[@Archangel89] BBeast is a little busy and you won't be in until both he and I reach a consensus. In the meantime, I've decided to give you some early feedback on Ikarus. These are just my opinions -- BBeast and the other players may think differently. However, these will still be the main points that influence my judgement

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You've put forward a character concept that has some good potential going forward. Even though there are some godly characters that partly overlap in philosophy with Ikarus, there have not been any that directly and specifically influence leadership abilities and the general idea of magic. These are more than viable themes to go off of, but they will require some deeper explanations to fit into the universe.

Let's divide it in the leadership and magic aspects for the sake of clarity.

The leadership aspect can be a tricky one to play, because leadership tends to be a two-way relationship as far as mortal interactions go. The idea of bestowing or removing leadership ability from individuals is a fair power at face value, but keep in mind this shouldn't cause such extremes as hypnotically changing those around the leader between suicidal faith and unrepentant disgust. Otherwise you may fall into the realm of controlling other characters indirectly. Not only would this be an unreasonable expectation of other players but it also undercuts the individual agency of your own side characters, and I don't want to see you shoot yourself in the foot.

The magic aspect is a bigger deal, because the setting does not have universal established rules and limitations for how magic actually works short of some specific effects (like Asceal's healing waters). If you would like so have this integral to your portfolio, you will need to define the system much more closely than the mana portfolio description. The best practice here would be to make a system that is open-ended enough for others to contribute to and build upon.

As an aside, I'm not sure if this was meant to be implied, but Ikarus being the source of all mana in the universe may be difficult to justify as it places a monopoly on magic and leadership that other players will have trouble with. It may be more reasonable to say he has strong control over it, but it is a naturally occurring phenomenon. Universal effects like that tend to get produced only by spheres. If Ikarus eventually ascends to godhood by obtaining a sphere, then the sphere's effect could possibly serve the purpose as the source of all mana if it suits you.

As for the mana portfolio as a whole, keep in mind two more things:

1. Its strength will be reduced versus other portfolios if it is especially broad. For instance, if you want to use your portfolio to magic up a firestorm to burn one of Phystene's forests, you will need to expend much more MP to destroy the forest than Phystene used to create it, because the forests from the Plants portfolio is narrower than broadly potent magic of the Mana portfolio. A broad portfolio will also have a harder time justifying portfolio discounts for specific acts unless it relates to magic and/or leadership as a whole.

2. The portfolio description section is most helpful when it's crunchy and clear. You can add some prosey stuff if you like, but this is where you define your portfolio's capabilities. Think about what you intend to do with the portfolio and try to express it in this section.

Anyway, with the portfolio description out of the way, we can move onto the personality. This section is mostly fine and I appreciate the amount of meat provided. Though, there are a few points I'd like to touch on.

First, a riddle. What's the quickest way to get a PC to be belligerent and not do what your PC says? The answer, putting this in your personality: "Ikarus is the definition of commanding. When he enters an area all those under him fall under his sway without question."

Ikarus will have to earn his position through the way he's played. I don't doubt your capabilities here, but it's unreasonable to assume everyone around Ikarus will always be yes-men. Most mortals may be overwhelmed with his presence but descriptions of how other people behave around your character are really up to them.

Second, there are no humans (yet). However, you can probably rectify this my just referring to mortals instead so you include the current sapient races in the universe. Really more of a nit pick there.

Thirdly, I would like to get your confirmation that Ikarus is capable of changing during the course of the story. Right now his personality is very straightforward and seems only to refer to his interactions with mortals. At some point or another he'll be interacting with gods and other demis. I don't expect every detail to be planned out and regurgitated for us, I just want to know your not going to get bored with Ikarus' implacable face given the current circumstances of the IC world. He's gotta have some kind of story ahead of him. Don't be afraid to write a personality that may at times be at odds with whatever allegorical feel your portfolio may have. Perfect characters are boring, even perfect demigods.

One last nitpick: Ikarus' appearance seems fine but it would be nice to have a point of reference for how big his initial form is. As big as a typical dragon or something else?

In summary, there's some work to be done but Ikarus can definitely carve out a niche for himself. If you'd like to change up some stuff, post another draft in a new post and let us know.

If you have any questions or would like to shout at me, feel free to ping me on Discord :)
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