The Irishman had heard every word, but had nothing to say. Despite Lucien's pleading, Faolan knew the only way to keep him safe would be to go off on his own again. This was why he had avoided companions in the first place. For so long he had been alone, wandering, with no home and no one to call family, no one to love him and no one to be loved, but this had been by choice. It hadn't been hard for him, once he had gotten used to being alone all the time. He liked it, in fact. He had no one to hold him accountable, no one to question or pester him, no one to watch his every move and no one to share his thoughts with. It figured that the first time he assented to sharing his life on the road this would happen. He could not, no, he would not allow Lucien to be hurt because of his recklessness. He could not have any more of the Frenchman's blood on his hands.

Faolan was forced to stop as Lucien made his way in front of him, not feeling strong enough to work his way around, and not being able to stomach the thought of touching him. The last time he had touched him, he had nearly torn the boy's leg off.

[color=a36209]"No, it won't!"[/color] He screamed, looking down into Lucien's face, furious. [color=a36209]"I could have [i]killed[/i] you, don't you understand that!? I can't do this, I can't let it happen again."[/color] His words were forceful and firm, as he stared into the Frenchman's golden eyes, he felt what little of the strength he had leave his body. He deflated, his shoulder's slumped and his bag slid off of his back and onto the ground with a quiet [i]thud[/i]. He let his chin fall and his eyes focused on the ground, his legs gave way and he slid to his knees before Lucien, completely and utterly drained.

Images of his family's faces, his ma, his pa, Fiona, his little sis...they rifled through his brain like a slideshow. For a moment, all he could see was them, living and happy, cleaning the kitchen or chopping wood or chasing chickens in the yard. Laughing, eating, holding hands...

[color=a36209]"I didn't want you to see me like that."[/color] He said, his voice low as he looked up at Lucien for the first time. 
[color=a36209]"That beast, it's not...it isn't me. Not really."[/color]