Yikes, these reviews are a bit sloppy, but I didn't have a lot of time to write them. [hider=alone] I’d like to comment on how you handled the fear itself, but I glanced over Hank’s vote and had the entire thing spoiled for me. So I probably didn’t get to feel the full effect like most non-hank-post-reading people will get to do. But I can say it was an interesting concept, taking something as mundane as being alone and making it scary. It’s a fear we’ve all had at some point I think. I’d vary my word usage a bit next time however. The first sentence has “the sun gave off a pleasant warmth and a gentle breeze gave just enough cooling.” If the sun gave off something, maybe the gentle breeze could provide, lend, bestow, etc. There’s also the part where he hears the car move and “He turned to one side, listening to the silence in his room. He turned to his other side. He turned on his back and looked to the ceiling, but soon he turned to his side again.” I feel like all that turning could just have been described with “He shifted around on his mattress to examine every square inch of his room.” or something to that effect. [/hider] [hider=Journal of Alexi Kravinov] The writing was pretty clean, save for that part where you put the period outside the quotations marks. It read very naturally without any “bumps” or things of that nature. On the story front, it was just a dude talking about how he might off himself. I would have preferred to experience someone considering suicide, or recalling a time they almost did it. Make things a bit more tense.[/hider] [hider=The Darkness Within] I’m glad we had a more traditional entry in this contest. Werewolves are always cool. We all struggle with our inner beasts, and werewolves are unfortunate enough to have outer beasts as well. The paragraphs are oddly spaced. You don’t always have to double space paragraphs, but you do have to indent them if that’s the route you want to take. I also felt the pacing was a bit off. The action scenes were over too soon, and I don’t feel the darkness had enough time to properly build up the temptation. [/hider] [hider=Muh Vote] [b]Alone[/b][/hider]