jean had never fully had the opportunity to learn anything about her specific past, which he wanted to in order to preserve the beauties behind it. Or was it Reyna trying to preserve Jean? Either way, she was still wearing the amulet he gave her, the pendant of his sister's name, and that in itself was enough to give Jean a sense of ease. Now was a time of celebration, yet he didn't feel like celebrating. Jean knew that either tonight or tomorrow, he would have to tell Isaac about his...his attempt at ending his own life. He had to tell someone. He just [i]had[/i] to. Isaac was his second in command, so it was only natural that he'd approach him, despite the differences they had. Jean wanted to make sure he built a connection with his NCO to maximise their efficiency, but even trials of fire had proven that their commanding ethos were both different from one another, and that they weren't one in the same mindset in terms of combat abilities and strategy. Either way, he had to tell someone, before he would try it again. And after saying what he said and seeing Reyna in all her glory and elegance, he didn't want to pull the trigger ever again.[/color]

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