[h2]Feedback Friday![/h2]

[hider - Drujha]

[@Lauder]
I like Druhja as she is, I just don't think this roleplay will like Druhja as she is. Her personality is going to be quite tough with the party. Some of her personality traits are a bit contradictory too; she kind of sees people as objects and they can't offer her anything, and yet she also doesn't want to drive people away. I think sometimes this kind of duality works, so I'd like you to explain that a bit more. Argonian's can be real kooky characters, so maybe look into some race traits for ways to explain her severely fickle nature. 

What really made her kill Walks-in-Master and how did she? He seems like he would be powerful. What was their relationship like beforehand, it's not touched on much for being such a big part of her life. I think this is worth exploring more, how did he teach her? What made him decide to? Was she perhaps just naturally talented and he sensed it?

The history is very full on, and is event after event. For this roleplay, really scaling that down will be more effective. Her ordeal with the cult of Molag Bal is not too explained. She watched them and then was captured in the space of a sentence. It's very spitfire and boom boom boom, and doesn't touch so much on the emotional impacts.

[b]An idea to consider;[/b]
Lean on Drujha's age, possibly make her younger. Make her innocent, sweet, naive - because just because that's the surface, doesn't mean it's the truth. I enjoy writing the most when I'm playing a character that's corrupt as all hell, but you just don't know it to look at them. They're sweet as pie - "what? young Drujha is trying to control Daedra?! I don't believe it!" I think that's more impactful than "Oh yeah, now I come to think of it, that was obvious." You say that she is cunning? What's more cunning than adopting a completely fake persona to hide in plain sight?

Something else that has been tapping at my brain is her having the ability to conjure a Dremora Lord. Yeah yeah, it's in my criteria because it's an expert skill - but sometimes I think that the games don't always translate over and this is one of those times. My idea would be that we change her goal. Currently her goal is very abstract and not something I see happening for her in the course of the roleplay - what if her goal was to learn to summon Dremora Lord? That way she's not completely an expert conjurer of creepy dank stuff, but she's on her way. What if in this RP you can write that story, alongside the other player characters? That's where it feels right for me. Perhaps we start Druhja's story in this roleplay shortly after she has killed Walks-in-Water?

There are some grammatical and syntax issues in the sheet also, I can send you a sheet copy with highlights if required - but give it a once over. My rule of thumb when using Daedra or daedra is to pick one and be consistent throughout. 

Mostly, I don't want you to be discouraged by my feedback. I believe that there is something in this sheet that will become a character that is suitable for this roleplay. A quote that springs to mind is this;

[quote]You just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.[/quote]

Chip away at the sheet and find the core parts of Drujha and then build from there. Ask for help :) 

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