[quote] Her mask bears an almost arachnid-like configuration, with four glowing red-orange panels where the eye slits are (these are manufactured using the shattered remains of her father’s kyber crystals, allowing her to channel the Force into them to achieve the menacing glowing effect. [/quote]
This bit about using the Force to make them glow is fairly illogical. We'd recommend just skipping that and keeping them neat and glowy from regular ol' tech. The Kyber crystal basis for them is unusual but not overly problematic.


most likely, "information packets", as you labeled them, would not be delivered by an apprentice directly to the Dark Council, but rather sent up the system, we'd recommend tweaking it so that rather than delivering directly, she passed them up the system so that they eventually got into the hands of the Dark Council. No doubt you can figure out a good phrasing.

Tweak those two elements above, and we're thinkin' the sheet is pretty close to done, [@The Elvenqueen]