“Come one, come all, ”The announcer declared, queuing the lights on deck to gyrate in a nonsensical lightshow, and see tonight’s event.  Before us on the grand deck, we have Isaac, AKA Lucky, AKA Bounty hunter to mid-tier pirate the world over.  Isaac stands accused by Guybro of kidnapping, extreme violence, and haircutting without consent” The crowd booed in unison as Isaac entered the arena with his handed firmly surrounding to the accusation.  He thought the noise drag on forever, if not for the silence that came when Guybro, a scrawny rocker with pink mohawk, a considerable chunk missing, entered the arena.

“Not cool, dude, I’ve been grown this thing out since the pirate era began!”

“You were right,” Sasa hissed behind him, “we should have cut the whole thing.”

“Sasa,” Isaac muttered, pushing her down with his hand, “Keep the jokes for after we get out of this.  “Alright,” he announced to the crowd, doubling down on the ignorance defense, “my bad.  Did I try to capture you? Sure.  Did I try to sell you to what I thought was the Navy?  Definitely.  Is it really a big deal?  Not really.”

“Yes really,” another voice called out, producing a man and women from behind the curtain.

“Here we goo,” the announcer blasted, elevating the crowd.  “Joining us today we have a special treat for you all, two Marines on siesta, Wiggs and Bedge, the terrifying duo, accusing Isaac of human trafficking, carrying an exotic pet without a permit, luuuuuude behavior from said pet, and harshing their vibeeee.”

The crowd roared again, and Sasayaki erupted towards them, forcing Isaac to anchor the chain to his wrist.  “Hold me back,” she screamed.  “I’ll rip these posers limb to limb!”

“I swear I have a permit for her somewhere,” Isaac teased, pulling the chain back to him, Sasayaki coiled in his left hand, sickle in the right.  “But I guess we have to do this all again,” he smirked.

“Get ready,” the announcer hype.  “Get setttttt,” he dragged.  “Andddddddd, FIIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTTTTTT!"

The crowd erupted in a roar, energizing the fighters on deck, each taking a moment to be the heroes the pirates thought them to be.  Unfortunately, Isaac had other ideas.  “Sasa?”

The light grew from within the blunted lanturn.  “They are loud, aren’t they.”

Isaac smiled as he gripped the chain.  “Hush,” he declared, the word siphoning even the faintest peep from the area, energy pouring into the chain and feeding Sasayaki’s light.  The two marines looked at each other, bewildered, before regaining their composure signaling each other to charge.  Isaac stayed in place, letting the pair come to him to him when he finally broke the silence, “And BOOM,” he shouted, Sasayaki coiling forward, channeling the noise she stole in blast that knocked the two into the air and off the ship.

“Unbelievable,” the announcer called out.  “For those of you listening at home, we did not, I repeat, did not experience technical difficulties.  No no no, I can in fact confirm, that the sound appeared to be ripped out of the docks, and subsequently thrown back in, double KO’ing the honorable Marine duo.  Who is this scarleton that washed up on our shores?  Why don’t we all find out together!?”

“Alright,” Isaac nodded, still disoriented from this morning.  “Should we, I don’t know, finish this?”

“Isaac,” she whined, her chain moving from the wave, to a pseudo flex.  “This is finally getting exciting!”

“Yeah, but I’m starving, and we can’t steal anymore food until we deal with this guy.”

‘Hey,” Guybro yelled from across the ship.  “I heard that!  And you’re not going to get away with any of this, you.. you.. you swindle!”

Sasayaki looked back.  “You hear that?  Those are shaving words.  CAN I?” she pleaded, hopping up and down like a metallic mutt.  “Please?”

Isaac sighed, lacking the will to deny her, instead, approaching Guybro with the speed of a snail, forcing him back to the ship’s edge in a hurry.  “I’m really sorry about this, but you have to know, that thing looks ridiculous."

“And there you have it folks, KO by shave.  I’ll tell you what, never in my life have I see such a clean cut mid battle, and that’s saying something.  It seems this rapscallion lives to fight another day, but what’s this?  It appears he is holding a sigh.  ‘Will work for food and ride,’ it say.  You heard it first here, this guy wants out, and we could not be happier!”