[i]I don’t understand.[/i] Of course he didn’t. And Ryan almost- pitied him for it, as bad as it sounded. Ryan was forcing this whole ‘taking responsibility’ move on him pretty fast, hardly explaining what was wrong to someone who couldn’t possibly detect a fault within himself. That’s just how it was; change took time, and Ryan had given him none of it, but apparently this kind of treatment was punishment enough. judging how small and defeated Ryan’s usually proud and bold boyfriend was at the moment. Yeah, he was fucking [i]pissed[/i] about his efforts to help being jumped on, plus the whole comparison to Shane, but Brendon would sincerely believe he was innocent no matter what. That was his upbringing, no repercussions. 

[i]I don’t want [/i]this. Ryan watched him fight for composure, looking guarded himself. [i]But you haven’t really given us a chance, here.[/i] Ryan considered every second where he wasn’t walking out the door a ‘chance,’ but of course, Brendon having no idea where he’d gone wrong was sort of throwing a wrench into his plans of receiving a genuine, sincere apology. It was hard to not start convincing himself that maybe it really didn’t matter all that much, maybe he was playing all this up in his head and Brendon could go off the hook... actually, it wasn’t just hard, Ryan was already sort of doing it. Like- he really didn’t want to desert Brendon for however long it took to make up for this, if he made nice at all. He [i]sorta[/i] liked him. And he was spineless.

But he was walking out anyway, because he was sick of the role he’d had to play in this relationship, and. If Brendon cared enough to stop him, then... [i]Wait[/i]. They were such a cliché that Ryan was almost tempted to just ignore it to preserve their dignity. Alas, he turned at the waist, looking at Brendon impatiently when he couldn’t meet Ryan’s gaze. [i]I love you.[/i] His broken voice wasn’t entirely convicing, and Ryan almost smiled, endeared- he was dating the [i]most[/i] inexperienced guy in the world, no clue how to navigate a real relationship. Lucky him. [i]Please- don’t.[/i] Ryan studied him for a moment, considering. God, Brendon was an idiot, but so was he.

Because he was such a massive, unrelenting idiot, Ryan let the door fall shut. He dropped all his belongings he’d gathered up in one pile - easy enough to pick back up in a heartbeat should things go awry - and approached Brendon, hands hovering over his waist while he walked them backward a few steps back to the counter island their argument had started in the first place. He took back the paperwork shoved hastily in his arms and slid it across the marble, then regarded Brendon more carefully, deciding he’d make this much clearer. [b]”Tell me you don’t believe I’m like Shane. Tell me you’re not serious about that bullshit and I’ll think about not walking out of here.”[/b] Okay, so he was definitely being [i]mean[/i], but. Big difference, still. And, yeah, this hardly addressed his initial issue, but that was one he could actively help control at another time.