Even when Lunise took a hold of one of her hands, Meesei did not lift up her gaze. "I just...do not know. I feel like everything I once thought I knew about myself is wrong, or [i]could[/i] be wrong. And even if I do deserve the afterlife I was promised...does that even matter? Do I even have a choice but to accept my destruction?" 

Meesei finally lifted up her head and looked around the room, her gaze particularly lingering on the carvings in the stonework. "You said your mother wanted me to join the Psijic Order? On any other day, I might have been elated at the very thought, but...I do know what it means to join the order. That at least implies there could exist a way to fix my soul, but could she even really know that for certain? Has anyone like me ever existed before? Or is it just guesses that could steal away my life for no benefit? I suppose this is really why they are allowing us to stay here a few days: to give me my time to think. I do agree with you, the thought of abandoning my life feel inconceivable, but..."

Any hint of Meesei's usual confidence seemed to have been thoroughly erased from Meesei's demeanor. At the moment, she was doubting herself and her own abilities in a way that Lunise had never seen from her since the day they met. Even when she had doubts about the future or the safety of those she cared for, about which she had certainly confided to Lunise in the past, her confidence had remained. Only now was she starting to seem truly and completely demoralized. "...if my power, all my growth and progress over the years, has really been nothing but memories I had to be reminded of, then what hope do I have of actually solving a [i]new[/i] problem?"