[@Nate1008] Going off of what [@Aleranicus] has said, here is a list of "have you tried" and similar things that might help you:

[quote]What do you plan on doing in the RP that will not only make it fun for everyone else but also for you? As it stands currently, people will not really want to interact with what is obviously a very hostile and treacherous hivemind meaning you will end up posting about yourself for a while as everyone is interacting with each other.[/quote]

[quote]I believe you are trying to take inspiration from the likes of the Flood, the Tyranids and the Zerg but have you considered the option of not requiring to take all of them to create a "super parasite"? I know the word OP has been thrown around a lot, but that is honestly what it seems like you are trying to do, make an unbeatable creation that cannot be stopped and cannot be destroyed. Have you considered that the other players would not consider this nearly as amusing or interesting as you?[/quote]

[quote]Have you considered any deeper history for your species? As it stands right now, it would seem that the government was astronomically inept at preventing what was basically a zombie outbreak to the point it has taken over a colony and a moon. No stable government would ever let this just slide but that also means you could have had a weak or ineffective government ignore or not dedicate enough resources to fixing the issue. In my own sheet, the Haradoni would have had enough resources to put down an outbreak of the Syndorian Virus but because they were terribly loosing a war, they decided to let it loose on themselves.[/quote]

[quote]From personal experience, I would recommend against using precise numbers. As it stands on your NS right now they are only taking up space and not really giving any meaningful information. Same with the lists, they are just taking up space and could at least be put in hiders. On the topic of numbers, 718 people is a pitifully small force to the point that it is likely impossible to do any meaningful actions; I'm fairly certain the high school I went to had around 700 people.[/quote]

[quote]I would suggest removing the infested naval vessels and coming up with some more of your own with pictures. To a lot of poeple just saying you "take over other player's stuff" is both lazy and bad writing. In addition your navy's weapons do not seem to be intimidating or even practical at all. I understand that you're trying to use the Tyranid hiveships as a basis, but your writing does not make it seem impressive. How about firing boney spikes and fleshy mass, you use bioplasma, rapid fire spore cannons that fire a super dense bone-like spike that mimics conventional kinetic munitions or even living creatures who can latch on to ships (if not stopped by shields) and start to dig into them.

Also the fact that you can take over another player's hyperdread is really off putting. Even if you don't plan on doing it, the fact that you list is as part of your active navy and allude to it as a possibility means that there's always a chance. A chance many don't want to take.[/quote]

[quote]For what reason do you have slaves/non infected populations for? I know that you've mentioned somewhere that you turn some of them into sleeper agents with the virus in them, but you are relying on the fact that said agents won't simply say where they are coming from and authorities simply knowing that they're from infected space. You're also overlooking the fact that some people would be more than willing to just shoot down suspected infected craft. Instead, what if your hivemind was smart enough to start basically farming humans/other sentient beings for hosts and biomass. In addition, what was your original host species? There is more than just humans in this galaxy.[/quote]

There is more but this is what I could quickly think of off the top of my head. Another word of advice, don't be upset if you have to change your NS a lot. Ask any veteran NRPer and they will tell you that they change their NS many times if not dozens of times. Hell, I know a decent number of NSs that their creators never consider "finish" and continuously work on it up until the RP itself ends up dying out.