[quote=@Roman]
[@Hillan], as promised. 

-A few minor grammatical errors, mostly around the use of apostrophes, and the sentences can feel a little awkward and stilted at times. Watch your repetition and your syntax; break up your dialogue with a new line for each speaker. The storytelling is sound but there is an occasional stumble that pulls the reader out of it. Of course, this may very well be due to english not being your native language.

-Eobard’s characterization is exceptional. I especially enjoy how well you portray a man who knows the future yet plays along with the story. It’s an interesting meta-narrative of sorts, and it’s entertaining. It isn’t often the audience shares their dramatic irony with the characters in the story.

-Post 4/5, ‘Blur’, look up Vantablack. Thank me later. The villain is interesting. I don’t have much knowledge about Flash’s rogues beyond the obvious and what the show utilized, so it’s fun having you present someone/something I have zero preconceptions about as your first antagonist.

-While I enjoy the use of the wider rogues and their ability to surprise Thawne - Thawne’s hubris, by the way, is riveting to read and thoroughly enjoyable - the pacing feels too fast, even for a Flash story. We go from Thawne defeating his first rogue, which was an anomaly in itself that’s never really addressed, to being accosted by arguably Flash’s 4 biggest rogues in one night and offing one of them in the process. It feels off putting somewhat. 

-Thawne’s motivation pivot from ‘I’m better than Barry’ to ‘I love Nora’ is the start of a beautiful redemption story and maybe the first time we can feel sympathy for this man who is otherwise violent, arrogant, sociopathic, and fuelled by hatred. It’s a lovely turning point in Thawne’s development, and it’s such a shame that there were zero hints or nods or vague foreshadowing or brief exploration of the depth of Thawne’s character before this entrapment. It’s clear there’s an internal battle between the man who survived on hatred and the man who wanted to love, and I really, really want to see more of it. 

-All in all it’s an entertaining story that sometimes can be difficult to read with a few out-of-the-blue character turns. Fun, but missing finesse. Feels like perhaps you’re flying by the seat of your pants a tad? If you haven’t already, try a skeleton for your plot direction and use that as a reference tool. 
[/quote]

Thanks buddy. I do agree with all of the critique. Some of the pieces aren't putting themselves together properly. Though, I changed from Thawne seemingly struggling with handling Shade, to him dealing with the brunt of the Rogues with great ease on purpose. He knows the Rogue's playbooks inside and out. He's fought them, he's used them, he's lead them and he's killed them all time and time before. But, I guess I've not been quite able to hit the mark in that regard.

I do know about Vantablack. Good times, really cool stuff. I was gonna go into a deeper explanation about Shade's powers from Cisco and Doctor Wells, but I felt that was coming off far too CW-y for my taste. The entire point of Thawne being Flash is that he does not need 'quarterbacking'. He's already (Or at least thinks) he's smarter than everyone else. Which, of course, is gonna end up biting him in his ass. Though, there'll be more opportunity for explanation of Shade's powers in the future.

As for foreshadowing his relationship with Nora, I've thrown in some lines in earlier posts that hints at it, but they're pretty vague and might not make a lot of direct sense.

I think the pacing issues are largely due to the fact that the majority of my posts are written at 4 AM when I have class at 8. 
Thanks for the feedback buddy, always appreciated.