Brendon was so unbelievably calm, so incredibly collected in this situation, and Ryan had always thought he was the less emotional and expressive one, but - here they were, Ryan falling apart at the seams, Brendon adjusting so quickly to the new level their relationship had taken. It’d come so far, from nemesis to just sexually involved to maybe-friends, lovers-if-you-could-call-it-that, and then, for a while, they weren’t anything. There wasn’t even a promise of more, of a conclusion to their wonderfully complicated story - until now. It was difficult not to be in denial for either of them, considering every new twist they took was something usually almost unwelcome and always very unexpected. Here Ryan was, giving up on being in denial, having admitted to himself quite some time ago how he really felt, and now... to Brendon’s face, dauntingly. He felt like he must look so dramatic, and in contrast, Brendon so calmly returned his confession, like it was nothing, like it hadn’t haunted either of them before.

So in response Ryan had no choice but to mirror him. Was it really that serious? They worried about other peoples’ opinions constantly - but other peoples’ lives didn’t revolve around them, so who would care when it was so unimportant to them? Their friends, at most, would be stunned at first, maybe their respective bandmates would tell them from personal experience that it was a bad idea for them to be involved. And, stupidly, Ryan had been so worried about Brendon’s reaction for so long, whether he’d lose him if he wanted to continue seeing him after tour or if he admitted something he was sure went unreciprocated; now Brendon’s calm response made him feel silly for all of that, wonder why he hadn’t seen it before. Suddenly things were obvious, suddenly things fell into place. 

And, suddenly, things weren’t scary and shaky and unfamiliar. It was warm, comfortable, anticipatory in a good way where Ryan could tell this was opening new doors for them. He didn’t expect them to announce to the world what was between them; in fact he was in no rush to do so anyway. He was excited to take this new start with Brendon, where they were on the same page and he didn’t have to act ‘subtle’ all the time and neither of them suddenly remembered what the reality of their relationship was supposed to be and gave the other distance. When Ryan first met Brendon, he was sure that this was the end of his musical career, that Brendon was a poison to his success and would tamper with his ambition - now he wanted to treat him like a boyfriend, and they were equals, and Brendon was quite possibly the best thing to happen to him, considering how much he contributed to the good things in Ryan’s life.

Brendon smiled like things were simple and Ryan instantly returned it, his breath steadying with his, because somehow Brendon’s good attitude was contagious. [i]Oh, yeah. I’m serious.[/i] He sounded like he was joking around but Ryan understood, just laughed softly, let his eyes roam over his face while he tried to fully comprehend their new circumstances. [i]Can I just say I’m very impressed you haven’t started undressing me yet.[/i] Ryan laughed again, this time in almost-bewilderment, his eyebrows shooting up. [i]I’m actually kind of offended.[/i] [b]”Well, then, we’ll have to fix that, won’t we,”[/b] Ryan replied easily, his voice a thousand times more balanced than it had been in his brief panic. Brendon had the worst timing, but sure, he could work with that. [b]”Need I remind you, I was very against this ten minutes ago. You’re convincing.”[/b]

They were both evidently little enough for this massive armchair, but momentarily Ryan doubted he’d have room to do much there, but. For one thing, he was impatient, and getting to the bedroom would take, like, twenty unwelcome seconds. For another, he didn’t really want any space right now. His fingers travelled over the fabric of Brendon’s oversized T-shirt for a moment before he began to lift it over Brendon’s head, on the brink of laughing again because - [b]”Is this mine? You have [i]such[/i] a crush on me.”[/b] Ryan probably shouldn’t be welcoming those kinds of jokes, because he’d probably die of embarrassment should it be returned, but regardless. It was endearing enough to convince him, so Ryan slipped from the chair onto his feet, lifting Brendon with him, legs around his waist, to carry him the short distance to their bed - well, really, [i]someone’s[/i] bed, since they weren’t quite intended to be shared. Either way, he half-placed, half-dropped Brendon onto the sheets, climbing up after him between his legs.

And maybe his version of bedroom talk was expanding on the sentiment they’d already shared, mostly because it was a little funny. So, he ran his fingers along Brendon’s waistband before undoing the button, looking at Brendon quizzically. [b]”Since when did you know?”[/b] he asked, apparently evil, because he slowed down until he heard a response.