"Jacob..." she breathed. It had been ages ago, but she still remembered his name. "All this time it..." The thought was dizzying, and she even put her free hand to  her forehead. She'd always known about the influence of the tree. But the whole idea of it was so abstract, so huge, that she never really came to terms with it in a real and tangible way. She never really had the chance to. She did now. It came at her like a wave, strong and powerful but not crushing, not bad. Just...immense. What else had been influenced by the tree? 

She was trying hard just to breathe. There was so much to take in, and so many emotions to sort through... "I've always been wrong," she explained. "Too unwieldy. Too dirty, too rough, too outspoken, too quick to anger, too poor. And every time I'd get a leg up, every time something good would happen it would get...ruined by something else. I wanted to leave Atahkara, and so I became an eija. I was a law keeper and that was honorable. But I was too good at it. So I became Eija-Alihn. And I killed people. Not all of them were bad people. Not all of them were guilty. And so I found a way to fix that too. In return I got branded a traitor, my ojih is stained with the blood I have spilled and I have lost the home I love. I had to leave the man I love, I had to protect him. If they thought he was involved they might have killed him too, they would have ruined him! I couldn't let them do that. Not to him. I got this vision to come find Darin and they let me live for it, but I spent the last four months in exile, never knowing if I would find her or ever see home or--" She clamped her mouth shut. She knew who had damaged her. Her life had always been a struggle but those things did not damage her. Khaltira did. 

An anger rose within her, a kind of fist-clenching, teeth-grinding rage that only comes with long rooted bitterness. "She took me in! She treated me well, fed me, housed me, she was part of the reason I met Ajoran. She earned my trust, my unwavering, unfailing trust and she betrayed all of it. She betrayed me. And when I begged her to see reason she struck me and sent me away like a dog. She ruined everything I ever worked for, everything I held dear. I want to see her grave. I want to spit on it. Khaltira damaged me in a way I can never forgive." 

She took a few breaths to calm herself, though she wasn't exactly calm. She was emotional, though she was trying to let go of some of the anger and frustration she felt. It wasn't directed at the Tree anyway. "With all respect, Great Tree, my Sol, You've got it wrong. I didn't WANT to leave Darin. The only thing I ever wanted was for this to go well. But I had so much shame. I thought that no one who is good and pure could forgive and love a creature as wretched as me. I offered to leave because I Thought she would cast me out anyway, and I thought to at least go with dignity. But I never wanted to go. If I thought she might keep me I never would have even considered betraying the vow I made to protect her. I simply could not see any other option. My judgement was poor, I know that now. I regret that night. More than I regret the death of Khaltira, Innyise, and Takhun. More than anything in the world, Sol, I do not wish to disappoint you."