[hider=To Mother and Father]
[color=#4F97A3] It's me again, the family's resident fuck-up. To answer your previous letter, yes I've been adjusting well, no I haven't been drinking, yes I have made some friends and no it's not that bad out. I've see some combat but it's been brief exchanges of fire where our bullets miss them by a mile and the ones from the other side don't get any closer to us. It was a bit nerve rattling at first I admit with the sounds of shellfire but the Imperials manning the big guns seem to be just as poor shots as the ones using rifles so I'm not really in harm's way. Besides that the only danger I'm in is from dying of boredom. The food is shit and the pay is poor but you know I don't eat much and there's nothing for me to spend my money out here anyway. I'm stationed in Amone right now, a decent sized city in Gallia. I never thought that I'd up working outside Oceania like the rest of the family but who knows? Maybe the White clan is destined to make it's fortune while living amongst the Gallians. It couldn't be any worse than the life we had in Prairie.
It's funny that the Feds only give a shit about me now that I'm wearing a uniform for them. They make sure everyone here has enough food and coffee and water and changes of clothes, but where was all this when we were starving to death? Where were all the nurses and doctors they have running around when I was lying flat on my back on the kitchen table, screaming as some poor novice midwife made push out my daughter? Sometimes I wonder if the Federation doesn't care about all the backwaters and slums in it's possession or if Oceania is the only place that's neglected. It make sense that I was born there. An unwanted child who always seems to mess everything and is only kept around out of some sense of obligation. I feel like that describes me and the land. You don't have to try and refute that, don't worry. I can remember very clearly the yelling and screaming, how you guys would whisper to each other when you thought I was asleep about how I was making everything much harder. The best thing that happened to the three of us when you threw me out to make it on my own.
I don't blame you. I was a stupid girl who ran with a bad crowd and got herself knocked up. I'm quite frankly amazed you dealt with me as long as you did, especially considering I contributed nothing to the household. Thank you. I do have two more asks of you both: First, can you send me the address Johnny, Ed and Mary? I'd like to write to them as well. Secondly, if the worst happens and I die out here (not likely to happen, trust me) please make sure little Liz knows that her mummy loves her. She needs to know that everything I'm doing out here I'm doing for her. Anyway I have to go. All my best to everyone back home.

Victoria [/color]

 
[/hider]
[hider=For My Little Elizabeth]
[color=#4F97A3] Hello my little Lizzy. Obviously you're not going to be reading this anytime soon. In fact there's a a very good chance that I'll be dead when you actually do. But that doesn't really matter to me. Hopefully I can manage to make it another year or so, that should be enough money sent home to keep you and Grandma from having to tighten your belts too much. It's nice having a real paycheck now. I have more than enough cash to give to you and have enough left over to spend on cheap moonshine and dirty pictures that some of the boys draw in exchange for a quick buck. Too much information? Probably. It's nothing you won't hear about later in life, or experience for yourself if you end up being anything like me. I hope you don't in that regard, or at least manage to control yourself. I love you more than you could possibly imagine but having you was incredibly dangerous. At that point in my life the last thing I need was a child. You were a mistake, just like I was.
It might seem harsh for me to tell you this so bluntly, but I would disagree. For years my parents tried to convince me that I was wanted, that my conception had been more than a tragic accident. It was a lie and I knew it. I figured it out from the comments from the other kids my age, whispers that I was a bastard, my mom was a whore and my father a horse, the kinds of hurtful shit you'd expect from children. I went home and asked about it. They hesitated before answering and I knew it was true. That I wasn't wanted, that is. Obviously my father wasn't a horse, it'd be somewhat difficult to write this with hooves I imagine. But part farmyard animal or no, I was still nothing more than a particularly annoying pet. Every time they tried to deny it just hurt worse, like they thought I was too weak to handle the truth. I'm going to ensure that you're not weak, so by the time you read this you can handle it. It's simply a fact. I was drunk and stupid, and the result was you. It doesn't mean I love you any less.
But you must learn not to let anyone walk over you. You likely know by now that I ran with a gang for a time (the Scarlet Slicers we called ourselves, possibly the stupidest name I've ever heard.) I got myself jumped in the next time I saw those kids who taunted me. The biggest one opened his mouth to say something and I silenced him with a brick. Shattered two of his teeth and broke his jaw and nose in a single hit. In an instant I was surrounded, a pack of viciously feral children assaulting me with sticks and fists and chains. I swung back, refusing to go down without a fight because even then I knew that the worst thing one can do is show fear. I fully expected to be beaten to death in that moment but the pack was called off with a shrill whistle. I had impressed the boy in charge of the little group, the one one who I had attacked first, and he took me to see his brother. By the end of the day I was laughing and joking with them. I was still an unwanted bastard child, but I had earned my place in their group.
Why am I sharing that with you? Because you need to know that you can't ever let anyone see your worry or fear. It's perfectly fine to feel these things, in fact they're necessary for survival. But don't ever let someone else know you are or have ever experienced them. It's a sign of weakness, a sign that you are easy prey. You will be torn apart, raped and tossed aside like trash, robbed and shot before being left to die in a ditch. Averting your eyes shows the loan shark that you're an easy mark, the violent thug that you won't put up a fight as he takes what he wants. Flinching when you're barked at means that people can just walk all over you. If you let them think that then you deserve whatever you get. Never forget that.
The first time I killed another person was at the age of 14. I was at a party, completely shit-faced like I usually was, having a good time with my comrades. A rival gang showed up, an all girl group that went by "The Women of Limbo" (I take it back by the way, that's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard) showed up and it got heated. They were a tough group of bitches, they had to be if they wanted to be respected by the male dominated gangs. I had a begrudging respect for them, but that didn't keep me from a picking a fight with them. It's amazing how angry you can make someone if you tell her that her and her friends are all whores that buy their safety with their bodies. As expected one of them stepped. She pushed me, I pushed her back. A crowd gathered, circling so that there was no way out until the fight was over. I turned to smirk at some cute boy as if to show how much of a tough bitch I was when the bottle broke shattered against my face. that's where I go the scar over my eye, the broken glass ripped through flesh and caused blood to pour into my eye.
Half-blinded and screaming in rage I tackled her to the ground and drew my knife from my pocket. The first time I stabbed her it skittered across her ribs, making an ugly scraping sound as it connected with her bones. I can never forget that noise, nor the wet squelches she made as I drove my blade into her chest, stomach and throat. I don't know how many times I stabbed her, just sitting there atop her as I was splashed with hot blood with each thrust. I can remember a red film blocking out everything but her, a piece of meat there for me to carve up. Eventually I was dragged away and given a drink and a new nickname. I was no longer the Bastard, I was Slasher. I wasn't just respected by my crew but all the others as well.
It was a good experience, one that prepared me for war. Had I not be so experienced with violence I likely would have frozen in place when I encountered the armored car. A massive metal beast armed with machine guns and seemingly impervious to everything. I watched my unit get cut in half from the fire of it's guns and crushed under it's wheels. I managed to survive because I crushed my fear deep down inside me. I did the same thing was poison gas flooded the streets of Amone, making people cough violently and choke to death on their own vomit. A dying Imperial soldier tried to rip my protective mask from my face and broke his fingers before crushing his skull with my rifle. The first blow didn't kill him and neither did the second. He was a pulped mess, looking up at me with bloody eyes and a disgusting black cavernous that spewed vomit and blood. A few more good swings and his skull cracked, spilling his brains over the dusty floor.
And that's the kind of world we live in. I deal with it by drinking and fucking anything that moves. You might cope by drawing, or writing, or singing or a thousand other things. All of them are fine, as long you never go soft.

Always loving you, 
Mama Vicky[/color]
[/hider]
The days after the gas attack had passed in a blur of drinking and digging through the pockets of corpses, Vicky doing her best to ignore the bloody vomit that had pooled in the cups of their throats or the scratches in the cobblestone they had left in their last moments of life as they tried to drag themselves to safety. There was no use dwelling on it, she still had to make it through the rest of the war and focusing on the plight of others would just get her killed. 

So she focused on her grave robbing. An Imperial captain’s coat had a lovely flag sewn into the lining, Victoria carefully undoing the stitching and tying it around her neck like a bandana. A elderly Gallian man had the keys to a small house where she found a scattered bills and medal from the armed forces. Had he been a soldier? Or had it been earned by a son that had gotten himself killed? Didn’t matter, the silver and bronze cross was detached from it’s ribbon and pasted to the butt of her carbine. 

A particularly racy picture of some young Francian’s girlfriend was tucked into the band of her rabbit felt hat, along with the skull of a rat that she had boiled clean. It seemed fitting for her to carry the talisman, a charm from the species she felt most at home with.
By the time they had made it to their new camp Private White had managed to scrounge up some paint in shades of midnight black, blood red, and fiery orange and yellow. Her gas mask had saved her life so she figured it deserved some livening up. The drab canvas was decorated with images of bloodied blades and charred bodies, a copy of the flag worn around her neck depicted burning on the side. She was proud of her work, it represented what she was trying so hard to mold herself into. 

As a reward for finishing her art project she decided to sniff out some of that rum she had heard about, carrying the drying mask with her. She found that she had beaten to it by Luke and the bitch that had stubbed a cigarette in her mouth. Or at least she thought the girl had. That night was hazy.

[color=4F97A3]”Oi, cunts.”[/color] she said easily, screwing off the top of her flask so she could refill it.
[hr]
Luke grinned  as he took a drag from his cigarette, his attention fully on his Darcsen drinking buddy. He wasn't sure how long they had been talking as time seemed they sat in that tent for hours, the rum they had been drinking not aiding in keeping track of time. Honestly he didn't mind, it was relaxing.  He looked to the bottle of booze and frowned with flushed cheeks. "They should add booze with our rations, we get shot at almost everyday so the least they could do is put a bottle of the good stuff in our hands when we have some downtime," he muttered before blowing out smoke through his nose. Soon he heard someone calling the two of them cunts and looked over with an arched brow to see a familiarly tall women. He chuckled and rose from his seat, wobbling a bit before lifting up his arms to welcome her. 

[color=a0410d]"Vicky! How nice of you to join us!"[/color] he laughed before plopping down back into his seat, nearly falling and laughing as he fixed himself in his seat. 

[color=a0410d]"Sit down and pass that flask of yours, we're runnin low on our own stuff!"[/color] he grinned before taking another drag from his smoke.
[hr]
Just the most smidge of haze came over the Darcsen woman as another voice made her sonorous announcement, beckoning before the two as if she were royalty. Inès knew roughly who she was, and while she looked up, couldn't help but fixate her eyes on the dashing little photograph Victoria picked up and propped beside her hat. Her eyebrows raised, a bit impressed. Victoria knew how to pick them, apparently.

Inès motioned over, readjusting her cross-legged seating while she straightened her posture once again. Her face coursed over, smidging through words and errant thoughts, ever so fixated on the tale she was telling to her newfound friend.

[color=4682b4]"I was just telling him about my ex."[/color] she explained, looking briefly up at Victoria.
[hr]
Victoria nodded to Luke as she stepped into the cramped quarters, a crooked smiled brightening her scarred face at his greeting.

[color=4f97a3]"Thought I could smell a little bastard taking all the fucking grog! You need to wash up more boy, your scent scares the carrion dogs off 'n' let's the bleeding Imps know just how to find us!"[/color] Her words were harsh but her tone was light, the Oceanic simply greeting her acquaintance in the typical fashion of her culture. More atypical was the warm hug she pulled him as soon as he opened his arms, the taller female embracing the young man tightly and thumping him on the back. She held Luke there for a few tender moments, the mother holding her adopted son in a reassuring grip.

[color=4f97a3]Seems like you've knocked back a few already."[/color] she noted, watching him slip and stumble back to his seat before tossing him the flask. "Fill 'er up barman!" If he wanted to bum a drink off of her he'd be sorely disappointed. Vicky had run dry the day before, all the good whiskey she had saved from the White Hart Inn drained after the gas attack. She noticed the Darscen's gaze falling on the unnamed broad she carried, grabbing her hat by the brim and flinging it towards her. 

[color=4f97a3]"Look all you like, I don't even know her name! Fan of redheads, are you?"[/color] More of their first meeting was coming back to her but Vicky didn't especially care. That was in the past, now they were simply talking. The digger girl leaned up against the tent post, face darkening at the mention of an ex. [color=4f97a3]"I have stories to tell about exes of my own."[/color] she spat hatefully, fingering the brass pendant around her neck.
[hr]
Luke embraced the hug from Victoria with a chuckle as he patted her back and stumbled back into his seat. He looked to the flask with a bit of disappointment before shrugging and poring bit of rum inside. With smirk he happily took a sip from the bottle before handing her back her flask with a nod. Luke watched as she tossed the her hat to Ines before looking back to her leaning on the tent post, the look of hate on her face as she brought up her ex. He couldn't help but chuckle in amusement at the two girls and shook his head. 

[color=a0410d]"I swear, the guys who pissed you off must be insane, or have death wish,"[/color] he said before sighing and taking a drag from his cigarette. 

[color=a0410d]"I feel left out really, never had a lady of my own in my life. Thank god for that, would be to much of a pain to deal with. Especially now..."[/color] he said before leaning back, [color=a0410d]"Wouldn't want another person mourning my dead corpse."[/color] he chuckled bitterly before blowing out a wave of smoke through his nose.

[color=a0410d]"Anyway, exes."[/color] he said before motioning with hand for them to continue their conversations about failed lovers.
[hr]
She prepared herself with a usual comment on Luke's relationship status being an unsurprising revelation, yet out of some newfound courtesy, spared what was to be a light exchange for another time. Yet, what he said just before forced a bit of a wince from the woman. Mourning, so it was. It wasn't an unfamiliar sensation to the Darcsen, not by any metric; For that, Inès seemed not to take to the lightness at which Luke proposed, even if such bravado even she found necessary to get through the discomfort. But his prompt was best taken, for Inès herself nodded in agreement that she continue. Back aligned with the posts, parallel to her seat, she looked over the two, apparently ready to continue.

[color=4682b4]"Exes..."[/color] Inès nodded. A light, strangely nostalgic smile came about her face, shaking her head as the memory made its vivacious marks across her pleasantly consternation expression. As if she only smiled because she knew not whether to kill him or thank him.

[color=4682b4]"Cédric was..."[/color] 

She shook her head. A heavy sigh dragged her body and head down.

[color=4682b4]"God, he was a wreck. He...he used to be so great, and then he would...he'd..."[/color]

[color=4682b4]"He'd come to me, and knock on my tenement door, wake everyone up and he'd yell my name, completely dirt-faced drunk. [i]'Inès! Inès! I'm so sorry! Please don't leave me!'[/i]...and i'd tell him, 'Cédric, you're drunk; I'm not leaving you.', and he'd just..."[/color]

Inès pulled her head up, a crooked frown trying so desperately to crack a smile expressed toward the pair, as she brought up a time she would have rather forgotten.

[color=4682b4]"I remember he'd never let go. And he'd cry. And cry until he didn't have any tears left and he lost his own voice weeping to me...about how nobody cared about him. He'd say, [i]'Even my mom's thought i've lost my mind. She doesn't care about me, Inès...my own mother doesn't care about me!'[/i] And..."[/color]

She huffed.

[color=4682b4]"...It was...it was sad. Because he'd rob and steal just...every. [i]Single. [b]Day.[/b][/i] And...he never saved the money, and just...always got himself into more and more trouble. It was just...it's like watching someone lose their mind, and him just always saying how...I was the only person who mattered. Being the only person he cared about...and knowing that, one day, he would just...kill himself."[/color]
[hr]
Victoria spit on the ground before knocking back a third of the flask's content, seething in contempt for her former partner. [color=4f97a3]"I'll say he fucking does. When this fucking war is over I'm going to find him and slit his throat."[/color] she promised. [color=4f97a3]"And trust me, you're not missing anything. All relationships bring is trouble and unwanted burdens."[/color] Her tone made it clear she was speaking from experience, boot kicking dirt over the puddle of spit she had made. 

[color=4f97a3]"If you ever try to shack up with Diana - like we all know you want to - or any other girl, you make sure you leave on good terms. If I find out you left someone with a bastard to care for. I'll cut your balls off and feed them to you."[/color] There was no malice in her voice, no bravado. It was a promise, a statement of fact like saying the sky was blue. She might have had a soft spot for Luke but she was not going to let him do what had been done to her. 

[color=4f97a3]"Besides, at least you know people who will mourn for you."[/color] Her lecture done Victoria fell silent, taking another drink of rum as Ines spoke. This Cedric she spoke of reminded her of Charles and even herself. The drinking, the stealing, the way they had promised to be there for one another. And then he had taken off, leaving her with a baby and burning hatred that fueled her through this bullshit war. 

[color=4f97a3]"I understand that."[/color] she muttered, [color=4f97a3]"Thinking that you're going to be with someone forever, through thick and thin, only for it to turn into a lie. I met a man named Charles, a two bit thief and card shark. We'd meet every night and I'd give him all the money and valuables I had shaken out of people or taken from them after I shattered some bones. He'd take it and gamble it all away, always saying how just one more win would put us over the edge. Sometimes he won and we'd drink, party and fuck during week long benders. Other times he'd 've lost and we'd scream at each other, throwing things and punching."[/color]

A hand flicked open her necklace, showing Luke and Ines the picture of Elizabeth. 

[color=4f97a3]"This was the final straw. He knocked me up and left me alone with a baby girl and no way to feed her. I did the only thing I could and signed up to be with you fuckers. We all have to live with the consequences of our actions. Better to only deal with those and not weigh yourself down with someone else."[/color]
[hr]
Luke choked and the smoke he had inhaled as Victoria talked about him getting with Diana and coughed, patting his chest with his fist before looking to her with flushed cheeks, though that was still thanks to the booze. 

[color=a0410d]"Like I'd ever be with her. That little girl isn't my type,"[/color] he said, though he looked away with a bit of embarrassment. He held up his hands as she threatened him if he ever left, and chuckled. 

[color=a0410d]"Easy, mama bear. I'm a dick, but I'd never do [i]that."[/i][/color] he declared before taking a sip from the bottle. Silently he listened to the two talk about their failed lovers and could only shake his head and scoff with a smirk. [color=a0410d]"Jeez, and here I was feeling left out about being single. You two make being in love to be a shit deal. I may never fall in love at this rate!"[/color] he chuckled as he inhaled the fumes from his cigarette. As Victoria showed them the picture of her kid Luke paused for a moment, staring at the picture with a small frown. A loud groan escaped him before he rubbed his face and chuckled bitterly. 

[color=a0410d]"I hate this shit; the love talk,"[/color] he scoffed before spitting to the side, [color=a0410d]"Every time I hear someone talk about it, I can't help but get annoyed. I just don't get it sometimes, how you two could have stuck around pieces of shit like that. There's no possible way that love was worth it, was it?"[/color] he questioned before sighing rubbing his chin. 

[color=a0410d]"Call me a dick all you want, just sounds pointless..."[/color] he said and leaned forward before clutching his hands together, trying to get his mind around it. It could have been the booze talking, but after hearing the two talk about their failed loves, it sounded ridiculous to stay. 

[color=a0410d]"I'd rather just focus on killin' Imps than who I want to love."[/color] he stated. inhaling another wave of smoke into his lungs.
[hr]
To her left was a man - doubtlessly one who'd never felt anything so much more than the bare minimum of comradery - who so readily denounced love and would rather take up murder as an occupation than those of loving another. To her right was a mother - one Inès didn't question would grow to be an embittered scowl, at this rate - eager to slit the throat of a dead man for the sake of someone she said slighted her just weeks ago. Could she shake her head? It'd be pointless. No reason with reasoning, it seemed, and for whatever sense this war could make, others so readily rejected while they went about their days. Inès mulled the two over, indecisive as to whether or not she found herself in good company.

[color=4682b4]"No."[/color] she answered, staring split down the middle from the two's positions, as if addressing both their proclamations, [color=4682b4]"I loved Cédric a lot. And...I knew that he was hopeless. But, I tried. And we had fun. So...no. I don't regret it, actually."[/color]

The sight of a young earthhead still lingered around Inès' mind; Victoria was evidently younger than her, apparent even through her numerous scars and snarls. She was already raising one of her own, or, failing that, making an attempt to. Yet...

Inès looked up at Victoria, a soft gaze in her stare. They did not beg, for the showed no water nor wavering in their steadfast posture. Nor did they command, as their vibrant color and directed focus did dictate. Instead, they kindly asked - like that of the mother Victoria wanted to be - for her to put aside her anger

[color=4682b4]"You know...my mother was about the same age as you when she had me."[/color] the Darcsen commented.
[hr]
[color=4f97a3]"You and that [b]'little girl'[/b] are the poster children for will they, won't they."[/color] Vicky snickered, very much amused by Luke's spluttering reaction, [color=4f97a3]"I bet you get hard every time you think about her! And I can't blame you."[/color]

That crooked smile had returned, a sign that she was just trying to get a rise out of him. It seemed like she had gotten her wish, the Oceanic chuckling as Luke looked away. [color=4f97a3]"I hope not."[/color] the "mama bear" responded, [color=4f97a3]"But you'd do well to avoid children in general. It's not a burden you take on lightly."[/color] 

She shrugged at his proclamation that love was worthless, not feeling particularly strongly about the statement either way. She only had her own experience to go off of, and that didn't exactly give her a bright view. But then again, she was one person of untold multitudes throughout history. It seemed rash to decide one way or another based off such a small sample size. 

[color=4f97a3]"I'd be willling to bet that what I had wasn't love. It was on my end, but he certainly didn't love me"[/color]

Victoria simply listened as Ines's shared that she didn't regret her past relationship. It wasn't her place to judge. For all she knew this Cedric had been the best person on the planet in all of history. If Ines wanted to hold onto memories of a man she had left or lost that was her decision, albeit one that she couldn't understand. Why would you want to hold onto the past like that? Surely it just hurt, constantly going over what one used to have or what could have been? The only reason she still thought about Charles was because he made a useful goal. Once she made it out of the war and her daughter had some money saved away she could track the piece of shit down and murder him. She stared back as Ines looked up at her, somewhat perturbed by the softness in her eyes. 

[color=4f97a3]"If you're going to stare at anyone like that try the broad in the picture."[/color] she joked halfheartedly, only for the words to die on her lips. 

[color=4f97a3]"The same age I am now? Or do you mean sixteen, when I got pregnant. Either way...I'm so sorry."[/color]

If her mother was anything like Victoria, growing up must have been a real struggle for Ines.
[hr]
Lukes cheeks grew warmer as Victoria continued to talk about him and Dian before scoffing slightly, knowing she was just trying to get a rise out of him. Sad thing was she was doing a good job of it. Luckily Ines gained his attention as she stated not regretting being with Cédric and shrugged. 

[color=a0410d]"Good for you then, no regrets is always nice/"[/color] he said with a nod before glancing to Victoria as she stated what she wasn't love. From what she said about the relationship he wasn't to surprised, sounded toxic. Luke tensed up for a moment though as Ines brought her mother, a small frown crawling onto his face. He shook his head and scoffed. 

[color=a0410d][i]"Mothers..."[/i][/color] he spat with a bit of venom, a flash of disgust on his face. Ever since he walked into this city he's seen more and more of that witch in his dream, or even in the shadows from the corners of his eyes. That soulless bitch was still haunting him and causing several sleepless nights, even when there was no fighting. 

[color=a0410d]"Even that [b]word[/b] sounds meaningless..."[/color] he muttered with a scowl before taking another sip of rum.
[hr]
Inès discharged Victoria's pity with a tilt of her head. Even Luke seemed distraught at the turn of tone, reaching straight for the bottle at the mere suggestion of such talks. Such a topic Inès could go on for, endlessly charading and beloving her mother as effortlessly as breathing may have been. Yet, there was no use in opening up wounds while they had yet to recover from those most recently patched, and so it was that Inès looked about her company and decided a bit of change was necessary.

[color=4682b4]"Don't worry about it."[/color] she assured Victoria, inspecting what remained of a nearby rum bottle before washing a light drink down with a coarse cough, [color=4682b4]"She has a lot of problems, but...we get along."[/color]

[color=4682b4]"Though..."[/color] 

Inès sighed, placing her hands upon her knees as she set the bottle to her side. A few nods repeat themselves, taking passes at both Luke and Victoria while her lips purse in reflection.

[color=4682b4]"...out of all the love i've had..."[/color]

[color=4682b4]"...it's worth it for the sex."[/color]
[hr]
Vicky nearly snorted at Luke's apparent disgust at the very concept of motherhood. Did he just have issues with all women? That seemed unlikely considering that he was talking to two of them with relative civility. Whatever  it was it clearly eating him up inside. 

[color=4f97a3]"I guess fatherhood really isn't for you, then."[/color] she stated dryly, finally dropping into a low crouch scratching at her leg. [color=4f97a3]"And I'm glad you're able to talk to her. I wish I still had that with my parents."[/color] The muffled snort escapes at Ines's final reflection, Victoria nodding in agreement. 

[color=4f97a3]"That's fucking right!"[/color] she crowed, [color=4f97a3]"I might have fucked myself over, but I had fun doing it!"[/color] 

The alcoholic turned back to Luke, cocking her head in curiosity. [color=4f97a3]"So if it's not Diana - which I don't believe for a goddamn second - then who is it? Who are you hoping will pin you to the wall and make you man up?"[/color]
[hr]
Luke glanced to Victoria as she mentioned something about fatherhood and shrugged. He had no idea if he had what it took to be a father, but there was no reason to worry about it now. The war was where his focus should be on. He nodded towards Ines as she said she was still in a good relationship with her mother and silently envied her to have a mother that didn't hate her guts. 

As Luke sighed and let the two talk, he arched a brow and glanced to Ines as she said the sex was worth it. He chuckled in amusement before inhaling his cigarettes fumes into his lungs, the nicotine satisfying in calming his nerves. Unfortunately his calmed nerves didn't last long as Victoria asked who it was going to take to make him a man. His cheeks grew bright red at the question and looked away with a frown. 

[color=a0410d]"I-I don't have anyone in mind, I just need to focus on work."[/color] he declared, though silently he thought about her question and her mentioning Diana. That little firecracker of girl who kept giving him a hard time was his first kiss, but that didn't mean anything... Right? He shook his head as he remembered that night in the Inn and ignored the rapid beating in his heart before looking to Victoria and Ines, hoping to switch the question on them. 

[color=a0410d]"What about you two, huh?! Who out of the squad got your eyes?"[/color] he questioned with a frown, wanting to steer himself away from giving an actual answer to her question.
[hr]
Inès glared at him.

[color=4682b4]"The [i]entire Inn[/i] could hear Franz and I fucking in the bathtub, and Freya and I weren't much quieter, either."[/color] Inès answered promptly. Booze confidence be damned, for it turned Inès into an unashamed monster at this pace.

[color=4682b4]"If you don't like anyone, fine, but don't give us wishy-washy answers and not expect us to ask questions when we're trying to help."[/color]
[hr]
Luke's evasiveness didn't go unnoticed by Victoria either, the Oceanic taking a drink of rum before answering. 

[color=4f97a3]"Fuck, let's go down the list: I already fucked Diana as you well know, Jean's not bad looking, who [b]doesn't[/b] want to fuck Thomas?...Ines here seems fun, and I'd bet that I'd enjoy ruining you for any other girl."[/color] She had nothing to hide. Hopefully the way she had said it all so nonchalantly would rattle him some. 

[color=4f97a3]"Now, back to you. Who're you keeping an eye on? No half-answers, or me and Ines will hold you down until you tell us."[/color]
[hr]
Luke flinched a bit as Ines told him her and Franz had been together, news to him since he was to drunk that night to know. [color=a0410d]"I-I... uh..."[/color] he wasn't able to speak much more after she gave him a hard time not answering the question, wincing as she said they were only trying to help him. He frowned and scoffed. 

[color=a0410d]"I didn't ask for help..."[/color] he muttered before looking to Ines began to run down a list of people that had her eye, though he didn't listen to most of them. He stopped listening after she said she had sex with Diana. His eyes widened a bit in surprise, again another set of unheard news. He stared at her for a few seconds, the fact they had slept together forming a ball of unknown emotions in his gut. Was he... bothered by it? No, he couldn't be. Why would he, Diana was just a comrade. It had to be the rum, that the only explanation. His face was clearly bothered by the fact they were together and tried to look away, a frown on his face. 

[color=a0410d]"I... I didn't know you two were together."[/color] he muttered as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  Soon a heavy sigh escaped him as the two continued to pry themselves into the topic and held up his hands to calm them down. [color=a0410d]"Fine, fine, relax."[/color] he said before rubbing his scared cheek. 

[color=a0410d]"I-I guess...you two are okay. Not that bad on looks and easy to talk to, well...[i]sometimes[/i] easy to talk to."[/color] he said glancing up at the two with narrowed eyes before looking back down with red cheeks. He paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing. 

[color=a0410d]"D-Diana too, I guess..."[/color] he added, rubbing the back of his neck with a groan. [color=a0410d]"Man, you two sure are nosey aren't ya'?[/color]"
[hr]
The Darcsen woman giggled at Luke's final confession, watching the perfect crescendo as his face turned more and more red the more the two went down their list of sex. Although, to Inès at least, it came as little surprise that Luke fancied the sandhead - she knew of two good reasons why - finally nodding to Luke's declaration of interest. 

It didn't help Luke's case that he had made the incredible play of making racist sentiments against Darcsens, then making offhand comments about Inès in nice clothing, then that of either romantic or sexual interest in her. Perhaps luckily for the young man, Inès had no intention of touching the dirthead with a 50 meter pole, nevermind letting him inside her. She even seemed to shudder at the notion. All in good faith, of course.

[color=4682b4]"So you like dark-haired girls, awkward rich girls, and tough girls?"[/color] Inès smirked back at him, the light imbibement already forcing her to tease him a smidge.

[color=4682b4]"Diana has a fucking [b]big pair[/b] on her..."[/color]
[hr]
Vicky was glad to see that her words had the intended effect on Luke although she was confused that Luke didn't know that she and Diana had slept together. Hadn't the silly girl invited him? She had told her that she was welcome to. Apparently, she hadn't, or maybe Luke had just she was bluffing. Either way it was clearly a shock to him and Victoria decided to seize on it.

[color=4f97a3]"She's so fucking cute in bed! Inexperienced obviously, but very eager to learn. And she's a screamer."[/color] When the boy admitted that he was attracted to her and Ines she stood up and held the edge of her fatigues, giving him a little curtsy, [color=4f97a3]"Why thank you Luke. You're not exactly awful looking yourself."[/color] When he finally said Diana's name she clapped her hands in mock excitement, [color=4f97a3]"It's a miracle! The man can tell the truth!"[/color]

She nodded vigorously at Ines's assessment of Diana's chest. [color=4f97a3]"I would know! You have to see them to believe them, they're fucking [b]huge[/b] on her tiny frame! I can try and get you a picture next time if you'd like?"[/color]
[hr]
Luke's cheeks only continued to grow red as Ines began to tease him on his answers and looked away with a frown, huffing through his nose in slight annoyance. He glanced to Victoria as she started to talk about Diana in bed, looking away with a sour frown as she went on. This wasn't supposed be a big deal, who cares if they did it? Was no skin off his back. It still bothered him for some reason though. He clicked his tongue in annoyance before taking a sip from the bottle. Luke looked back to Victoria as she said he wasn't bad looking and chuckled lightly before rubbing the scars on his right cheek. 

[color=a0410d]"I'd say this doesn't help with my looks, unless people are into it."[/color] he said before frowning as she said him telling the truth was miracle. [color=a0410d]"Not like I had much of a choice..."[/color] he muttered bitterly before ruffling his hair with a groan as they began to talk about Diana's chest. He tried to ignore the two with the frown, the more they talked about it the deeper his frown got. He glanced to Victoria as she offered to get a picture of them and shook his head. 

[color=a0410d]"No, I don't need a picture. I also don't need to bother with getting with anyone because I didn't come here to hook up. I came to fight, simple as that."[/color] he said before letting out a frustrated sigh and rubbing the back of his neck. 

[color=a0410d]"Besides, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm... I'm not sure if I ever will..."[/color] he muttered before lowering his head and scratching his chin as he thought on the whole conversation. 

[color=a0410d]"Jeez, this whole conversation is a mess..."[/color]
[hr]
Now, Inès would be a lying woman if she said she didn't take pleasure in this conversation. Perhaps it was a far cry from, 'a day with the girls', true, but the relaxed, nonchalant discussion of their sex lives was always a bit of a raunchy and fun topic, but that seemed limited to only Victoria and herself. Truth be told once again, she couldn't quite admit that seeing Luke brought so low as when not weeks ago he so readily dismissed Darcsens as wholly villainous was not even slightly intriguing to note. Yet Inès harbored little bitterness towards the earthhead, and seeing low remark after low remark, coupled with his sullen, hunched demeanor as he secluded himself further and further into his shell, she didn't particularly enjoy his more retracted expression. 

Inès frowned. Her hand reached to Luke, nodding along in sympathy to his plight. 

[color=4682b4]"You're not a bad guy."[/color] she comforted, shrugging to Luke's self-demeaning claims.

[color=4682b4]"You're an idiot, and you can be a jerk sometimes, and you're a know-it-all, and you said Darcsens were perfect for living in blown-out holes in the ground, and you could use a few more centimeters down there..."[/color]

[color=4682b4]"...but you're not bad. And..."[/color] Inès snickered. She realized she wasn't off to the greatest of starts, sure, but what was a little brutal honesty to the fearless Luke Godfrey?

[color=4682b4]"You're kind of sweet."[/color]
[hr]
[color=4f97a3]"Hey, you got a problem with scars?[/color]" Victoria asked cheekily, jutting her chin out so that Luke could take a good look at the one that was carved across her face. [color=4f97a3]"The marks don't matter, it's how you carry them."[/color] She lifted a sleeve to show her friend the wounds left by shrapnel before brushing aside her hair so he could get a good look at the chunk of her ear that was missing. [color=4f97a3]"If scars were what made men ugly, I'd be shit out of luck myself."[/color] She snickered when the young man talked about how he wouldn't know what to do. 

[color=4f97a3]"Luke, no one does when they first try. It's instinctive, animal-like. We put you in a bed with Diana and you'll figure it out right quick."[/color] The Oceanic laughed as she spoke, gulping down another portion of rum and wiping her mouth with the Imperial flag around her neck. 

Vicky nodded at Ines's evaluation of him, agreeing with everything she said. [color=4f97a3]"You have the emotional intelligence of a sheep in rut, but you're not evil."[/color] she said not unkindly, [color=4f97a3]"And you're not lacking [i]that[/i] much down there, you learn a bit of technique and you'll be good. Besides, once you stop acting like a moron you're quite nice to talk to."[/color]
[hr]
Luke chuckled as Victoria questioned what was wrong with scars before showing off her own. He examined them with curiosity before snickering a bit as as she mentioned throwing him in the a bed with Diana to figuring things out. 

[color=a0410d]"Like I said before, not happening; Work comes first."[/color] he stated before taking a drag from his smoke. 

He arched a brow as he heard Ines tell him he wasn't a bad guy and glanced up to her in curiosity, not expecting that from her. He chuckled lightly as she began to list down his flaws, each one making his smirk grow more in amusement. It was true he had a lot of them and honestly he didn't care  enough it got him into trouble. Made things interesting. He chuckled as she called him sweet before rolling his eyes. 

[color=a0410d]"Sure I am."[/color] he said with a sarcastic tone, though a small smile rested on his face as he silently appreciated her attempts to lift his spirits. 

Luke looked to Victoria as she threw in her two cents about him and couldn't help but laugh in amusement before shaking his head with a grin. [color=a0410d]"Well, I guess it's good to know I'm not a [i]complete[/i] lost cause."[/color] he said before leaning back in his seat with a heavy sigh. [color=a0410d]"I need to get out of this camp and back to work before I start to get to chummy with you two..."[/color] he chuckled with a grin before ruffling his hair with a sigh. He was definitely starting to feel useless sitting in this camp when there was still a city that needed to be taken.
[hr]
Luke exuded his restlessness in every mannerism he displayed, from how he constantly mentioned wanting to resume "labor" to how he so blatantly listed off his priorities. Inès half-smirked, wondering for a moment if Luke possessed either impeccable work ethic, or if he was just a glory hound, looking for something to tell his folks back home. She shook her head. Inès met a lot of Lukes throughout her months-long military career. She sent flowers to their graves every month.

[color=4682b4]"A lot of 'work' is waiting for something to happen."[/color] Inès told Luke, [color=4682b4]"Rest up. Otherwise, you might end up being a psychopath like Victoria."[/color]
[hr]
Victoria wondered is Luke actually believed what he was saying or if he was just bluffing like she was. He acted awfully interested in their shared "work", did he have a vendetta against the Imperials?  Or maybe he was just loyal to the Federation. Or he maybe the only way he could get off was with a gun in his hands; Vicky had met plenty of guys like that during her time in the service. 

[color=4f97a3]"Why do you care?"[/color] she asked finally, [color=4f97a3]"About the war, I mean. Why does it matter so much to you? Do you just like violence?"[/color] She gave a good-natured middle finger to Ines, but didn't refute the point. That was basically what she herself was worried about. [color=4f97a3]"Seriously, I said it once and I'll say it again: the army is not the right place for you, it's for fuck-ups like me who can't do anything else. You should leave as soon as you can."[/color]
[hr]
A chuckle escaped Luke as Ines suggested just resting while he can shook his head. [color=a0410d]"Rest? I've been working non-stop since both my parents passed, there's no way I'm gonna start now. Can't afford to."[/color] he said with a heavy sigh as he thought back on most of his childhood. It was filled with nothing but hardships and back breaking work. Hardly any fun, or joy. Just an endless spiral of pent up anger and remorse. 

The only thing he had to look forward to were his sisters. Luke was brought out of his thoughts as Victoria caught him off guard with the question of why he cared about the war so much. He shook his head as she asked if it was the violence. 

[color=a0410d]"No of course not, I... I just wanted to do something else with my life, to be more than a damn peasant farmer."[/color] he said before feeling a small frown come onto his face as she began to talk again, telling him he shouldn't be here, that he didn't belong there. He shook his head and scoffed in annoyance. 

[color=a0410d]"Ya' know what?"[/color] he muttered before rising from his seat with a heavy frown on his face and set his hardened gaze onto her. [color=a0410d]"I'm tired of hearing that shit, that I don't belong here! How the hell do you know where I belong!? Huh?! I'm tired of hearing of what people think I should do with my life, saying I'm not cut out for this! Fuck that!"[/color] he spat before smacking his chest roughly. 

[color=a0410d]"I'm here to make my mark on the world, to show everyone that I follow my own path! So if I end up dead so be it! I signed up knowing full well I'll most likely die in this fucking war so at least I can die happy knowing I died following my own path!"[/color] he finished, his fist clutched tightly before letting out a heavy sigh and falling back into his seat. The booze must be fueling him on, but it felt good to get that out.
[hr]
[color=4682b4]"Luke. Shut up."[/color]

Inès commanded him staunchly, a scowl on her face stronger that would make a drill sergeant avert their eyes. She held up two fingers, almost ready and poised to silence whatever attempt to speak up, and another open palm Luke could correctly guess that Inès would be more than happy to reacquaint with his face.

[color=4682b4]"Listen to yourself. Is that what you want? To die? Do you want to go back home to your sisters, and tell them, "I joined the war so I could die."?"[/color] Inès didn't shake her head. She kept her ironclad glare steadily upon the frustrated young man, almost as if she created a steady haze above Luke's head that forced him down like a sad dog.
[hr]
Victoria didn't respond verbally as Luke launched into his tirade, content to let him him stand up and pound his chest like a big man. He was nowhere near the scariest man that had tried to intimidate her. She simply stood up herself, rising to her full height and tucking her flask. 

[color=4f97a3]"That's fucking right, some real emotion!"[/color] she crowed, [color=4f97a3]"Anger is so much better than self-deprecation, lets you know you're a killer! C'mon Luke, if you wanna scrap, let's go for it! I won't even try to dodge the first hit!"[/color] This had taken an interesting turn. Maybe the army [i]was[/i] the right place for him with the way he just suddenly went off. But then it left him, Vicky watching the man fall back into his seat with a huff. And just when she thought she had met someone with some balls...

[color=4f97a3]"Ah c'mon, leave him alone."[/color] she said to Ines, [color=4f97a3]"It's good when someone is honest about their life. I'm in the same boat as him, if I die here it doesn't matter. I guess we're alike in some ways, just a pair of cunts that aren't good for anything else."[/color] She wasn't drunk off alcohol, intoxicated by the rush of meeting another rat. A pair of scavengers that didn't fit in polite society.
[hr]
Luke scoffed towards Victoria as she began to look more than willing to fight him. Honestly at the moment it seemed like a good idea to blow off more steam through his fist, but he knew it was the rum getting him all riled up. It'll only get him in more trouble.  He noticed Ines's iron like glare directed towards him and scoffed as she began to ask if it was really what he wanted, if he wanted to die and leave his sisters behind. 

[color=a0410d]"N-no, I just... I cant pretend anymore. To be happy with my life, that nothing bothers me. So...I thought if I were to die, I'd at least die setting an example for my sisters that they can do whatever they want with their lives..."[/color] he said before hanging his head and ruffling his hair. 

He chuckled as he heard Victoria spoke up again, saying they were both not good for anything else. [color=a0410d]"I guess so..."[/color] he smirked before raising his head and letting a drained grin roll into his face. [color=a0410d]"I just dont give a damn anymore. I've stopped caring a long time ago, ever since...she..."[/color] he paused for a moment, his grin falling as he began to feel an ungodly chill run up his spine, as if someone ran their frozen finger tips along his spine. Then, in a brief moment he heard a chilling whisper before snapping out of it, realizing he had spaced out for a moment. He shook his head before rubbing his face. 

[color=a0410d]"N-never mind, let's just drop it..."[/color] he muttered before pulling out another cigarette to light and inhale.
[hr]
A steady glare passed over Luke, Inès' rough eyes watching the same fate, over, and over, and over pass over with no indication it would go much differently. Pulses tingled through her back, begging that she reflexively retract, no matter how much it may disrupt her current comfort. Not much was worse than seeing the same story prevail, the cautionary tales strung by veterans falling upon ears deafened by naïveté. Yet, it is in everything left unspoken where tragedy is made.

But what was there left for Inès to say?

The dirtheaded mother didn't help. Many of the survivors seldom did, even as was their apparent duty to guide those more or less fortunate to have fewer experiences behind them. Victoria had an interesting clamor for life - one shared by the many experts, adherents, or lovers of their lives of ill-coincided adventure - and one Inès, too, saw before. Violette never was much of one for helping others find their way, too.

She sighed. Two broken, dreary eyes aged twenty years in an instant, and that fractured, breathy resignation from Luke and Victoria signified disappointment full well. Inès stood, positioning her hands forth, like a pose to a presidential address, even, dropping, waving, fidgeting, twitching while she found and lost so many of the wrong words to say at the right moment.

[color=4682b4]"...fine."[/color] was all she could sputter out, bearing an unusual heaviness within the flowery Francian accent.

[color=4682b4]"See you later."[/color]

Inès left the space for the two. With any luck, Victoria might be able to be a mother for once. Inès didn't hold her breath.
[hr]
Victoria sadly as Luke admitted that he had intended to die, or at least had expected to. It always made her sad to see people who had potential following the same path she had written herself into. It was a little irrational to decide that he could do better with his life based off such little experience together, but she knew his story. Anyone who could go through what he had while caring for two young sisters had the strength to do whatever they put their mind to. She wanted to embrace him again as he cut himself off, guessing at who "She" was. Vicky couldn't blame him for changing the subject, keeping her mouth shut as Ines stared at them with... disappointment? Or was it just disgust? It was hard to tell.

The Oceanic watched the Francian female stand up and fidget with her hands, waving a lazy goodbye as her acquaintance left the tent. [color=4f97a3]"Have a good one."[/color] she called back, turning to face Luke. The mother didn't say anything to her adopted son, simply crouching back down and looking at him. She held the awkward pause for a moment before pulling him into another tight hug, one arm wrapped around his waist while the other dragged a blanket up and around them. 

[color=4f97a3]"Shut up and cuddle with me."[/color] she ordered, not willing to leave him alone with his thoughts for the time being.
[hr]
A long heavy sigh escaped Luke as he ran a hand through his messy hair, his mind and body suddenly feeling so exhausted. How did it come to this? He had been laughing and talking not to long ago. Now here he was, feeling as if he had just been thrown down a flight of stairs.  He took a healthy drag from his cigarette before hanging his head and holding his suddenly aching  head.  Soon he heard Ines rise and glanced up to her only to see a gaze of disappointment directed towards him. He showed no reaction to the gaze, but it did make him feel lower than he already was. Weaker. He looked back down towards the grounded and nodded before inhaling more smoke into his lungs. "Thanks for the rum," he muttered with a weak voice, any type of boldness or confidence no where to be seen. As she left he let himself become consumed into the silence that filled the tent. It felt so comforting, being alone in his thoughts. His lonely mind being the only place he's felt safe. Soon though he noticed a figure grow closer from the comer of his eye and prepared himself to be tormented by the visions his beaten mind haunts him with. It never came though, instead he was pulled forward and welcomed into a comforting warmth that only tightened around him. Luke tensed for a moment, not understanding what was happening at the moment, but as a blanket was pulled over him and Victoria's familiar voice reached his ears. His tensed body quickly relaxed and let his cigarette fall to the ground.

He gave no resistance to Victoria's hug and let himself sink deeper into her embrace, resting his heavy head on her shoulder. So much weight was taken off his body and mind as he rested with Victoria, a heavy breath of relief leaving his nostrils. His eyes began to grow heavy and his breathing became steady, but before he closed his eyes to rest his mind he saw a blurry black figure linger in the shadowy corner of the tent and held Victoria's shirt tightly. 

[color=a0410d][i]"She won't leave..."[/i][/color] he whispered in a shaky voice before finally falling asleep, a warm embrace ensuring him he was no longer alone.