[@Birdboy] I think it's good so far. You're doing a good job at describing situations and progressing the story along. No true suggestions to be honest... I think the atmosphere and pacing are exactly what you want them to be for the type of story. Edit: I guess at this point it'd be a good idea to see if some of the people who haven't posted in awhile are still interested and, if they aren't, get more people to replace them to keep the story moving along?