Ridahne genuinely could not believe her ears. Darin was mistaken. It wasn’t that Ridahne desired to leave her and abandon her quest, no, quite the opposite. Ridahne had only falsely preempted Darin’s reaction to hearing the news. The elf thought for SURE that the moment she knew, Darin would demand that she leave, that she would WANT a new guardian. And she had merely tried to accept this decision with dignity. But she’d been wrong. 

She stared at the young woman, mouth open. “You...mean you still....want me?” She shook her head firmly as if shaking aside something heavy or bothersome. She looked visibly relieved. “You mistake me, Darin. I did not mean to say I want to leave I only thought you would send me away. No! If you would have me I would fulfil every promise I made to you. I meant every word and still do. I just thought for sure that you would be angry with me and wouldn’t want to keep me as your guardian. Forgive me! I misunderstood you and your heart. To think that you would still have me after all I have done is an honor. I swear to you I won’t let you down. But you are mistaken about me and my past as well.” 

Her gaze, though still sparkling with tears, became hard and resolute.  “I did not run. I have never run. I have always done my duty no matter how hard it is, no matter what I would lose. I made the mistake of trusting Khaltira-Sol, yes, but when I knew the truth I stood my ground and did what no one else would. I did not run to death, it was only the price paid for my deeds and i was willing to give it if it meant doing what was right. I paid the ultimate price and I lost EVERYTHING. Never forget that. For the record, I didn’t ask for this journey, I was sent. And I’m still trying to sort out why. But I did not run.  And Ajoran....you would not understand. I am not your father,” she said, tone edging on cold. “I did not abandon him. I did not leave him on a cold night with no explanation. We have known each other longer than your parents have been alive. He knows my heart. Better than most. He understands what I had to do. ALL of what I had to do. He knows I put distance between us for his sake. In doing so I kept him from my own sins. And I...I haven’t forsaken him. Not wholly. Like I said. Love is complicated.” She clutched the carnelian spiral. He had carved it himself, thinking of her as he did.  The Azurei did not exchange rings like some humans, and instead they exchanged Ali’i, or the large earrings worn in the stretched lobes of their right ears. Based on design and material they conveyed one’s family and region of origin, and for her to remove her bone one and replace it with the carnelian would show publicly that she had become one of his family. Betrothed often wore them as pendants before the ceremony. She felt with a fingernail the individual cut marks where he had shaped the stone. And In that moment she missed him horribly. 

Her hard, icy tone dissolved. “As long as he is Taja and I am disgraced, we cannot be. Not by law. There is...some chance that may change because of this quest. But you must understand, this is unprecedented. No one in the history of Azurei has ever murdered their Sol and then the next day been sent off to aid in the most important quest in all of Astra. I very well could be pardoned of my crimes but no one but maybe the Eluri can guess what the implications and specifics of that could be. I don’t even know if I’ll make it back. I can’t have him wither away while he waits for a false hope. We will see what the future holds but until then we cannot be.”

By the Tree, it felt so much easier to have all of that out in the open. She had been carrying that weight in silence for four months and to speak it aloud now was more of a relief than she ever imagined. And Darin still wanted her by her side. Ridahne did her best attempt at a seated bow. “Ri’atal, you have shown me kindness I do not deserve. I am yours. If you want me by your side then I WILL see this through. And I swear by blood and bone and by the Tree itself that only death will keep me from this task. You won’t regret this night I promise you!”

Ridahne meant it. It felt like the night she’d received her vision all over again, with hope bubbling inside her. The guilt and anxiety and wretchedness seemed to fade before it. Ridahne Torzinei, Seed-Chained, guardian of the Seed-Bearer, redeemed daughter of the Night Sky, would at last get the second chance she had so longed for. 

Something about her whole demeanor seemed less closed off than before. Her deepest darkest secrets had been unveiled and there was nothing left for her to fear