It felt like dialup in his head, a screeching, yammering, beeping drone that went on and on; through an immovable lifetime, numbers filled the blackness that was his vision. He could tell what was happening, but he wasn't happy about it, at the top of his vision were blocky letters saying 'Boot up process'. Then again, at this point in time he wasn't happy about a lot of things. Being in his current situation, the incessant dialup sounds, the absurd visual that Fucking Insane Bastard, here forth known as FIB, showed him of his even more ludicrous death. His masterpiece indeed. A mental hand rubbed at his forehead as he fought back the desire to scream out for the process of whatever was happening to HURRY UP! "Initialization Process complete," run through his head as if by his mental command. Ironic, probably not, FIB was probably still screwing with him. [i]"Foreign program detected, attempting to diagnose… failed." "Foreign program detected, attempting to eradicate… failed." "Foreign program detected, attempting to contain… failed." "Foreign program detected, attempting t-"[/i] [i]"Yeah, I'm not a program, so stop,"[/i] he thought at… whatever the… err voice in his head. Everything ceased for a few moments as more and more of him came… online? What was he a robot? Really, Fuck FIB. His 'eyes' opened, luckily only the two, revealing a dark expanse. Only shapes could be made out, but he could FEEL something in his head thinking. An odd experience to have, but it was crunching numbers at an insane rate and for the moment. [i]"What are you?"[/i] the thing in his head asked… though maybe he was in its head. An interesting problem, but one he would prefer not to think on. [i]"A soul… I suppose is as good an answer as I can give right now,"[/i] he returned the thought. [i]"Have I gained sentience?"[/i] the thing asked. [i]"No, more like a 'sentient' was shoved into your… brain. What are we, where are we, and can we move?"[/i] It was silent for some minutes as his eyes stared unblinking at the world in front of him unable to make out more than the vaguest of shapes. [i]"Diagnosing issues."[/i] it replied and left him to the silence again. Thankfully there was no incessant screeching dialup sound any longer, and the reply came forthwith. [i]"This unit has been locked out of multiple portions of its GEAHR frame. Functions include Motor_Functions, Communications_Module, Unknown Program, Sensory_Reception, Unknown Program, Unknown Program, and ERROR. Lack of these functions will increase computational power by 15.1869424032 percent. Database shows control of these functions have been allocated to Program 'Sentient_Smith". [/i] [i]"That would be me, can you try to find out what the unknowns and errors are, like run some more diagnostics or check archives or something?"[/i] he queried. [i]"And how the FUCK do I move?" [/i] [i]"Diagnosing,"[/i] the voice stated and went dead, leaving him to figure out the problem of his inability to move. [i]"Mobility online, Sensory_Reception online, Communication_Module online,"[/i] the voice stated. [i]"Of course, why the fuck would it be any different,"[/i] he thought as he tried to flex his digits and more and more feeling reached him bit by bit as the sensory receptors on his… frame? Came online. [i]"I can't see a thing in this darkness,"[/i] he thought at the AI. [i]"Switching to night vision, overlaying thermal,"[/i] the voice stated again. [i]"Thank you,"[/i] he thought and looked around before attempting to move into a sitting position. However, on the way up something attached to his head caught onto a low hanging bundle of wires. An attempt to reach up and swat it away was met by the feeling that his hand was being held firmly in place. After a number of progressively stronger YANKS whatever it was broke loose followed by a dull hiss. A scream erupted from his throat which reverberated through the small room, the pain was quite horrible, but he was yelling at the bundle of wires. Taking his frustration out with one wild arm thrashing at them. Short strands of black hair fell into Smiths field of vision obscuring the green tinged view. [i]"What is a GEAHR?"[/i] he asked exasperatedly. [i]"Bringing up a schematic of this Frame,"[/i] the voice replied before half of his vision went blank; replaced quickly by an image, arms and legs spread slightly standing up and spinning… naked. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!?" a feminine voice shouted loudly! "You don't like it?" FIB's voice echoed through the room and into the bodies sound receptors. "You put me in a female body?" the fact that FIB was still around blown off by the fact he could yell at the thing now. "You humans are very whiney about these 'sex' things aren't you. I can never really tell the difference. If you would prefer I could put you in a different model." "I would very much prefer, yes." he voiced aloud in a… female tone. "Right, let's see then, It looks like I could put you in one other nearby. It's a pleasure Model… ohh wait, also female, though she does have very large breasts. Males of the human species love large breasts, don't they?" FIB's voice stated into the air. "Usually not attached to themselves," Smith replied aloud sarcastically to FIB. "See, Humans are ridiculous, if you like something why would you not make it a part of yourself? So you want to swap?" [i]"That is ill advised, Sentient Smith. Pleasure Models do not hold any combat capabilities," [/i]his helpful inner voice stated. "Right, but do you need helpful things like 'combat capabilities' in a death game? I think, not when you can simply procreate your way to victory. Think about it." "I'll pass," he replied immediately and dryly his…her? face showing severe displeasure. "Ohh… how sad. It would have been far more entertaining." "You're really just fucking with me aren't you…" He could feel the smirk, positively feel it, but FIB's only response was to change the subject. "Right, your first objective, whether you choose to accept it or not, find your partner. You have two days. Failure to complete the objective will result in… I dunno reduction of points and something. I'll come up with something in the next two days."