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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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@Inkarnate
Nope! As mentioned previously, the haunts section is effectively you guys telling me what is on the ship, not the other way around! In this way, I hope it will help everyone feel more connected to the Achilles, because they helped make it.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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mickilennial is trying to survive

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@Inkarnate
Nope! As mentioned previously, the haunts section is effectively you guys telling me what is on the ship, not the other way around! In this way, I hope it will help everyone feel more connected to the Achilles, because they helped make it.

Disgusting.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Jarl Coolgruuf
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Jarl Coolgruuf The Mellower

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<Snipped quote by Xanadu>

Spirits approved.

And no rush on the review! I know the joys and excruciating pain of trying to do detailed reviews and feedback for a bunch of applications; the quality you get in turn is worth the time and stress tho


Same here, mine was probably pretty painful to read since I've never tried my hand at an outright edgy character. Gruff? Sure. Grizzled? Often. But Edgelörds™ are not my specialty
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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Disgusting.




And time for Practice Review #2!

@Dervish's


Overall this is a very good sheet!

One aesthetic thing is teal font is kinda hard to read sometimes so you might want to change it, but that's really up to you!

Everything is pretty solid. Really, my only request would to be maybe expand on some of those things that I mentioned in the history section. It isn't completely necessary and I feel that in its current state, the sheet would have no problems standing on its own. But I also think that expanding on those lines of thought and ideas, or even just thinking about them for a bit will help you have a better overall feeling of who Ardan is and where he is coming from!

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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Dervish Let's get volatile

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@Xanadu Thank you for the prompt and through review! I'm surprised it didn't have more points of contention, but I'm glad you enjoyed the character! The bits you suggested I expand upon make a lot of sense, and a lot of that is my bad for failing to consider that I didn't explain or justify a few key points that are rattling around in my skullcase rather than being on the sheet, which was rather near-sighted of me.

To explain some of the bio parts a bit better (that I am gonna edit in, dontcha worry!);
-Ardan's wife was more or less a gold digger who thought he was more affluent and successful than he actually was. She kept the ruse up for several months, never feeling anything for him other than he was a guillible client. When she realized the promised big score was never going to happen, she made her move to clear him out when he was out at a job. Being on Omega, I don't imagine drive thru weddings are legally binding.
-Ardan's desertion I envisioned as being very low-key and not realized until he was out of Citadel space. He made his travel arrangements on leave, so by the time he booked transit out to the Terminus, he'd more or less disappeared and was out of reach.
-I was actually planning on fleshing out his relationship with Casius over the RP; I mainly wanted to introduce the idea they kept in touch. I'll expand upon it in the sheet!
-Thanks for letting me know that teal is hard to read on your screen! It seems okay on mine, I was mainly using it for headers; I won't be colouring dialog, however.

Thanks again! I'll have that all ironed out soonish!
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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Heat
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Heat Hey, nice marmot

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@Xanadu so how much will character classes be taken into acceptance? Im guessing you want some variety?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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@Xanadu so how much will character classes be taken into acceptance? Im guessing you want some variety?


Yeah variety is important, but it is also honestly the least of my concern. This isn't a game where our team comp has to be optimal. Sometimes I find it is more fun to be less optimal actually. But let us say that I have two sheets of identical caliber and one is a Solider and the other is an Engineer. If for example, I'm already looking at accepting three other soldiers and we only have one other engineer, then I'm probably going to be more inclined to go for the engineer. But that being said before that I'm going to go through some other stuff as well like writing ability as shown in previous RPs, the level of commitment they have shown to previous RPs etc as well. So it is far from the deciding factor but will help inform my decision in those rare edge cases.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by spicykvnt
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spicykvnt Sponsored by Yorkshire Gold

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When you realise the Captain and Naryxa will get along;



Also skills for Naryxa....

She know how to pop dat booty. Does that count?
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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Rtron
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Rtron

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@Xanadu I finally got finished with Kopris, and he awaits your early review whenever you've the time and energy!


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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Mao Mao
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Mao Mao Sheriff of Pure Hearts (They/Them)

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@Xanadu

Alright, I have fixed the problems you had with the sheet and added in more info within the sheet. Hopefully, I didn't miss anything else that you wrote down!

EDIT: Also, what do you think of the color? And I might still in add a vice or something. I don't know at the moment.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Prizrak
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Prizrak

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I'm certainly interested and am working on an Engineer sheet currently. I'll try and post a WIP version before the deadline if that's acceptable?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lauder
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Lauder The Tired One

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My application for an infiltrator is coming along rather nicely, hopefully, I'll have something up tomorrow!

Still sad that I can't make the first Hanar Specter, but oh well. Big, Stupid Jellyfish, amirite?
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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@Rtron
Gotcha' expect a review soonish!

@Star Lord
I'll take a quick gander soonish as well to make sure that all the most pressing issues were addressed. And the color is all good!

@Prizrak
That's fine! Though be warned that I'm not going to be likely to delay the applications for a WIP in this case since you have unfortunately displayed interest so late. But I implore you to shoot your shoot and my advice would just be to have that WIP as completely finished as possible!

@Lauder




Also another quick update on my part.

Working on reviews as we speak! I also managed to finish up the sheet for the sweet summer child/complete trashcan fire of a living being that I feel the urge to protect at all costs that is Faena if y'all want to take a gander. Just to give you guys another sample if you still need help in that area!
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lauder
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Lauder The Tired One

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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mickilennial is trying to survive

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I will be devoting most of my freetime in the next few days to getting my sheet done but I'm DMing a Dungeons and Dragons thing tonight. Just keeping everyone up-to-date.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by DJAtomika
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DJAtomika Second to Most

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I should have my sheet up today.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Plank Sinatra
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Plank Sinatra the reaper won't come when you're ready for him

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I've been neck deep in the start of my summer Constitutional Law courses, but I have a part of a CS laid out and when I've submitted my final brief of the week (which'll be tomorrow) I'll be able to get the rest done. Just as an indicator of where I'm at.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Prizrak
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Prizrak

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@Xanadu

Totally understand. I'll have something submitted to you by your deadline.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lauder
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Lauder The Tired One

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Finished up with my totally-not-a-hanar-specter!


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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by DJAtomika
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And here's my sheet! This is my first time writing a krogan and I do think I need some help with his backstory, as I'm still rather unfamiliar with how krogan culture works (blaming me being too into turians). Anyway, say hello to Sully!

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