[@LeeRoy] "HRAH!! Fine hike that was! What be this, a festival?" Gonad clambered into the courtyard, soaked in sweat. He jogged past a lounging goddess, casually yoinking her toga right off her body and toweling off with it. She blushed and looked away, refusing to meet the eyes of her fuming god-husband who just so happened to be both bald and beardless. Gonad waddled up to a table, flossing with the toga to dry his loins. It made squeaky noises. He seized a hoblet of wine and cocked his head back, downing the sucker whilst tossing the toga over a shoulder and into the nude goddess's lap. "Now that thirst of Gonad is quenched, Gonad must drop ballast! If not, never will Gonad reach village for dinner with wives next month." He picked up a peach, examining it. "A girly fruit! Gonad needs PROTEIN!" In a bound he was on the table, platters clattering, wine spilling, and peaches tumbling, his tassets and loincloth around his ankles. He kicked them off the table and squatted down resolutely. Silence Then... A concerned grunt, strained at the end. Thighs tensed, Gonad began to strain. Some stared in utter bafflement. Others squeezed their eyes shut and looked away. It started with a raw, dumpy fart, one that stank like rancid eggs. A great looping coil of rich brown poo decorated the peaches like tinsel on a Christmas tree, spindling into a fat pile of fudge. Gonad cast his eye up to the heavens, a single vein throbbing between his eyes, face slowly turning red from the effort. A space in the clouds opened, and as if by divine intention a ray of bright sunlight fell upon him like a spotlight. "Grrruuuhaaawwww!" A thick malodour packed the air, pressing in on everyone's sinus cavities like an encroaching wall of stench. It just kept churning out. Flecks of shit suddenly shotgunned out of the barbarian's ass to the accompaniment of a sharp bout of stuttering flatulence, dung-speckling the fruits of the gods. Gonad groaned and took a step forwards, the tendons in his neck straining as a colossal log emerged from his recrum. It plowed directly onto a single, solitary peach, velvety and pure... The peach was squashed unceremoniously with a table shaking thud, the doorstopper turd reducing it to a pulp under a pile. "Now Gonad can make good time!" He was mindblowingly oblivious to the company he was in.