[h1][i][b]Emperor Kuzco[/b][/i][/h1]
[i]Ahhh. Man, I always thought travelling places like this would be rough, but this isn't so bad. Fresh air, open skies, a nice gentle rocking motion... oh, and plenty of travelling food! Who knew alpacas could carry so much food such a long way without getting tired?[/i]

'Sire, I believe the alpacas are getting tired,' the nearest guard said, his blue-and-burgundy bodypaint breaking Kuzco out of his daydreaming. Woah, evening-dreaming, even. Who knew doing nothing could take so little time? 'Perhaps we ought to halt for dinner?'

'Ehh...' Well, it was about that time. They were so close to the city, though; it was [i]right there,[/i] just a [i]teensy[/i] little bit further... wait, he had a plan. 'Alright, let's take half an hour, and then we're pushing on until we get there. I'm sure we all want to sleep under a roof tonight, right?' Well, they had ceilings, but they were ceilings made of cloth and attached to carts. Carts pulled by alpacas! They'd considered llamas, but those weren't presentable. They didn't like being brushed. But they [i]loved[/i] spitting, so.

It took only a few seconds for the royal procession to come to a full-halt, each of the twelve guards forming a line leading to one of the carts, with Kuzco modestly taking his place in the middle of the line. The nearest man to the travelling device, of course, yanked the velvet rope tied to the red-and-gold tent atop it, pulling out all the hidden cookware and surfaces, and rapidly transforming it into what amounted to a makeshift chef's kitchen. And stepping in, taking the spot of master chef, was none other than...

'Alright, boys, today's dish is chicken in spicy grub sauce!' called the chef, who was average-sized, yellow-haired, and decidedly not Kronk. Admittedly, Calo's food was pretty good in its own right, else he wouldn't have accompanied the procession, but it wasn't [i]Kronk[/i] good. Kronk's food was practically divine, fit for a king - or, an Emperor! Hah, man, he just loved Kronk. What a champ.

'Where the heck is Kronk?' Kuzco asked after a moment, realising that pontificating internally hadn't brought the musclebound man into view.

'Nature watching!' came the answer from Calo as he served the first guy. 'Keep the line moving, sire, folks behind you wanna eat too!' Right, right. "Nature watching." God, of all the times for somebody to get lost- okay, to be fair, Kuzco had been only half-aware of the world for the last few hours. He was sure Kronk would show up sooner or later; the big lug had a sense of direction like a bloodhound. Kronk would show up soon, Kuzco just knew it. Kronk was always... definitely not going to show up just because he was thinking hard about it. Fiiine, he'd have the stupid chicken, but he didn't have to enjoy it.

...oh, that was pretty tasty, actually!