The slam of the instrument case felt somehow expected and Ridahne didn't even look up. But the sudden crash of crockery against the wall made even her jump, and she turned to stare at her companion with wide eyes. That was the kind of thing she would have expected herself to do, not Darin. Not quiet, reserved Darin. She was no stranger to the raised voices and the intensity of the conversation either, just...not from her. 

Admittedly, a lot of what she had to say surprised her a bit. She had always been told the tree prevented evil. Yet Ridahne had seen evil. She had seen a lot of it. And she had questioned the Tree in her youth many times. But somehow knowing it made it feel more...important.  But her words did answer some of her questions about why she'd been given that vision, why she'd been sent on this insane journey. At least she knew, sort of. 

"They have LAWS, Darin, laws that have to be upheld! What were they supposed to do, wash the blood off my hands and then sit me down in Khaltira-Sol's chair and put me in her place as thanks for MURDERING her? Let's not forget the two other people I slaughtered!" Her voice was raised but it lacked the fire of true rage. Darin had seen that before and this was not it. This was frustration, but not bitter, fiery rage. Ridahne's eyes locked onto hers unflinchingly. "I will make no apologies for it. I'd do it again. And again, and again, and AGAIN if that's what I had to do. But the fact of the matter is I murdered people." There was no guilt in her eyes, no pity. "I came in the night and slit their throats. They did not order my death to defend Khaltira-Sol. They ordered my death because that is what you do to a murderer. What else could they do? You forget also that they forgave my execution in order to send me  here. They could have killed me anyway. But they didn't. I hold nothing against them for that. And   if I can let that go, so can you." 

Ridahne caught her breath. But she kept going. If they were going to talk, then by the Tree, she was going to. "I did not try to give you honor for the sake of honor. I tried to give it to you because you are earning it. You are not perfect and neither am I," she said with a bit of a laugh. She knew that all too well. "But like it or not, whether you're aiming for it or not, by the end of this you will have earned honor. Is honor given for the right reasons really so abhorrent to you? Darin, I see so much promise and hope in you, but black skies, you frustrate me sometimes! And I don't know what you WANT from me! I keep my mouth shut and you are upset with me for not being open. So I speak, and you don't like what you hear. And I'm sorry," she began, her voice a little raised but again lacking the heat of real anger. "I know I am not the easiest person to be with. 'Aggressive' is a kind word for what I am. I get it. And I'm sorry." And she meant it. Ridahne had a lot of thoughts and feelings, and none of them could be summarized so neatly into either 'good' or 'bad' feelings. She just had them, and right now they were all tumbling out at once in a disjointed mixture of respect, frustration, thoughtfulness and a desire for reconciliation. 

Though Ridahne never rose from her seat, she seemed to sink a little further into it again. She put one elbow on the table and rested her forehead against the heel of her palm. She sighed deeply. "I don't even know what point I was trying to make. Typical Azurei--just start yelling until something makes sense." She shook her head, perhaps at her own folly and eventually said, 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I'm sorry for being so damn difficult--I am. You can say it." A tiny smile pulled at the corner of her lips. "I'm sorry for snapping at you all the time. You don't deserve it. I hope I can be better. I hope we can be better, you and I. I have never wanted to be at odds with you. I still don't." 

Ridahne meant it. From the depths of her soul, she meant every word. She just hoped Darin would see her earnestness. She really did want things to be better between them, though she was still figuring out how. Somewhere in her mind she was trying to remind herself of what Ravi told her of the two of them being more alike than either realized, and she held on to that quiet notion.