[hr][hr][center][color=C30000][b]♥[/b][/color] 
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZrtSDmQOro][color=AB4E52]I hope you're dancing in the sky
I hope you're singing in the angel's choir
I hope the angels know what they have
I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived[/color][/url][/center]
[hr][hr]
[right][sub][color=dimgray][i]Will be running late
Hasn't arrived at the Border Tavern
Taking a moment of solitude, 
before she has to face everyone.[/i][/color][/sub][/right]
[center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/190629/d338408ea2840d5109e7163f114632ac.png[/img] [img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/190629/73412223ac3afb41d14c109378a5523f.png[/img] [img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/190629/c66762d0f078427e11107f2713b70d37.png [/img][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/190629/d338408ea2840d5109e7163f114632ac.png[/img]

[img]https://i.imgur.com/zuyDQHI.gif[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/l3qkoYH.png?1[/img]
[img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/190710/872aaafbb21e828ba8834333328b935b.png[/img][/center]
[indent]She knew exactly what she was going back to. Her heart was trying to convince her that this wasn't the truth. This was a practical joke. Roxanne, everybody's Foxy Roxy, her Firefly, was just playing hide-and-go seek. She wouldn't be waiting in a coffin. She wasn't in a sleep that she could never wake up from. She was just waiting to jump out and giggle '[i]surprise[/i]'! That's exactly it. If anyone was supposed to die first, it was going to be the one that didn't have a promising future. The one that had only the hope of her best friend pushing her forward. The one that shouldn't have made it past twenty one. Not the girl that used all her energy to cheer everyone on. Not the friend that put her problems to the side to listen to everyone else's. Not the woman that vowed to keep their memories strong. No matter the season, no matter how much some of it hurt, no matter how distant it all felt, Roxanne Williams was going to look back at each memory with fondness.  

[center][b]so... why world? [/b]

[b]why was this happening?[/b][/center] 
Standing still, holding her phone against her left ear, [url=http://www2.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Rose+Byrne+Adam+2009+Sundance+Portrait+Session+nLsBBTUIQRBl.jpg]Helena[/url], known in this town as Nellie, looked down at her mother's tombstone in [i]Gatling Memorial Park[/i]. She couldn't have a proper conversation with her mother when her phone was going off every five seconds. First from her second eldest brother, Griffin, who turned his life around, from a Class A Asshole to a bookseller at Gatling's ancient [i]Page Turners[/i]. A man that she could now say was humble, thanks to his wife, his three kids, and his lack of ambition. She didn't answer, letting him go straight to voicemail and in short, he was trying to get her to stay with him instead of the [i]After Eight[/i] motel. 

Next to follow were two emails, one which cordially invited her to a Save the Children ceremonial dinner, for her constant efforts and generous donations, and the other advertising this year's S.O.S 5k and where it would be held. Afterwards, to her surprise, Tucker, her other brother, who was god-knows-where putting his BFA in Accounting to waste, probably doing blow, and getting in more trouble than it was worth, texted her 'srry, nel. call me?'. How sweet. He actually reached out to her. That must mean he cares. Don't even get her started with the notifications on Facebook of people she hadn't talked to in years. 

[center][b]sorry for your loss.[/b]

[b]my condolences. [/b][/center] 
With her other hand, she held a letter and while she listened to the voice on the other line, she knelt down and reached for an [url=https://ebth-com-production.imgix.net/2017/09/06/09/03/05/47d6c09a-82e4-4bdc-b65b-89136edaee7a/file?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&w=880&h=880&fit=crop&crop=&auto=format]old kid's lunchbox[/url], worn and faded, hardly recognizable anymore, placed in front of the [url=http://elmhurstcemetery.org/images/cemetery-flowers.jpg]flower pot[/url] in between Vivian and Edwin Perfect. 

Her job hadn't contacted her since she left California, and for that she was thankful. And now? She was on the phone with Nolan Simmons, the man that couldn't love her in the way that she wanted him to, but never stopped showing he cared, [color=AB4E52]"Yes... I'll call you if I get bad. Nols, honestly. I'm okay. I'm not going to lie to you. It hurts like a bitch but it hasn't really hit me yet. Like fully? It's just surreal to be back. The last time I visited was, I think, two years ago. Mhm, yeah, yeah, that's when."[/color] When she placed the letter inside the box, her eyes rested on her mother's name, [color=AB4E52]"What? When do I think I'll be back...? You know I don't have an answer for that. You— your husband wants to plan a dinner for me?"[/color] Well, his husband needed to get a life and not fucking pester her. [color=AB4E52]"Ah, that's sweet. Tell him thanks and that when I figure it out, I'll let you both know."[/color] Fuck that.  [color=AB4E52]"I told you already my therapist helped me get approved for FMLA, so, yeah. I'm not going to be thinking about a return date just yet."[/color] People never knew when to shut the fuck up. [color=AB4E52]"Nolan I got to— what? You got to go? I was just going— Okay. Okay. Yeah, I know."[/color] Fucking hang up already. [color=AB4E52]"Okay. Uh-huh. Sure thing. Talk to you later. Bye."[/color] Was he always this annoying and self centered? 

Closing her eyes, Ms. Perfect took a deep breath in and then out, before opening them and looking at the headstone, [color=AB4E52]"Mom, could you excuse me?"[/color] The next motions were swift and with no hesitation. She stood up and forcibly darted her phone in a direction, almost hitting an angelic statue of a child. It flew past it, inches away, and crashed into the trunk of a remarkable-looking [url=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f8/14/7e/f8147ec2e2c42b737e68ebbd841633c9.jpg]tree[/url] causing the screen to shatter even more than it already had due to past incidents and for the battery to fly out. Feeling a little better about herself, she knelt back down and focused in on what she needed to do, [color=AB4E52]"Mom, is she up there dancing? I'd love for a sign to know that you both are happy. That 'God' didn't take you both too soon. But, I guess, since she's with you... I'll be fine. I'll try to pick up where she left off. I'll try to help..."[/color] 

The more and more Nellie talked, the more her voice shook and as if she tried to keep it all in, the tears started pouring out and her attention went to the sky, [color=AB4E52]"Roxy, why didn't you ask me to come home? Why didn't you ask me to take care of you?"[/color] Why didn't you let me worry? Now... [color=AB4E52]"Now, what? Now you expect me to go see your dead body?"[/color] Now I have to walk in that place and see all these faces that will remind me of you. [color=AB4E52]"I don't know if I can."[/color] I don't know if I'm strong enough. [color=AB4E52]"I don't know..."[/color] Her hands covered her face and for the first time, since she found out, she let herself cry. 

She hadn't checked the time, and now she couldn't. 

She most likely was going to be late.[/indent]