Luke was not expecting her response, but he was glad that she did speak. Truth be told, he was not equipped to handle trauma patients. He wasn’t even qualified to tell her that he understood what she was going through, because in reality he barely remembered what it felt like to be in her shoes. To say that he was young when the tragedy hit him was not a lie, but for somebody like him who was born to royalty, there were means to skip the difficult part. The queen had made that decision for the traumatized boy who tried to keep a straight face but cried and screamed at night when he was trapped in his own nightmares. He thought that maybe talking about it would help her, admitting or even hinting that there was somebody else who had gone through the same pain might encourage her to heal.

The fingers he entwined with hers tightened as her loosened, as if telling her to hold on. With the brace restricting the mobility of his upper body, he turned just his face to her. “You failed them how? By not dying in that petty excuse for a clinic?” He frowned at her conclusion. She had no idea yet, because he had no time to tell her everything back at the clinic, but a faction of the rebellion was after the bad image her untimely demise would bring to the ruling house. The Palace Intelligence deducted that the premature elimination of the princess elect, after the masses’ warm reception of her, would not only hurt the palace’s capability to protect its people, but also reflect poorly on the crown prince who was known to have been in a relationship with the actress Sophia Keller. 

Should he tell her everything? Half of him wanted her to know everything, because maybe it would ease the guilt that she was feeling, but the other half still wanted to keep her in the dark. 

“If there is anybody you failed today, it will be your driving instructor.” The keep-her-in-the-dark half won. It was cruel to burden her with the thought that the people she thought she could save, held on to the hope that she would meet her end sooner than necessary, that these people would do anything in their power to accomplish the mission, that they saw her as a tool to reach a milestone – not even a goal – but a step towards the realization of one. 

Luke kept his face solemn, though the corner of his lips twitched, and his eyes were a little brighter. He slightly bowed her head in mock reverence. “With all due respect, princess, you are a horrible, horrible driver. When I gave you the keys, I didn’t imagine that you will dash like the devil was on our heels.” The wind on his hair, the otherwise scenic route, were both overtaken by the fear that gripped his chest with the way she handled dangerous uphill curves and downhill descent. It was like riding a roller coaster without the reassurance of the rails and its periodic safety checks.  

“Maybe it really is your fault,” Luke mused. He would give her what she wanted – his acknowledgment of her guilt. The same sentiment was repeated over and over again on different conversations at different places. It would not leave her alone or she did not want to let it go. She did not want to believe the many times he told her that she was not at fault. What better thing to do than acknowledge that everything that happened that morning was because of her. “Because of your horrible driving skills. If you had not let excitement rule over you, then we would not be in that clinic, we would not be in danger, and they might still be alive. Better yet, if you had picked the right pill and did not intentionally hope to sedate me, then we could have refused to be moved to that clinic and waited for rescue instead.”

A memory flashed in his mind – the storm pounding on the SUV’s roof, the tiny droplets doing their best to leap onto their skin and clothing, the lightning that lit the sky above the canopy of leaves, her blouse made translucent by the rain, her cold skin, and the urgency of her lips against his. The prince had to look away. The injured thigh was stretched before him, reminding him that he should ask for change of clothes before somebody else thought he was starting a fashion trend. 

Mustering the confidence that came with the title, he cleared his throat. The next words he spoke were detached, as if he was truly pronouncing a court sentence. “Therefore, I shall not tell the doctor that you are fine with your sling. A punishment cannot be as merciful as that. You are to allow the doctors to do as they please, when they please, without physical or verbal protest. This serves as your punishment. Do you have any questions, princess?” He smiled for her a lopsided smile that had none of the seriousness of his tone. Luke figured that perhaps it would be effective to use her self-reproach against her irrational distrust to medical practitioners, thus appointing the impending procedure as a fitting punishment for the wrong she thought she did.