Tsura didn't mind that his rider spent extra time on him. When she was near his front, he frequently tried to shove his nose under her arm, or would hook his long head over her shoulder and pull her towards him. Tsura was spirited and wild, yes, but he was also affectionate to those he trusted. It felt good to have someone, even a horse, want her. Ridahne did not feel worthy tonight. Of the honor she was given by protecting Darin, of the grace she'd been shown by not being immediately executed after all she'd done. She did not feel worthy of love, mercy, or forgiveness. Tsura didn't really care either way and thought she was a fine person. It was more than Ridahne deserved, she thought as she combed his black mane. His light tan coat was smooth and glistened in the firelight after she'd finished with it. 

[I]High Treason.[/I]

The two words seemed to circle her like an evil halo, battling with the part of her that insisted she had only done as she was brought up to do. They had created her for a purpose, and she had lived out that purpose, only to show them that they did not like what they had created. Callous bastards, how could they do that to her? And yet, how could she do all that she'd done? She'd been so accepting of death because it was only what she deserved.

A noise made her pause for a moment in her combing; Darin softly singing. She didn't know why, but somehow it made her want to burst into tears all over again. She bit down hard on her lip. [I]Get a grip, Ridahne,[/I] some part of her demanded. And yet at the same time some other part of her felt like breaking down and weeping openly. 

Steadying herself, Ridahne checked on the cook pot and nodded. "Food is ready. Hope you like it. I don't blame you if you don't though, it's very different than what you eat in these parts." Ridahne's face was cast towards the ground, but her voice carried all the subtle expression for her. She was not at peace and was struggling to hold herself together amid warring emotions. She had made the curry far less spicy than she might have if it was just for her, though it still had a gentle burn to it.  It still tasted like home. 


[I]Ajoran sat himself down across from Ridahne, his movements smooth and controlled while the others danced and caroused. "You look out of place, Imira." It meant 'moon' and she always felt a prickle of heat in her cheeks whenever he called her that. She tried to hide her smile in her cup, but he saw through it. "Are you well?"
"You know me..." she said with a shrug. "I didn't...I'm not used to so much food...in one place. For me." Her first time at one of these feasts, she'd nearly gone wild as she heaped her plate with a look like someone might try and take it from her. The other Eija laughed and said 'slow down Atakhara, you'll choke!' She'd been so sharply embarrassed that she made a point to be reserved when food was on the table, at least around this crowd. She'd grown up poor and had the mentality of 'take it when you can get it', and that was hard to break. She was also often overwhelmed, like she was now. 

Ajoran offered a soft smile. "At least have a drink. You could use one, I think. Here, I will have one too. Besides, I have something to tell you." He scooted a little down the low table across the smooth marble floor until he reached a small pitcher of clear juniper liquor with bits of orange peel and lavender buds floating in it. Ajoran snatched two silver glasses, short and wide like tiny bowls and poured them each a measure of the clear liquid. Ridahne took her own little bowl between two fingers and studied his face. Ajoran was practically bursting, so she prodded his chest across the table. 

"Well? What is it?"
"It's not public yet, I have to get my marks first. But Ailinde-Sol asked if I would become one of her Taja in training. And I sort of accepted," he said coyly.
Ridahne openly gasped. "That's amazing! Ajoran! How wonderful!" They both grinned and tapped their little drinking bowls against the stone table--the Azurei equivalent of toasting and clinking glasses--and drank a sip. "Have you written home yet?"
"Not yet, I will when it's made public. But I couldn't help it, I had to tell you." 
Ridahne grinned. "Not to steal your wind, but I have some exciting news as well!" 
He leaned forward and she could smell the floral liquor on his breath like a sweet breeze. "Well then out with it!"
"Khaltira-Sol told me she has some special assignments for me and Takhun. She didn't say what yet, but said I had an aptitude for it and would do well. I still don't believe it sometimes--that a poor Atakharan girl like me could end up in the Sol's court at all, much less doing special tasks!" It was Ajoran's turn to congratulate her, and the two slapped their little bowls against the table again and drank.[/I]

She'd been so naive then. So excited. So eager. And look where that had gotten her...

"I am sorry," she said after a long pause. "I am...not good company tonight. I apologize. I have never been so close to the tree before and...I...have a lot to think about."