[center] [color=sienna][h1]Awakening II[/h1][/color] [/center] [hr] She stood upon the beach, watching the waves crash into the shore. The smell of sea salt was strong here, and the noise of the sea was oddly comforting. There was a slight breeze caressing her face, and blowing her hair back as she looked out into the far distance. Dark clouds were on the horizon, which meant a storm was brewing, but Rowan knew one had already landed. In her heart, and mind it raged on. Not three days had passed since she and Orvus had spoken at length about everything. It came as a surprise when she found out the truth, the real truth behind it all. Her appearance, her emotions, her confusion, her children, Arya, Laurien and her husband, Orvus. He was a god, he… He created Arya and Laurien from but a thought and brought herself, Ava and Lily to life from a dream. A dream. She could hardly wrap her mind around it. Galbar, the place she found herself in, was the material plane and her world was another reality entirely. She grew up there, she had friends and family there, and she met Orvus there. It felt real, and Orvus had assured her it was. Yet Rowan could not shake the feeling that something was missing. A part of herself, perhaps? She was simply glad that Ava and Lily did not have to be burdened with such knowledge, not yet anyway. They lived in ignorant bliss, what more could a mother ask for her children? They were happy, and that was all that mattered. Arya and Laurien were no different. She was very fond of the both of them, and perhaps one day they would call her mother, but she knew that title belonged to two others. Regardless of that fact, Ava and Lily and began calling them sisters, and that warmed her heart when things felt so wrong. Then there was this new appearance. Orvus had told her why the change had to take place, and that he was sorry he did not ask for permission. She wished he had. She did not have a problem with how she looked, she simply missed her old self, and her hair. And she missed her husband’s face. She found it fascinating that one could speak and be heard, without lips. But then again, he was a god after all, whatever that meant. That was the thing she could hardly believe most of all, that the man who was simply a farmer, had the power to create with a mere thought. She smirked, wondering what Hank would have to say about that. But she found that coming to terms with what was truly real and only half real, was personally struggling. Maybe she was still in shock from such revelations, or maybe she did not know what to do with her new found life. But slowly, like the lapping of waves over and over again, she began to understand that it wasn’t so different. Like her world, the ocean still crashed into the sand. There were similarities. She could still be a mother, a wife and a friend. There was no changing that, it was her duty to look after her children, to protect them and watch them grow and learn. She could be a wife to her husband, and all that entitled, and she could be a friend to Arya and Laurien, for they were already practically family. It would take her awhile to really fit in, but she was confident she could. [color=black]”There you are.”[/color] Came Orvus’ voice. Rowan turned around to see her husband walking towards her, coming in the direction of the large house. He wore nothing still, much to her chastising. Even though he had no… Parts to show, one couldn’t help but try and not be modest to the world. She gave a fake smile, [color=sienna]”Here I am.”[/color] she said enthusiastically. Orvus tipped his head slightly, and hunched his shoulders as he walked to stand next to her. They both turned to face the approaching storm. [color=black]”You don’t have to pretend to smile, Rowan.”[/color] he said, turning to look at her. [color=black]”We both know you were never good at it. I can tell something upsets you, what is it?”[/color] he asked gently. She sighed, and looked over at him, [color=sienna]”Pretending is all I can really do right now, after everything you’ve told me. I hardly know what to think, Orvus.”[/color] she said, leaning her head into his shoulder. Orvus then put a comforting hand around her waist. [color=sienna]”Something still feels like it’s missing. Like a part of me is out there somewhere. Are you sure you brought me over whole?”[/color] she mused, only to be met with a long silence from her husband. [color=sienna]”Orvus?”[/color] she said, moving her head back up to look at him. He did not look back at her, and his eyes expressed pain and her heart sunk. There was something else. [color=sienna]”What is it? Tell me.”[/color] [color=black]”I cannot. The answer to your question is… It will only bring you pain, Rowan.”[/color] he said sadly, finally looking into her eyes. But she was adamant. [color=sienna]”No, you need to tell me, regardless. I beg you, please. Please. Maybe it can make me feel whole again.”[/color] she said, her voice breaking. Orvus took both her hands in his own and sighed, [color=black]”For you to come to this world, to be brought to life. To live forever. I needed to… Make a sacrifice.”[/color] he said, his hands began to shake. [color=black]”I did not want to, believe me when I tell you this. I wanted everything to be as it was, but that could not be the deal. You… We... Are no longer capable of having any more children.”[/color] Rowan began to rapidly blink, and she averted her gaze. She let go of his hands and held herself tightly. [color=sienna]”Ava and Lily too? They can never have their own children. We can never be grandparents?”[/color] she said, hurt. [color=black]”Yes. They will grow, but never be able to have children of their own. I am so, so sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was afraid of what you would think of me.”[/color] he said, reaching out to her, but she pulled away. She looked at him with a mix of anger and sadness. [color=sienna]”The fact that you think I would think less of you, make me so angry. How could you even think that? Why wouldn’t you just tell me sooner? Did you really think I would hate you for such a decision? We have children already, I would have understood, but now…”[/color] she paused, her mouth slowly opening as she began to shake her head. [color=sienna]”There’s more isn’t there? You would have told me, instead of me asking, if that was all that I was missing. What else are you keeping from me, Orvus?”[/color] [color=black]”Rowan, please. You don’t want to know.”[/color] he said softly. [color=sienna]”You don’t get to make the decision!”[/color] she said angrily. [color=sienna]”Do you have any idea what it’s like to feel like a part of yourself isn’t there? Tell me. Tell me right now.”[/color] she said sternly, crossing her arms. [color=black]”I do understand. I understand better than most.”[/color] he said angrily, before sighing. [color=black]”I had to take one of your memories away, and replace it, for your own sanity. I did not want to see you in so much grief because of my decision.”[/color] He took a deep breath. [color=black]”You… You were with child. Our baby, could not be brought over. So I decided that the baby… would be best-”[/color] [color=sienna]”Don’t say that word.”[/color] Rowan interjected, white tears falling down her face. [color=sienna]”Don’t you dare!”[/color] she said crying. [color=sienna]”How could you! How could you be so selfish? Did you think I wouldn’t find out! How dare you!”[/color] she said, covering her mouth as her world came crashing down. It all made sense now, the part of her missing, hadn’t been her after all, but their unborn child. [color=black]”Rowan I-”[/color] Orvus began. [color=sienna]”Go away.”[/color] she whispered, removing her hand. [color=sienna]”Leave me alone!”[/color] she shouted at him. Her husband blinked a tear, before he shot off into the sky, leaving her alone. She fell to her knees and gripped the sand before her as she wailed in grief. [hr] It was later, on the cusp of the storm arriving did she a teary eyed Rowan hear footsteps coming from behind her. Soft steps, one that walked delicately. Still gripping her knees, she brought her head up to look who it was, hoping it was anyone but Orvus. And to her great surprise, Arya’s concerned, yet gentle face gave her a smile in return. Rowan turned her head back to the sea, her gaze unblinking as she kept thinking about that child of hers, and the life he or she could have had. Arya said nothing, but sat down next to her and watched the sea as well. The two stayed like that for a long time, as lightning flashed in the distance. The rumblings of thunder followed afterwards. [color=sienna]”Do you… Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? Like, your entire life wasn’t what it was supposed to be and yet-”[/color] Rowan began to say. [color=ivory]”And yet we live it all the same. The good and the bad, the ups and the downs.”[/color] Arya mused lightly, [color=ivory]”I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere, for the longest of times. I was always trying to find a home, somewhere I was wanted and loved. It took me a long time, and I met people along the way that I care for dearly, but it wasn’t until I met Xiaoli, and Hermes on Tendlepog did that I felt those things. They are my mothers and I have siblings, and nieces and nephews but I left… A part of me didn’t want to, but another part of me knew that the world was out there, waiting to be seen. A new life, one that I chose.”[/color] she paused thoughtfully, as Rowan turned her head to look at Arya. [color=ivory]”I know you didn’t have much of a choice coming here, or how you came here, Rowan. I know dreams better than most do, and even if that life you lived was beautiful, it will pale in comparison to this one. Dreams are just that, dreams. Are hopes and aspirations, what we desire, what we can’t live without. That was why my father dreamt of you, because deep down, he desired the same thing I wanted. He wanted to feel something, anything, he wanted to be loved. And you do that for him. His decision wasn’t easy, and for that, I am truly sorry for your loss Rowan. I’m not a mother, but I know what it’s like to lose those that we care for, that’d we’d do anything for.”[/color] she finished with sad eyes. Rowan felt comforted by her words, they felt good to hear, and even better to know that another knew what she was going through. [color=sienna]”Who did you lose? If you don’t mind me asking.”[/color] she asked softly to her. [color=ivory]”My crew. I was on a ship for awhile, doing a quest for K’nell, Lord of sleep and dreams. Suffice to say, our mission failed and I was the only survivor. I miss them.”[/color] Arya said, wrapping her arms around her knees. Rowan’s heart grew sad at her tale, and she put an arm around Arya’s waist as she scooted closer. [color=sienna]”I’m sorry for your loss, Arya. I can’t even imagine…”[/color] she let her words die in her throat, and looked back out at the ocean. [color=ivory]”Thank you, Rowan.”[/color] Arya said, leaning into her shoulder. The small display of affection was welcoming and Rowan began to relax. [color=ivory]”I was angry at father for the longest time. Ages in fact. I thought he truly abandoned me, and that he did not care but as time went on I learned that the world wasn’t always as we saw it. There came a day when he finally told me why he let me go. It wasn’t because he hated me, or that he didn’t care, it was because he didn’t think he was good enough for me. But I forgave him for it, because deep down, he needed me. He’s done terrible things Rowan, most of which was before he had the dream about you, but now, I don’t even think he could willingly hurt anyone. Least not intentionally, he’s still working on it.”[/color] she said with a laugh. Rowan could not help but give a small smirk. [color=sienna]”Do I even want to know what he’s done?”[/color] she sighed. [color=ivory]”No, I’ll leave that to him… Just be patient. He’s come along way, but with any journey, we start somewhere. Usually as a different person by the time the journey ends. I like who he is now, and I’ve never seen him happier than when he’s had you, Ava and Lily.”[/color] Arya said. [color=sienna]”That’s… That’s good to hear, Arya. I just… I don’t even know what to say anymore. My husband is a god. I’m in an entirely different world. I have all my memories save the one I want most of all and I look and feel so different then what I was before. It’s just a lot to take in.”[/color] Rowan said after a moment of thought. Arya pulled away and sat up, then took Rowan’s hands within her own. [color=ivory]”It’s okay. This is new to all of us, I don’t believe something like this has ever happened before. We can get through this, trust me. I will help you, and Laurien will help you, and we will help out with the children. It’s only been four days since you’ve been awake, after all. No one said you’d figure it all out in a day, dear. And you don’t have to. All that matters now, is that you go at your own pace. Okay?”[/color] Rowan nodded, agreeing with Arya. A part of her felt like a young woman again, being giving the same motherly advice from her own mom. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought. [color=sienna]”You’re good at this, you know and with children, but you are right. When… When do you think he’ll be back?”[/color] [color=ivory]”Orvus? Oh, I think he's flown off somewhere. He'll be back in time. But for now, let’s hurry up home before the storm comes in.”[/color] she said, helping Rowan stand up. And they did. [hr] [hider=summary] Rowan is still in the process of figuring things out and is in deep turmoil with herself. She’s learned of everything that brought her to the new world and what she was before. She’s still trying to come to terms with it. Orvus then arrives and the discussion changes to the real root of the problem, and he tells her that she and their daughters are infertile, but Rowan quickly deduces that there is more to the story and forces Orvus to tell her about their unborn child, who no longer exists as it was not possible for he or she to come to Galbar. Orvus had taken that memory away from her in hopes that it would not cause her pain, but it does anyway. She tells him to leave and he does. Then after a long while, Arya arrives and gives her some motherly advice. We end on a good note. [/hider] [hider=Might] Orvus has 5MP & 3FP Nothing spent. [/hider] [hider=prestige] Arya: The Learner, The Martial Dancer, The Compassionate, The Wanderer, The Teacher, The Sailor, Last of the Zhengwu +31 Prestige Starting +1 For Minor Role = +32 Prestige Ending [/hider]