This review will not cover the elements that Sini has covered. Instead, it will delve into two aspects that Sini asked us to check up on: her knowledge of the Force and her knowledge of lightsaber techniques. When we look at a sheet, we don’t look at how long or short it is. We look at what it contains. It doesn’t matter to us if it is two hundred words or five thousand. What matters to us is what the player achieves with those words and how easily understood it is. Quality, not quantity. We like details on sheets, but not if it comes at a cost to comprehensibility or is used to hide elements that would make the character overpowered. Same goes for layout. Both as a player and as a GM we’re not particularly happy if we have to go searching through the entire sheet if we need to look something up while composing a post. Hence, ease of use being given high value. [hr] Anyways. The Force. Your table for Force skills is confusing. [hider=table copy for reference][img]https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/213019211407032320/606712359288832010/unknown.png[/img][/hider] In the Guide to the Force, we have two rows for skill: trained and talent. It is intended that only a single option be picked for each Force power. The Trained column implies there was no innate talent, and the power was gained only through hard work. The Talented column implies the character had an innate understanding of the power that may since have also had training / practice to bring it whatever standard it currently is. We apologise if this was not clear on the Guide. [hr] Additionally, your Sith is extremely and unnaturally knowledgeable about the Force for her age. [u]Going by the first skill level column:[/u] You have three techniques with advanced training, five with intermediate training and nine with basic/novice training. Normal training for reaching advanced skill in a technique is at least a decade of training. At twenty-three years old, having three techniques at that level in addition to everything else is beyond all plausibility. [u]Going by the second skill level column:[/u] The second skill level column is even less plausible. There you have five well-trained talents [i]and[/i] one mastered talent. The estimated time for learning one technique to well-trained levels is at least a decade, maybe two with a master combined with considerable self-study. A mastered technique requires several decades of study provided the Force user is doing anything other than studying that single technique. At twenty-three years old, you have the skill of someone close to a hundred years old. It goes without saying that doesn’t even remotely make sense. [hr] If you look in the Guide to uses for the Force, you will see at the top of each “advanced uses” section there is a note that adding one of them to a sheet requires GM approval. This is primarily due to how powerful they can be, and because of how game-breaking they might be. We’ve not seen any such requests. It is noteworthy that you have not listed Telekinesis as a known technique, but that can be assumed to be an oversight. Without a good grasp of that, learning more advanced forms such as telekinetic whirlwind, force choke and the like would obviously be impossible. Force Stealth is a technique that is taught at need only, as it is something both Jedi and Sith don’t want just anyone playing around with. Your description of battle meditation doesn’t match how the technique works. As such, we will ask that you remove all four advanced techniques from the sheet. [hr] You seem to also have secondary tables with force techniques, several of them too rare. All that does is make things even more confusing. We would greatly appreciate it if you could rephrase the whole force section into something basically along this basic format: List of known techniques and level of training or talent. Description of her skill with the various known techniques. Right now, the layout of this section is far too muddled to be something we can approve. In that process, you should also cut down on the number of techniques known and have no more than a third of the known techniques be innate talents. Think about the character as a whole when choosing what to keep and what to discard. What would benefit her style? Don’t just look at the technique list as a pool to pick as much as you might want from. Should you discover in the IC that she really benefits from a certain technique not on the sheet, she will have the ability to learn it from someone that knows it. You may apply for at most one technique from the advanced lists, but it will have to be explained well and fit in with the character as a whole to be approved of. [hr] [hr] [h3]Lightsaber[/h3] We will assume that the lack of basic telekinesis training on the Force power list was an oversight… However even with this being the case, Telekinetic Lightsaber Combat is well and truly outside the reach of such a young character. It requires incredible telekinetic finesse, incredible long term telekinetic focus and a good deal of raw telekinetic strength to execute correctly. The combination of these things is not something anyone below Lord could feasibly have mastered to a usable degree. Even a Sith Lord would have to be a Telekinetic prodigy for this to work. [quote=Guide: Lightsaber combat]A Tràkata strike is the act of turning a lightsaber off and on again mid-strike to bypass the opponent’s weapon. It is an inherently dangerous technique, for while it lets the user bypass the opponent’s weapon, it also leaves the user completely open to attacks. Because it requires the blade momentarily disappearing, it is not something that is possible with any other bladed weapon. Used right and it can instantly maim, critically injure or kill an opponent. Used wrong and the user gets that treatment instead. As such, it is a strike that most Jedi and Sith alike do not attempt to learn. [/quote] The types of users who learn this are either masters of the lightsaber, who know just when to use it, or particularly devious combatants who take the risk it involves. Your character comes across as neither of these. It is not a technique that in any way can be considered reliable for victory in combat, due to the high chance of backfiring. Its potentially immediately lethal nature is also something we will pay close attention to - no one likes their character being instantly killed by an unblockable strike, and so in most cases it will be up to the one on the receiving end how much damage they take from such a hit. [hr] [hr] Additionally, we would like you to add a section for flaws. The reason that is in the sheet templates is so that players and GMs alike can easily reference it while writing posts without having to read the entire sheet.