Kept ya waitin' huh?

[@Briza]

[hider=Samuel J. Foster]

Let's start by talking about your formatting. It looks a lot better than what you were presented with, and is both easy to read and aesthetically pleasing. If I had any corrections to suggest, I'd just move the bullet information at the bottom of the CS to somewhere just below his name or his quote. This way I don't have to scroll to the bottom of the sheet to get all of the quick information.

I did like how you managed to spread personality and life to every corner of the CS. Written appearances are something I dread doing, and typically try to get them over with as soon as possible so that I can get to the interesting bits. The personality you used to write everything with is part of that I feel. This style of writing possibly caused you to blend a few of the sections together though, with the apperance and personality sections being the biggest culprits. I liked that you were able to tell us a lot about Sam while also leaving enough open to create mysteries and hooks for the GM to use.
[/hider]

[@Calle]

[hider=William McDougal]
There's certainly nothing wrong with a straight forward character. Sometimes the best way to stand out is to not be extraordinary at anything. I also really like how William is ingrained in Ashfork. He's not just the saloon owner, he has connections running all over the place. There's certainly nothing wrong with a short, coincise sheet, but I feel that there were some areas that could have been fleshed out more to make them more interesting. His sister Mary seemed to be an important person in his childhood, but his bio doesn't really explain what became of her when he grew up. You mention that Lilly-ann and Robert know how to use weapons, but not why. Expanding on these hanging details can make a good CS become a great CS. As an example, you could add “William McDougal had seen enough bar brawls to know danger was everywhere, so he taught his children how to handle a six-shooter and a knife.” It doesn't have to be any longer than that, but it builds on William's character and reaffirms how his family and money are his most prized possessions. Because there's actually a lot to this character that simply isn't being said. But that's also why I really like him. He has a ton of character hooks. Character hooks are something any good GM will look for, and William has them in spades.  It would be fun to have him in an RP just because he'd be into everything via all the gossip he likely hears. And what he doesn't hear from customers, he hears from the rest of his family.

[/hider]

[@Gwynbleidd]

[hider=Kathryn E. Gamble]
A short, concise character sheet that gets the job done. The writing is pleasant to read, almost no fluff, and anything I really need to know about the character is there for me to read. Everything from her backstory to her personality was well crafted and about as detailed as it needed to be. It could be expanded on further though. Being that Ashfork is such a unique location and central to the story, I would have liked to have known if there was anything unique that brought her to that location. There isn't a whole lot in Kathryn's backstory that grounds her to this RP specifically. 

[/hider]

[@ayzrules]

[hider=Theodora Shockley]

I mean you came in right at the wire. A few minutes later and whew.

I'll talk about the formatting first. I do like that you changed the color, as I feel maroon better suits your character than the bright orange I had gone with. You made a few other stylistic changes, but it's largely the same character sheet.

The character is interesting. Every section of the CS drip with personality, and Theodora comes across as a character that could offer a lot of interesting interactions between her vocal nature and hate for Americans. I do feel that it probably could have been proofread one more time just to clean up the sections a bit. There are some spots in the personality section that just feel like a repeat of what's already been stated in paragraphs prior, and the appearance section also seems to have been bled into by the personality section. But perhaps that is the cost of having an appearance section that isn't as dry as a bone to read. Her biography came across as very believable, which is a rarity among roleplayers.
[/hider]


[hider=My vote]

If I were voting, I would give it to Briza.

I liked all the characters, but I felt that Theodora and Kathryn could show up in any western RP. William and Samuel felt like they had a much higher stake in what was going on in the story. I did like  William's involvement with almost every facet of Ashfork, but Samuel's sheet edged out and included the racial tensions that made up a pillar of the RP. 
[/hider]

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