Ridahne followed, giving a polite farewell nod to Tax. It was good to talk to someone who she could really relate to, who understood her language and manner of speech. Someone who didn't completely hate her. The list of those types of people in this world was growing very thin, and she counted Hadian and Ajoran the only two that would stay on that list for certain. Darin perhaps didn't hate her, but there was not yet any kind of love. There might never be, Ridahne told herself. She could not hold her breath waiting for that. Or for anyone. Even if Hadian and Ajoran abandoned her, she wouldn't be surprised. Heartbroken, yes, but not surprised. Not after all she'd done. 

They walked in silence for a bit until they were really alone, and then Ravi asked how she'd gotten Seed-Chained. Ridahne didn't know how much he knew already but she didn't doubt that if he wanted to find out all the gritty details of her life, he could. There was no sense in hiding it and besides, now that she had told her story to one stranger, doing it again would be less difficult.  "They are one in the same, in a way," she said. And she began by explaining a brief history of her life and how she came to be an Eija, a law keeper, and how she was elevated to Eija'alihn. She told of the corruption of Khaltira-Sol and the moment she knew without a doubt what she had guessed in her heart for some time. And she told him how she decided to fix the problem, of her ordered execution and her vision, and her sudden journey into the wild and brief travels and struggles with Darin.

"We misunderstood each other gravely. I believed beyond any doubt that she would be angry and would cast me out. And who would blame her? I am of little worth to anyone, and my deeds are beyond forgiveness. I deserve nothing more. If she cast me out, if she sent me away, I would be honor bound to return home, seek out the Sota-Sol, and tell her of my failure. My execution would be carried out, and Astra would be rid of me at last. I knew that. And I truly believed that Darin would want to send me away, but I feel in part like she took me on as a guardian in the first place because she knew what my fate would be if she didn't, and she did it out of pity. I thought perhaps she would struggle with condemning me to death, even though she wanted to. So out of a sense of duty, I offered. I offered to see her to safe hands and then leave her alone and go home to meet my fate, and thus allow her to find someone more worthy of the task. She misunderstood me, thinking that I wanted to leave her, that I was running from responsibility. And I had misunderstood her. She did not intend to send me away. Needless to say, she was furious and in that fury named me Seed-Chained--I can only guess at the full meaning of that--and commanded me to stay. She accused me of many things, and not all of them I deserved. Of always running from responsibility, and of abandoning the man I was supposed to one day marry. But if she believes those things then she does not know me. She does not know Us." 

By this point, Ridahne was getting riled up again, and something about this Ravi fellow made her feel like she could (and should) pour out her soul to him. Secrets would not avail her now. Hot tears streaked her face. "Once again, I make life difficult for myself. If I had known her intentions, I never would have suggested it. And if she knew anything of mine..." her lip quivered. "If she knew how deeply I only wanted someone to find me worth their effort and time...if she had only said that after all I've done and all that I am, she still wanted me, I would have fallen to my knees and kissed her damn boots but NO! NO! Somehow I am forever cursed to always toil bitterly to do what is right and forever cursed to ALWAYS DO IT WRONG. Somehow, no matter what I do, I am always the one to set my own house on fire!" 

She wanted to throw something, or break something, or go for a run, or do something with all this pent up energy but she couldn't. Instead, she fell to her knees and broke down in severely uncharacteristic sobs, clawing at the tilled soil with her slim, calloused hands. She did not wail and was silent except for the occasional sharp intake of breath or sniffle.  "You'll not...speak of this t-t-o anyone. N-not if you have any mercy," she snarled between sobs. "It was for y-your ears only, Ravi. Speak of it to n-n-no one. No one but Darin," she pleaded.