[h3][sub] OoC  [/sub][/h3]
What is this bit about a vampire? That doesn’t look relevant to this setting.

Should it happen, how would you be with maiming of your character and/or death?

[h3][sub]Appearance[/sub][/h3]
Not a requirement, but do you have a picture for your character?

We recommend that you describe some of how this eye issue affects him in the flaw section, as that is likely where other players will check for it if they’re RPing with/against your character.

The flow of the paragraph seems a bit… off. It feels somewhat disjointed. Lots of individual sentences, rather than a single whole.

A small suggestion for you is perhaps to split the description in three.
🔸Basic body shape and stature (height, musculature, etc.)
🔸nuances (facial features, prominent scars, that eye, etc.)
🔸Armor/clothes/equipment — Does he always wear his armor? Is it worn/damaged/pristine/etc? What color is it?

[h3][sub] Skills & training sections [/sub][/h3]
This section is missing a lot about what skills he has, and why he has them.
Jedi are only faster than others when they channel the Force for speed. We imagine that you meant this more as his being in peak physical condition, right?

Is he proficient with all blaster pistols? Rifles? Sniper weapons? Rocket launchers? Disruptors?
Grenades?

Can he pilot vehicles/ships? If yes, which types?
How is he with computers and the like?
Is he good or bad at talking with people? (With your RL situation, perhaps you could play especially on poor communication skills?)

How good is he as a medic?

etc.

[h3][sub] Rivals/enemies [/sub][/h3]
So he supports the Mandalore in keeping the alliance with the Sith and is definitely not fond of the Jedi?

How does he feel about the small faction of mandalorians who seek to work with the Republic and/or Jedi rather than the Empire?

Any particular individuals he sees as rivals or enemies? (typically, PCs)

[h3][sub] Associates [/sub][/h3]
You covered mandalorian associates decently, though more detail would always be welcome.

Does he have any Sith Associates? If so, who? (PCs, particularly)

[h3][sub] Ownerships [/sub][/h3]
It would be nice if you could list up at least some of what he owns. Define it more clearly, so to speak.

[h3][sub] Psychological evaluation [/sub][/h3]
This doesn’t say much about him as a person. Is he partially insane? If so, how do you think that affects his standing in Mandalorian society?

The present-day mandalorians are led by a Mandalore, the one you have listed as his associate. As such, it would be a bit odd for him to not see the need for just that type of leader.

[h3][sub] Flaws [/sub][/h3]
It would be good if you could elaborate more on his flaws and how they affect him.
Both physical and mental flaws.

[h3][sub] Interests [/sub][/h3]
So he has an interest in history and mandalorian origins. Any other interests?

[h3][sub] successes [/sub][/h3]
[code]Location and subsequent infiltration of a small Jedi installation.[/code]
When? Where?
[code]Dodged a Sith's lightining strike.[/code]
Why would a Sith blast lightning at him?
[code]Organized the Cor'a clan and slaughtered several other clans.[/code]
What would lead to the fight between his clan and those others? Elaborate, please.

[h3][sub] Failures [/sub][/h3]
[code]Benji entered an inmate block's control room.[/code]
How is this a failure?
[code]He almost got himself killed when he challenged a group of Hutts to a gun fight.[/code]
Elaborate please. Why would he do this? Why were the hutts together, or interested in gunfight with him?

[h3][sub] Interview [/sub][/h3]
The feel of this bio is much like the feel of the appearance section. Disjointed sentences. There’s also a few spelling errors, but those can be covered later, when the major stuff is in place.

We would recommend making sure at least most of the following is covered in it:
🔸Location of birth and early childhood - in particular, whether it deviates from normal for a Mandalorian.
🔸What it was like growing up at war, in a society directly supporting the Sith War efforts
🔸His combat training.
🔸Other training.
🔸Possible negative experiences in his life.
🔸Some about his struggle.
🔸His first kill.
🔸His first encounters with Jedi & Sith.
🔸All events from his major successes/failures.
🔸His relations with his clan and other clans.
🔸More details on his service with Mandalore the Vindicated. Especially the details like where it happened, when it happened, how well it went, why he was there, etc.
🔸Other missions he has been on.
🔸Current role and disposition.


This should provide you with some to work on for the sheet. While it needs a bit of work, it should not be all that hard to get a good character out of.