[h2]Feedback Friday![/h2]

[hider - Frygga]

[@Amaranth]
Honestly? First thought when I saw this was "NYAAAAAS!" because, thusfar I've only really known you to play younger characters - positive ones and it's like I knew a character like this was in you. Whenever I'm scrolling Pinterest and I see a picture like that, I always think of you, every time. To me, you're such a powerful spirit and you've managed to really leak this onto the page for Frygga, and like, I'm honestly moved by this sheet no lie.

I'm so proud of you, and this sheet is some great writing and it shows how much you've improved in the relatively short time I've known you. I tell you what, I can tell this character has come from a place of power. 

I adore this description of a lupine gait. You're not afraid to make a real ballsy woman and it's something I wish I could do. I always fall on pretty and petite characters - but you don't shy away from making a character less than attractive and going so far as to write that in the sheet. You really care about your characterisation and you have such integrity to your writing, and you hold onto that integrity too. Never lose that.

She's not womanly at all, and because of that she absolutely is - because what defines femininity anyway? I love your representation of diverse and powerful women, and it's something I've always enjoyed from you - even just talking OOC you're so assured of your own. It's one of the many things I admire about you <3

She's such a Viking god damn. "The firm but loving yoke of her parents." - simple as fuck, effective as fuck. Paints the picture clear as day and says so much about her. (Thank you for adding supernatural horror too!). Her suspicion and weariness of it is going to be very interesting to have in the roleplay, sorry but I'm going to have to mess with her! Your description of her battle is lovely and could be fresh off the page of a book. Can't wait for her to have a wrestle with Dro boy. 

Something I'm missing from the sheet is how she'll be with the new companions that she will, in mysterious circumstances, be lumped with. How is she, socially? I know that you describe her as enjoying drinking etc but that's not always going to be possible. How might she act with people of other races and lifestyles? Does she make friends easily? Does she ever show affection? Has she ever had a crush or is she purely a "no time for that shit!" woman. 

Saying that, I would love to see her find a softer side (during the RP) beyond the hrrrg and grrrgh cover. It doesn't mean sacrificing the essence of what she is, simply expanding and developing with the influence of others around her. Her mind and eyes opening to other aspects of femininity, and equally too - that she can teach those around her what it means to be FUCKIN' NORD.


*I'm willing to let you drop the light armour skill - it feels rather moot in my opinion for an rp atmosphere, so feel free to pick up another skill in place of. (By the looks of it, marksman to fit with her throwing axes)

- ooh that gives me a hecking idea. What if she learned a skill slot in magic in the roleplay? I'm picturing a Badass Moment™ - she's maybe about to be beaten - or she's cornered and then WHAM BAM ALAM, she lights up her weapon with some MAGIIIIIICAL FIIIRE and goes all ham. Anyway, that came to my brain and gave me a goosebump. Ticks the box of her goal of being worthy, but let's be honest - she's worthy.

I'd be happy for you to post her in the character tab on Wednesday after working through the feedback a bit :)

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[hider - Dances-in-Milk]

[@Scrub Mage]
I dislike using comparison between writers. I strongly believe that everyone has their own style and voice and should be praised for that, but much of what I really loved about Spoopy's sheet are what I like about yours as well. You have such a phenomenal descriptive voice. To the point where not only can I see Xae, I can smell him, hear him... It's really well done, and I feel like this was easy for you, like you were just sitting and had a thought that cracked a smile and then the rest came from that. God I'm so jealous. On that basis alone you should be banned from this roleplay! (Kidding)

It's always the little details that I hone in on as a reader, in his appearance section it was that Xae's clothes smell like salts, and that the way he walks is like hot coals over hot coals. It's just genius. I'm a very sensory kind of person, especially when reading and Xae's sheet to me is like written ASMR, as weird as that sounds. I just feel at ease reading your writing. 

You don't overwrite anywhere on this sheet and it's succinct enough and well paced, but just littered with those small details that make it come alive and make it satisfying. It's clear that he's an older soul and that his experiences and thoughts will be very valuable to the group, he carries himself as an older person would and you don't shrink from making that known. 

The story of his name is classical, and poetic. I felt emotional that he couldn't help the Miredancer. I'm left unsure of whether it was true altruism and desire to help - do hi job, or a bit of arrogance that made him take on the case. "Nobody else can do it, I can", I like to believe it was arrogance and it backfired (literally) on him, I think that's so poignant. His goal is realistic, and another one that could be achieved within the roleplay - it's on the surface very simple and scholarly almost but it has a much deeper emotional resonance with him which I really dig. 

This is a really solid sheet, and I can't think of anything I would massively change about it, but I'd like to let it sit before anything is posted in the tab on Wednesday.

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