Ridahne nodded tearfully. “I knew it couldn’t go on. And if I only walked away I would be replaced. It would continue. So I did the only thing I knew. I killed my partner. He and I had known for a while and he didn’t seem to care. I killed Inaeris, the young successor to Khaltira-Sol’s throne, because she was influenced by her and was learning her ways. And I killed Khaltira-Sol, princess of Azurei. I killed my own Sol that I swore oaths to. Oh, Great Tree, I killed them all!” She was struck with a new wave of tears. Doubled over, she did sob then. 

“I am what they made me!” She cried in anguish. “They trained me to bring justice and so I did! They trained me to kill, they trained me to do what had to be done! What choice did I have? This wasn’t what I wanted when I became an Eija! I wanted to make something of myself, to do something right for once!” She was shouting now, not at Darin but up at the sky. “I didn’t want it to end up like that! I was supposed to be put to death for what I’d done. I deserved to be put to death. I should have been but I...”

Ridahne cut off, at a loss for words. Instead she clung to Mitaja until she got her breathing under control. She still had no idea why she was here with the Seed Bearer Of all people.  It didn’t really make sense and yet there she was. Steadier now, she said softly, “I was supposed to marry Ajoran.” She touched the carnelian necklace around her neck. “But he is a Taja—a great honor. To associate himself with me would be social death and I couldn’t bring him down with me. I made him turn me in. I tried to give this back to him,” she said about the spiral pendant. “He wouldn’t take it. Damn him, he wanted to wait for me to finish this task. He’d do it, too. He would have stood by me at my execution too, even if I demanded he leave. But I can’t...I can’t destroy his career. He’s a good person...I can’t tie him down to my own burning ship. I’m sorry, this isn’t even important I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this. I will see you through to Eluri and you can find someone more worthy of this task there. I will go home.”

The weight of that implication sat among them like a stone giant. Ridahne could not fathom a world in which Darin would still want her by her side, and she didn’t blame her. When she spoke of going home and ultimately her own death, she was coldly resolute. Resigned, but she would go with dignity. The guilt did not overshadow the feeling that in the end, she’d done what needed to be done. Ajoran knew it. Hadian knew it. She was just the only one permitted to say it out loud. Ridahne sagged, feeling like all her emotional and physical energy had been squeezed out of her, but she no longer felt an exploding kind of anxiety and guilt. Just a deep ache for all she had done. 

She sat  with her legs criss-crossed and her head hung low so a curtain of wavy black hair shadowed her tattooed face. She exuded defeat in body and voice. But even in such utter defeat she held a kind of grace, a dignity that gave her peace. “I am Ridahne Torzinei, breaker of oaths and traitor to my people, murderer of royalty, betrayer of bond and kin, killer of those I swore to protect. I will go. I will accept my fate.”