[center]Collab between LoneSilverWolf and I

Rogue

It wasn’t till I felt Daxx’s paws jabbing into my spine that I finally woke from a semi-decent slumber. I turn to glare at my pup for waking me from an enjoyable sleep but can’t help but smile when I see his cute scruffy face. I shake my head and turn away as I rub the back of my neck, yawning softly. There was hardly any light coming through the blinds of the window, but I could tell the sun was just barely rising, not going down. It was time for a run. Looking down to see my Rescue-ee still sleeping, I smirk and suddenly get an idea. I giggle a bit and slip down onto his mattress, pushing my hands and feet up against his back growling like a dog. [b]“Come on, Nav! Wake up ya’ big lug! You’re late!”[/b]

Navarro

I startle awake, feeling something digging into my back. Eyes flying open, my hands went towards my pillow. I’m not thinking right now--it’s pure reflex at this point. My hand was already under my pillow, clasping the handle of my pistol before I heard the soft growling and recognized the voice; [I]“Come on, Nav! Wake up, ya big lug! You’re late!”[/I] I relax as the soft voice rings in my ears, and release the weapon, sliding my hand back from under the pillow. Heart still beating fast, I roll over on my side, and gaze into Devereaux's eyes, giving her a soft smile. [b]“You know, you startled the shit out of me!”[/b] I tell her, laughing. I then have an idea of my own. I suddenly leap forward, and take her hands, pinning them down, a wide smile on my face as I sit on her feet. [b] “Got the drop on ya, Seal...go ahead and say it, ‘Marines kick ass.’ OR, ‘Oh Navarro, I could never match your skills and wit!’ Something like that.” [/b] I wink at her as I hold her hands down, and feel the flash of the wolf within--but I push Snowball into the back of my mind, ignoring the beast for now.

Rogue

I shake my head and look up at him, then laugh as I hear Daxx growling towards Nav and glance at my dog. [b]”Heel, boy, heel. We’re just playing.”[/b] I smirk and turn my gaze back to Nav, raising an eyebrow at him. [b]”Don’t make me descend hell on you. Hell, hell hath no fury like a woman’s revenge, Nav. I’ll bring out my charm, and if that won’t work.. it’s Alpha time, baby!”[/b] I laugh and wink back at him, not moving much in terms of being pinned down, just laying down quite relaxed.

Navarro

I look over at Daxx as he growls, the corner of my lips forming a smirk. He’s a damn loyal--and brave dog. He has to know what I am, what I can become, yet growls anyway, as if to warn me not to get too rough with his owner. I hear Water Lily tell him to heel, and turn my gaze back to her. [i]“Don’t make me descend hell on you. Hell, hell hath no fury like a womans Revenge, Nav. I’ll bring out my charm, and if that won’t work...it’s Alpha time, baby!”[/i] I look down for a moment, catch her wink, feel her lax body unmoving. Of course she knows I’m just playing with her--truth is she could flip me on my ass at any time with that fancy SEAL training of hers. Still, possibly pressing my luck a hair, I laugh. [b] “The charm, huh? Sounds intriguing, Water Lily...you’ll have to tell me more about this charm sometime…”[/b] I let her wrists go, flopping down next to her on the bed, momentarily gazing up at the ceiling, wondering how long of a run she’s going to want to go on this morning. Turning my head to look at her while I lay there, I let out a small sigh. [b]“You know...you’ve pulled me out of the fire God only knows how many times...think I’ll ever be able to return the favor?”[/b] I lean back as I ask this, resting my hands behind my head, enjoying the moment between her and I--we spend most of the day killing zombies or getting people in this prison/safehouse in line, after all.

Rogue

I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head as I sat up and scooted off of his bed to get up and get ready for the day. A few feet away, I can hear Daxx hop over Nav and start lapping at his water bowl. All the sounds of such a ordinary day, in such an extraordinary time. I could remember the time when I first brought Daxx home after he was put out to retire, he and I would wake early each morning for a run and he would always take a big drink of water before we’d go. It always seemed to slow him down quite a bit when he did, rather than when he wouldn’t drink so much. It took me a second to bring myself back to the moment, standing there with my hands on either side of the sink staring into the mirror, staring into my own eyes. As I stared, I could see them start to burn deep red and that particular part of me scared myself. I quickly looked away and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly-- then it dawned on me that I had never answered Nav’s question. [i]Maybe it was a rhetorical question?[/i] I figured I could answer anyways. [b]”Well, to answer your question, um.. probably not.”[/b] As I stood in the doorway looking down the hall, I made eye contact with one of the other guards and he gave me a smile. A smile I knew all too well. Shaking my head, I sliced my hand by my throat a couple times and mouthed ‘later’.

Navarro

When Devereaux slid off the bed and looked for a while into the mirror, I was left to my own thoughts for a moment, too. The girl was hard to read sometimes, and I’ll admit a small sense of loss when she got up. I wondered what was going through her mind just then. Was she thinking of lost family or friends? Or was she plotting out the day? Were they good thoughts or bad ones? My brow furrowing slightly, I sat up, crossing my legs indian style while I looked over at Daxx for a moment. [b]“Good boy...you’re a good dog, y’know that?”[/b] I said to the dog. Then Devereaux’s voice, in answer to my question, reached my ears. I smirked a little as she said “probably not,” shaking my head slightly and snorting. I couldn’t argue with her either, that was the real bitch of it. I stood to my feet and wandered over towards the sink where she just was--and caught her gazing at one of the guards outside the doorway through the mirror. I averted my gaze as she motioned to him, staring into the porcelain and closing my eyes. I could feel the wolf within stirring, and fought it down. [i]She is your friend, Nav. Your friend and nothing more. You’ve no right to feel this way and you know it![/i] I chastised myself. She never explicitly told me but...I knew what went on behind closed doors...literally. I gazed into the mirror, saw my own light brown hair and eyes-- only they weren’t my usual deep brown. Instead, they were glowing orange. I blinked, and the color didn’t change. The wolf was writhing to get out, to fight against the slew of feelings in my heart, and I squeezed them shut, squeezing the sink so hard I could feel a crack start to form where my fingers were. Semi-destructive though this was, it helped. I felt the wolf begin to recede, to bend to my will. Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly, swallowing hard, and put on my best fake smile I could muster, and turned to Devereaux.

 [b]“Don’t be so sure about that,”[/b] I told her, unable to take the clipped edge out of my voice despite my best efforts. It wasn’t very noticeable, but it *was* there. [b]“You SEALS are all alike, aren’t you? We Marines know a thing or two too, ya know?”[/b] I managed a chuckle, before finding one of my shirts and tossing it over my head. I turned back towards her, just in time to see Mila dart between her legs and into the room. With a tiny meow, the cat gazed up at me with her beautiful emerald eyes. A Russian Blue, her short fur was so dark it looked nearly black. I managed a real smile this time, and picked the girl up, stroking her ears as she purred softly in my arms. [b]“And where the hell have you been?”[/b] I asked her, kissing her furry little head before tossing her onto the bed. [b]“So what are we doing today, Water-Lilly?”[/b] I asked, still a slight edginess to my voice--but much more hidden this time. [b]“I’m assuming we’re not just gonna sit on our asses this morning!”[/b]

Rogue

As much as I wanted to know what had caused his sudden tenseness in his body and edge in his voice, I pretended as if I didn’t notice anything change in him. Without moving my lower body, I turned my head and fixed my eyes into his, letting them glow Alpha Red. The power in my words that of which only an Alpha can force unto another. [b]”Nav. Do you trust me?”[/b] Stepping away from the door slowly, I cross the distance between us in a couple strides, only a few inches from him. I gaze deeply into his eyes, my expression soft but stern at once. [b]”Would you stay by my side to whatever end? Defend me as if I’d never done a thing wrong?”[/b] I put a little bit of distance between us but not much more than was already there to begin with when I’d stepped forward. His tenseness was really stirring the wolf within me and I didn’t like the way she wanted to react to his… emotions. Whatever the hell was going on with him. [b]”Because I need to know. I need to know that out of everyone--I chose you to be the one and only that I trust and put my faith in.. out of everyone, I need to know [i]you[/i] won’t abandon me like everyone else did because of who I am.. and the things I’ve done, or future fuck-ups that I will commit.”[/b] I swallowed hard, then. I couldn’t remember ever really opening up and saying something that brave in god knows how long-- or if at all, with Nav at least.

Navarro

I was completely taken aback as Water Lily stepped within inches of me, the red in her eyes glittering like polished rubies, staring right into my own eyes. And then her question. Did I trust her...would I stand by her side no matter what, and not abandon her? I blinked, taken by surprise at her words. Never, for as long as I’d known Devereaux, had she spoken to me in this way. I could feel it, the wolf in her, the power of the Alpha behind the human body. No...within it. My own wolf began to recede even more, and I’m sure the bright orange glow was fading to dull; if it was there at all. I gazed at Devereaux for several minutes, contemplating her question, because they struck a chord in my heart. I clenched my teeth, this time to bite back something I’d not thought I was capable of feeling in years--the threat of...tears? Blinking again, I managed a smile, albeit a small one. [B]“Of course...of course I trust you--and you can trust me. If I didn’t trust you, Water Lily, I’d be dead a dozen times over, yeah?”[/b] I could feel the attempt at humor fall flat to such a serious question, and I shook my head softly, smile fading. I held up my hand, the one she bit, showing the scar between my thumb and index finger, a serious look on [i]my[/i] face now. [b]“You gave me this...I don’t take that lightly. I trust you with my life, and this mark...this scar--it’s permanent. It’s forever. Like me. I’m not abandoning you; until death takes me, Devereaux, no matter what…”[/b] I let my voice trail...I’d almost said something to her, something that both of us may regret if I did. 

Dare I? No. No, I dare not. Biting my tongue, I let the rest of the thought remain just that; a thought. Because she was something else entirely. A good friend, and despite what was going on, I couldn’t honestly say what she’d do if I said what was going on in my mind. Make me leave the pack? I doubted that, but she might look at me a lot differently. I had to force the thoughts away. I trusted her, plain and simple. She couldn’t be blamed if I told her nothing of my feelings, right? My secret. Maybe it would die with me, maybe not. Whatever the case, now as not the time. Besides, what would I say? I reached over, placing my scarred hand against her cheek, staring into those eyes for several moments until the beast within threatened to come bursting out. I then lowered my hand and turned away, staring at my boots instead. [b]“That’s a promise, Water Lily,”[/b] I muttered, trying desperately to mask the emotions behind those five words.

Rogue

After everything Nav and I had been through together, I felt so many mixed emotions when it came to him. Sometimes he felt like my best and only friend, other times he felt like the brother I never had-- and then moments like the one I felt as his hand rested against my cheek, every bit of me wanted him to hold me close and tell me I was his. One reason I hated being human-- we never really know what we want. As his hand dropped and he turned away, a sense of cold ran over me like a chilled rain pouring over me. Something inside me began to ache, and I couldn’t help myself-- letting go of the Alpha and SEAL in me, just being human, I crossed the distance between us again and wrapped my arms around his midsection, wrapping him up in a tight hug. As I held him against me and buried my face into his chest, I could feel Daxx nosing my calf as if saying ‘Let’s go!’ but I shooed him away with my foot, closing my eyes and just holding onto Nav. [b]”I’m tired of losing people, Nav.. I don’t wanna lose you,”[/b] I murmurred. [b]”You are the closest thing to family I’ve had in, god-- years, Nav! I can’t even--”[/b] Suddenly my voice just trailed off as I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes. Even as military--who were supposed to be Poster Children for strength, I every now and then let my guard down when no one was looking, unless it was Nav. Nav had seen me cry more than anyone my entire life. Looking down at our shoes, I could feel a little piece of that wall crumbling--falling apart bit by bit. [i]Why do I have to be so emotional-- WHY?![/i]

Navarro

It seems that Devereaux is full of surprises today. I didn’t even hear her coming, I just felt her arms envelop me, felt her face in my chest. It took me a moment to realize just what was happening. We’ve hugged on occasion before, but this was somehow...different. I wasn’t exactly sure what I should do; I just felt a sudden sense of peace wash over me. Snowball was now calm and docile as a neutered rabbit. I gently rested an arm over her shoulders, and as we stood there, I felt as if I never wanted to leave that moment. If I could freeze time, live in one moment for the rest of my life...it felt as if that’d have been it right there. I took in a deep breath and was about to say something when she spoke. [i]I’m tired of losing people, Nav.. I don’t wanna lose you. You are the closest thing to family I’ve had in, god-- years, Nav! I can’t even--”[/i] The distress in her words made me look down at her. While I couldn’t see her face, I could hear the threat of tears in her voice, [i]feel[/i] them within her. While this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen her cry, something felt different...I closed my eyes, heart breaking to hear the tone of her words. I pulled her closer, holding her. [b]“It’s alright, Lily,”[/b] I said to her, my voice low. I dropped her nickname, as I always did when things were more serious. [b]“You can let it out if you want to. It’s what I’m here for...among other things.”[/b] Perhaps I added that last part in, to try and elicit a small laugh, to help her fight the tears. Or maybe dry humor was so ingrained into my personality that I just couldn’t help it. But she was used to that, and never held it against me...I don’t think, anyway. I leaned down, kissing the top of her head, and stood there, trying to provide some comfort with whatever was troubling her. 

Rogue
I couldn’t help but smile when I heard him call me by my middle name-- “Tiger Lily” often times made me blush but I never let Nav see. I didn’t want to let anything jeopardize our friendship. I still wasn’t sure how exactly I felt for him. As he kissed my forehead, I sighed and let everything go all at once, collecting my composure once more. I sniffled and stepped back from him just a hair, reaching up to cup his face in my hands, bending his head down so I could reach him as I returned a kiss to his forehead. [b]”I have to go, for now.. k? I’ll meet back up with you later, ok? I have some important business to attend to.”[/b]

Navarro

I watched as she stepped back, and felt her return the kiss to my own forehead. At that touch, that contact, I felt my heart beat just a little faster; the feel of her fingers across my cheeks, it wasn’t unlike that of feathers, at least in my mind. I almost sighed then, almost lost control and spilled my heart. I was able to maintain my composure only because of her words, telling me she had to go for now. I looked at her for a long moment, so many unspoken words wanting to be released--but I kept them locked away. Now was neither the time or the place. Would there ever be a time? Or was I doomed to a life of admiration from afar, never telling her what I felt within. Whatever was to come, at very least she’d be by my side, and that was something I couldn’t complain about. I took in a deep breath, and nodded as she spoke.
 
[b]“Alright, then. Do you want me to do a quick perimeter run, tear up any shufflers that are too close?”[/b] I ask, my voice a bit lower than usual as I tried to deal with the emotions pressing down upon me. Perimeter runs were usually pretty entertaining, gave everyone involved a chance to go wolf. I loved letting the wolf out, running the wild, ripping zombies apart if one dared get too close. I tried to forget what her “business” might be as I gazed into her eyes, tried to keep my inner wolf at peace. 

Rogue
I smile, reaching up and cupping the side of his face in my hand as I looked up into his eyes. [b]”Would be a good idea.. be safe, okay? I don’t want to have to come rescue your ass again.”[/b] I smirk and slowly let my hand fall from his face, turning away and grabbing my jacket off of the back of our bedroom door. I slip on the jacket, looking over my shoulder at Nav before slipping out the door and walking down the hallway towards the Tool Shed.

Navarro

Sometimes perimeter runs are some of the most interesting things there are. You can go wolf, dashing around the prison, and sometimes you can find zombies trying to break through. Sometimes you get the chance to let the wolf have his way, and allow him to attack these shufflers. Sometimes, these perimeter runs turn out to be the highlight of the day. This was not the case this time, however. I spent hours roaming the perimeter of the prison, and there was nothing to be found. It was incredibly dull, made even worse by the absence of Devereaux. But, as any good soldier does, I toughed it out. Retrieving the clothes that I hid behind a tree, I quickly dressed after returning to human form, then headed back through the heavily guarded gates of Cook County Prison. I nodded to a couple of guards on my way through, and headed towards what we call Soldier Housing...or among some of us, the Wolf’s Den. I particularly enjoyed looking at the place as a den of wolves, because all of us living there were...hiding an inner beast like my own.

I pushed open the door, ready to see Lily, tell her how boring as hell my day was--and I did see her...but not like I wanted. As I wandered through the doorway and into the hall, I caught her with the guard from this morning, holding his hand as she headed...somewhere. Maybe they were about to part ways? I didn’t know for sure. The mere sight would’ve ruffled my fur had I been in wolf form--and I almost changed right there on the spot. The sight of her hand in his...it tormented me deeply. I could feel my eyes flash bright orange, I could feel the wolf within struggling to break free. Clenching my jaw tightly, I tried to get a hold of myself; my hands balling into fists at my side. I shut my eyes, struggling to focus...I could feel the bristle of fur wanting to break through flesh, but I wouldn’t let it. I couldn’t. Still, the sight threw me into a strange rage that I knew I had little right to feel. I swallowed hard, and began to make my way towards the room that Devereaux and I shared--but to do that, I’d have to pass...them. I tried to act normal as I passed by, turning to say hello to Tiger-Lily...but I knew. I knew the look in my eyes could not be hidden, the orange glow...hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if that damn guard couldn’t feel the rage radiation from me. I call it rage, but if I’m being honest, a good deal of it, if not most, would be pain. Hurt. Doing my best to keep my voice calm and steady, I nodded to the guard, before turning my gaze to Dev. [b]“Well, hi Lil…”[/b] was all I could muster. I turned away quickly, meaning to continue to our quarters, wondering if she’d notice the look in my eyes...and wondering if [i]he[/i] would notice too.

Rogue
There was a goofy, childish smile stuck on my face as I held Sergeant McKinley’s hand while we walked our way back from ‘our spot’. I could feel a sudden tense feeling around me, but I knew it wasn’t my own emotions nor was it McKinley’s. Then just as I looked up, I caught sight of Nav walking in our direction-- I nearly froze in place but forced myself to continue walking in a normal pace, letting go of McKinley’s hand slowly trying to not make it seem too weird for McKinley that I’d chosen to let go as Nav was in sight. I did, infact see the color change in Nav’s eyes. I could feel every emotion he felt as he grew closer and closer to me. I could feel it through our pack bond, and I knew he could feel mine too, or at least I hoped he could. Regret, sadness, and most of all-- fear. As Nav approached, I stopped as did McKinley beside me. My eyes quickly looked down towards the floor as I heard Nav say hello while he walked by. Clearing my throat, I glanced over my shoulder at him and called after him, [b]”Hey buddy-- um, how did the perimeter run go? I was just on my way to come rescue ya from the nasty biters. Thought you’d been overrun or something.”[/b] I attempt to laugh a little, but it would have been clear to anyone how fake and forced it was. However, I managed to keep a smile on my face.

Navarro

I’d made my way past Devereaux, before I started to feel some of [i]her[/i] emotions...normally I was more in-tune to those sort of things, with the bond we share. But my own feelings were so strong, that they momentarily drowned anything else out. Somewhat ironically, the fact that I could feel sadness and regret, managed to calm me down, slightly. But the fear I felt, that made things hurt worse. Was she afraid of me, or afraid that I’d leave her pack? I didn’t know, and part of me didn’t want to know. The fact I could instill any fear at all was another hole in my heart, and it caused me to stop walking even before she called to me. [i]”Hey buddy-- um, how did the perimeter run go? I was just on my way to come rescue ya from the nasty biters. Thought you’d been overrun or something.”[/i], I heard her say; the words made me stiffen slightly, but I could also hear the fake laugh, and realized she was probably trying just as hard as I was to maintain her own composure. I didn’t even bother trying to force a laugh of my own. Nor did I turn around to face her; I didn’t want her to see the glossiness in my eyes, which would stand out a lot more glowing as they were. Instead I spoke over my shoulder as well in answer. [b]“Wasn’t anything to overrun me this time, Tiger-Lil. Was boring as shit out there. Not so much as a wild turkey by the perimeter.”[/b] I wanted to move, to find my way to our quarters, to vent the emotions tearing away at me--but at the same time, I couldn’t move. I felt frozen in place, and yet I couldn’t turn around to face Devereaux either. So, I just stood there where I was, hands at my side, and a heavy weight seemingly descending upon me. 

McKinley
The Sergeant turned and looked towards Devereaux’s known friend and packmate, raising an eyebrow at the man who looked as if he had just had the shittiest day of his life. McKinley wasn’t too touchy feely when it came to emotional people, so as he turned his gaze back at Devereaux, he gently tugged her hand and smiled at her. [b]”Hey, c’mon. It’s almost sunset, lets go watch it. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. It’s quite magnificent.”[/b]

Rogue
I quickly pulled my hand away from his and looked up to glare at McKinley. [i]Yeah, he was kind of an ass sometimes but… well, lets [b]not[/b] go into details on why I still hang around with him.[/i] I looked back at Nav, feeling quite regretful about everything. It took everything in me not to turn, run over to him and hug him. I’d never let him go, and there’d be no end to my apologies. The time since I first suspected his feelings for me to now ..that time seemed to stretch forever. I knew this--McKinley and I, hurt Nav deeply. Sighing softly, I shook my head and looked back over at McKinley. [b]”I’ve got personal business elsewhere. Maybe you can go watch the sunset and tell me bout it later. It’s almost your shift at the guard tower anyway, you need to go, McKinley.”[/b] I could see the mixed emotions in his face at my words-- anger and a bit of jealousy. He didn’t say anything though, just nodded, bowed and plastered his best smirk for me as he turned and walked down the hall toward the door, heading for --I assumed-- the front gate for his duty. Once he exited the building, I hesitantly turned and looked back at my friend. I couldn’t face him just yet, not right now.. so I decided to just act normal. Walking past the frozen Nav, I walked into our room and was suddenly attacked by Daxx with paws a’flyin and puppy kisses all over my arms and face. I laughed softly and told Daxx “down”, and he did just that. I walk over to the desk, pull out the chair and sit down, opening my journal book and beginning to write in an entry inside.

Navarro

I didn’t look at McKinley or Devereaux as she told him she had “personal” business. I didn’t watch as the man left, presumably to get ready for his guard shift. I was feeling overwhelmed, with both my own emotions and the emotions positively radiating from Lily. I watched as she brushed past me, headed towards our room, and I felt a sense of...regret? Loss? as she walked away. I wanted so much, right then, to grab her shoulders, spin her around, tell her how I felt, how much it pained me to see her off with the guards for “special services” every day. I wanted to speak all of this to her, to tell her that ever since we first met, I knew she was special, that when she saved my life, it changed me...I’d never been so close to death before, and it made me have a new outlook on things. Made me realize what I was missing...made me see that I looked at her as far more than a friend. And yet, here I am...not having told her a damn thing, yearning to spill my heart, but...unwilling? Afraid? Maybe a little bit of both? Whatever the case was, I let her pass without saying a word. Sighing deeply when she was out of sight, I blinked HARD, but a single tear still escaped, trickling down my cheek and falling to the floor. I took a moment to try and contain myself, but to little avail. At best, I stopped a floodgate from opening. 

Once I had managed to at least stem a bit of the emotion coursing through me, I walked into our room, and saw Devereaux writing something in her journal. Daxx, of course, wasn’t too far away. And Mila was lying on the bed, taking over the pillows like any self-respecting cat would. I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror, saw my eyes were still orange, though slightly less bright. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I sat down on my pull-out bed,staring over at Devereaux. [b]“So...hey,”[/b] I said, rather lamely, my voice trembling. [b]“What are you doing, Tiger-Lily,”[/b] I asked, which was even more lame than the “hey.” My voice was a few octaves lower too, and I was doing a piss-poor job of disguising how upset I was. Again, typical me, at least around her. Seems I couldn’t hide a damn thing from Devereaux, even if she hadn’t bit me. I pat my leg while awaiting her response, and Mila perked up, softly paddling across the bed and curling up in my lap, purring like a little motorboat. Gently stroking her fur, I let out a soft sigh, trying desperately to calm my inner wolf.

Rogue
I was singing a song in my head losing myself in my writing when I heard Nav finally come in. It took just a few short moments, but I heard him speaking to me and I could tell he was still quite upset. Even with the world turned to shit, no government and no real remains of military.. I still kept my values about myself and the involvement of men in the service. McKinley on the other hand, that was just a bit of fun here and there, no real commitment even though he wanted it to be.. I didn’t. I didn’t want to risk emotion getting in the way of mine and Nav’s friendship anyway, though without meaning to it’d seemed I’d already done just that. As I sat there pondering my response I’d give him, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had torn a small rift in our friendship.

As I turned my gaze on him, I mumbled softly, [b]”I’m just writing a quick journal entry.. you know I do this every night… normally I’ll go up to the tower and watch the sun set as I do it though.”[/b] Suddenly I think about the word “sunset” and remember what McKinley had offered, shaking my head and turning back to my page, writing the last of the entry and slowly closing the notebook, stashing it away inside the drawer of the desk. Without warning, I burst out saying, [b]”McKinley and I aren’t together-- or...anything.. It um.. stress reliever, I guess you could say. He thinks it’s more, but I don’t exactly see him as anything more..than….”[/b] I let my voice trail off as I sat back in shock, bowing my head in shame, forehead in my hand with my elbow on the desk. [i]Did I really just confess all that?....[/i]

Navarro

I tried not to notice or care that she said she usually watches the sunset. It did remind me of the moment before with McKinley but...I knew she liked those. I found myself more than a little surprised she turned him down, and was about to say something to her, about to tell her she should go enjoy the sunset, that I’d be alright….when she had a sudden outburst. [i]“McKinley and I aren’t together-- or...anything.. It um.. stress reliever, I guess you could say. He thinks it’s more, but I don’t exactly see him as anything more..than….”[/b] There was a long moment of silence as her voice trailed off, and I could see turmoil etched in her face, in her posture...and it tore me up seeing her like that. Maybe some part of me wanted to find relief that she didn’t have feelings for McKinley, not like that...but if I did, they were drowned out by the heartache of seeing Devereaux in such pain herself. Gently tossing Mila onto the bed, I walked over to her, lifting her chin to gaze into her eyes. [b]“Look it’s...not really any of my business anyway, Tiger-Lily...I...had no right to be upset. It’s just……”[/b] it was my turn to let my voice trail off, and leave the rest unspoken. Gently letting go of her chin, I turned away--I didn’t want her to see into my eyes, afraid of what she might realize if she had contact for too long. I didn’t want her to know what I felt. I wasn’t even sure why...I stared at my feet, back to my friend, unsure of how I should even proceed at this point, and my heart torn--wanting to go into two different directions at the same time.[/center]