[color=007236]>VIENNA, VIRGINIA >AVALINE MOORE, RESIDENCE >2019.8.JULY >1740...///[/color] The sun was dipping low toward the horizon when Ava walked down her front steps, her eyes on the bright colorful garden of her neighbor and friend. She had parted ways with Laine almost an hour ago, the FBI psychologist having wished her well before driving off into the sunset. The next hour Ava had packed her drones back in the garage, started a load of much needed laundry and took twenty minutes to just sit on her couch. She watched an episode of Bob’s Burgers and just took a moment of quiet to catch her breath and soak in the comfort of being home again. Home and safe, where Blackriver was far away from her and so were the events of the shooting. She wished she could stay there a bit longer, just turn off her brain and enjoy one of her favorite shows. In fact she fully intended to call in to Headquarters and tell them she would be taking a few personal days, but not at this moment. Not tonight. It could wait until tomorrow. However, there was one more piece of reality she needed to face before she could settle in to her time off. She wrung her hands together as she walked up the pathway to Mrs. Grier’s front porch; her mind racing. What did she tell her? What would she ask? Would she be upset with her if she didn’t tell her? Those questions raced round and round her head, like a train caught on a set of circular tracks. She could feel sweat gathering on the back of her neck as she walked up one step and then two until she was at the front door. A warm breeze blew across the garden, carrying the scent of summer blooming flowers. It normally brought her comfort with its familiarity, but at that moment, the smell of the flowers was almost nauseating in their sweetness. Daisy was already barking on the other side, the pugs breathy, snorting yips giving away her presence before she even had a chance to knock. She shut her eyes, took in a deep breath and rang the doorbell. A few moments later a voice on the other side could be heard, "Daisy, get back, dear." "Who is it?" Mrs Grier asked through the door. "Oh, sorry...let me..." Her voice went in and out, the sound of latches unlocking and a chain before the door opened. Mrs Grier was dressed neatly in white slacks and loafers, the neat mint green blouse accented with her elegant gold jewelry. Her white hair was swept back in a neat French twist, held by an art nouveau style dragonfly comb. "Ava!" She smiled brightly, looking the younger woman over before stepping back, "Come in, please. I wish I had known you were coming home tonight or I would have held dinner. Come inside, have you eaten?" The elderly woman stepped aside, gently nudging Daisy out of the way, the fat pug wheezing and wagging her curly tail. Ava returned the older woman’s smile and tried not to show her how tired she felt. “I’m sorry, it slipped my mind to call you. I came by to come get,” As she was speaking there came the rapid padding of feet and then Thor was running out of a hallway toward her. “Hey Thor!” She greeted with a smile, bracing a hand against a nearby wall as the cat ran himself into her shins and started rubbing against her legs; purring like a motorcycle. She stooped down to start petting him. “Hi, did you miss me? You’re not mad at me for leaving?” She cooed to the cat, scratching his ears and then stroking his back. “Hmm, how many table scraps have you been eating?” She asked in a mock serious voice while looking up at her friend. Daisy yipped and waddled over to participate in the scritches, attempting to butt in but the plume of Thor's tail whipped in her squished face. Mrs Grier used her foot to gently push the pug away and allow the big cat his reunion. She held her hands up, her wedding set still in place on her left hand even after being widowed for years. "He might have persuaded me to part with a few bits of salmon and chicken. I hope you don't mind too much." “I don’t mind.” Ava assured her, standing up with a wince as it tugged on her sensitive side. “You’re supposed to be spoiled when you have a sleepover.” She looked back up at Mrs Grier and smiled a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. “I hope you don’t mind watching him again in two weeks? I’ll have to leave again for an...unknown amount of time.” Mrs Grier looked her over, her fine brows drawing together with concern, "Of course I don't mind, but an unknown amount of time? They're keeping you busy. Have you eaten, come inside I have plenty of leftovers. I made lasagna last night, spinach and ricotta. I always make too much, even when I have guests." She waved Ava along, gently herding her towards the dining room. “That’d be great, thank you.” Ava said honestly, relief evident in her voice as she followed her to the dining room. “I’m way too tired to cook and I’ve only had coffee and subpar waffles for food.” She carefully walked around Thor as the cat stuck close to her legs, meowing up at her and purring. “You had guests over?” She asked, genuinely curious and to get the topic off her work. “Did you have a dinner party?” Mrs Grier put the lasagna to heat up and returned with two glasses of ice tea, setting one in front of Ava. "Oh no party just a friend from the Gardening Club. Jeremy helped me by turning the soil over in the vegetable garden for the autumn crop. So I repaid his kindness with lasagna!" She chuckled, setting out lemon slices and "He ate a good portion and took a serving home and I still have more left." “Oh!” Ava’s eyes widened and she slapped her hands lightly on the table as she was sitting down. “I forgot! I bought you seeds!” She said, frowning over her shoulder at the door. “I’ll drop them by tomorrow, I got you your favorites.” She said, looking back to Mrs. Grier with a smile, picking up her ice tea and taking a drink. "How nice, thank you," Mrs Grier smiled then turned toward the kitchen when the microwave pinged. "When do you think you'll bring them by, before work or after?" She placed a plate of a large square of lasagna and fork before Ava and sat down to sip the sweet iced tea. "Or are they at least giving you a day off to recover from traveling?" “I’m thinking of taking a few days off.” Ava said, picking up her fork and cutting into the lasagna with the side of it. “They sprung this assignment on me, I’d like to take a few days to catch my breath and get...reorganized.” She looked down as she took her first bite, smiling at Thor as he brushed up against her legs. “Wow, I was wrong, you’re being clingy instead of distant.” She chuckled, reaching down to give his ears a few scratches, trying to ignore the ache it sent up her side to do so. She sat up straight with a wince, then tried to cover it with a smile. “So, did I miss anything exciting while I was gone? Daisy chase down anymore birds?” "Time off seems like something you could use," Mrs Grier agreed. She sipped her tea, her sharp eyes behind her bifocals watching Ava. "Did you hurt yourself in that time? You seem tender on that side, if you don't mind me asking." “Oh,” Ava frowned self consciously and touched her injury, a battle waging inside her mind about whether or not to tell Mrs. Grier she had been shot. On the one hand she didn’t want to lie, but on the other hand, she didn’t know how to handle the follow up questions either. Realizing that the silence was stretching on for too long, she bit her lip and decided to just rip off the metaphorical bandaid. She took in a deep breath and looked her friend in the eyes. “If I tell you, you can’t freak out okay?” Mrs Grier clasped her slim fingers and peered across at Ava, smiling gently, "You'd be surprised, I don't freak out easily. What happened?" Ava paused for a moment longer than said, slowly, “I...was shot.” She held up her hands. “I’m okay though! I didn’t even need surgery!” The elderly woman raised her fine arched brows in shock, "Shot? Where on Earth are they sending you that would would get shot? You're an analyst for heaven's sake." She caught herself and sighed, "My apologies, I know you probably can't tell me, I understand. But goodness, that's quite the experience. How are you doing now, after that?" Ava bit her lip again. “What I can tell you is, I’m assisting an ongoing investigation as a cyber crime consultant.” She said, inwardly happy with herself for coming up with that line. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie and it basically was what she was doing. At the question about how she was doing, she looked down, setting down the fork and wrapping her arms around herself. “And, I don’t know. It was...pretty scary at the time.” She said, blinking her eyes as she felt them start to sting and her throat tighten up. "Oh my, of course it's frightening," Mrs Grier said, standing up to scoot over to Ava and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, lightly rubbing her back as she had her own children and grandchildren to comfort them when they were in distress, "You poor dear, how could anyone want to shoot you. Did they catch them?" Ava sniffed and leant against her. “Yeah.” Again it was technically the truth, she at least knew of one shooter that had been caught and was now dead. She imagined that there were quite a few more bodies surrounding that cabin now. But there were others that probably survived and were back in Blackriver looking for them, waiting for them. She felt herself start to shake and she turned her head to rest it against Mrs Grier’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She said, her voice breaking as she sucked in a deep breath. “I-I think it’s starting to hit me.” Mrs Grier silently rubbed her back in circles under the wild red curls, a soothing motion that used to put her babies to sleep. "Shh, you don't ever need to be sorry, Ava. You go on and let it out, there's no shame in crying especially over getting shot. It's a terrible violation by violence, no matter if you needed surgery or not. You have every right to be upset so you let it out. It's what strong women do, we let it out. We cry and we grieve and we keep moving forward." Ava heeded her advice and let the floodgates open. [hr] >2019.9.JULY >0846.../// The next morning saw Ava rise after a fitful night of sleep. Laine had been right about the trauma taking its time to hit her. Crying it out with Mrs. Grier had felt good, but it also felt like it had only been the beginning. Now it felt like she was dealing with the full force of not just the shooting but everything that had happened in Blackriver. Her anxiety medication helped, but only to a certain extent she was realizing. It helped with the shaking and the cold sweats and she wasn't completely panic stricken when she was in the front part of her house. However there was still that fear lingering at the back of her mind that the front walls and windows would explode with gunfire at any moment. The one good thing to come out of her shaken state was it hardened her resolve to take a few days to steady herself and work through her emotions. Even though work was her normal escape from her anxiety, and she certainly had a lot of it to do, she didn't know how productive she would be like she was. So she called Headquarters, reported in and informed them she needed a few days to recover from an injury received in the field. Once that was done, Ava tried to return to some sense of normalcy. Thor purred happily in her lap as she absently stroked his back, her elbow on the arm of the overly stuffed and comfortable sitting chair in her living room and her head resting against her fist. There was a cup of breakfast tea next to her, she was afraid coffee would make her more jittery, but it had long gone cold inside of the owl shaped mug. Her heavy blue eyes were fixed on the television, but she was only half tuned in to what was happening on the screen. Normally this helped her when she was feeling overwhelmed. Sitting in her favorite chair, a warm drink in hand and the comforting weight of another living creature on her lap. Now though, after sitting like she was for a couple hours, all she could think about was how quiet her home was behind her. She felt [i]off[/i]...strangely disembodied. This felt like it should have been comforting and normal, but she wasn't feeling it. Ava sighed and took off her glasses, tilting her head up and rubbing her eyes. Why couldn't she relax? She moved her hand from her eyes and looked at the window that faced the side of Mrs Grier’s house. She could go back and visit her friend, but she wanted to give Mrs Grier time to breathe after last night. It had been a lot of raw emotions. Maybe in a few more hours, she at least wanted to be a little better held together. She put her glasses back on and found herself looking at a picture on the wall. Among the framed paintings and prints were family photos. One such photo was her favorite; a picture of her when she was young and her maternal grandparents at the Boston zoo. She smiled at the picture, chuckling as she recalled the trip to the zoo having been her reward for acing her Freshman finals. Quite the trip idea for getting good college grades. She stared at the picture for a moment longer, warmth filling her chest and chasing away the strange disconnect she had been feeling. Without giving it much thought, she pulled out her phone and called her grandparents. The phone rang twice before it was answered with a loud clatter. A voice thick with Jersey irritation came across the line, shouting to somebody on the other end of the phone. [i]“Not even nine, already they’re calling! The telemarketers! No, I don’t know who it is, I just got to the phone!”[/i]There was a rustle and then Mick Cavallo’s voice returned. [i]“Who’s this?”[/i] Ava grinned, her nose wrinkling as she tried to keep from laughing at the familiar sound of her grandfather preparing to give someone a verbal ass chewing. “I’m sorry Gramps, I didn’t realize I was calling before you had your first cup of coffee.” She said in a light voice, sinking into her chair and picking up her mug. [i]“Ruby!”[/i] There was a rustle and some brief swearing as seated himself. [i]“How are you, girl? It’s been a while.”[/i] “Oh, you know, I’m hanging in there.” She answered cryptically with a frown as she stared down at her mug of cold tea. “Work is getting a little crazy though.” She waved Thor off her lap, making him jump down with a protesting rumble of a meow before she stood with her mug in hand. [i]“Keepin’ ya busy, huh?”[/i]Something clattered in the background and his voice grew muffled. [i]“I know, I’ll tell her, I heard you! Your gramma says hi, Ruby.”[/i] She smiled. “Tell her I said hi and I love her.” She said, walking across her wood floors to the kitchen with Thor meowing after her. “Thor says hi too.” She put her mug in the microwave and set it to reheat. “I really miss you both.” Now more than ever. She leaned back against the counter of the kitchen island. “How are you guys doing? Are you being nice to daddy?” [i]“And we miss you,”[/i] Mick said. [i]“Of course I’m bein’ nice to him. When he deserves it. We’re doing just fine out here. Your gramma won’t quit badgering me, but I guess that’s life. [b]Ow![/b].”[/i] Ava grinned, picturing her grandmother reaching over from wherever she was to swat at her grandfather. Slowly the smile faded as she took in a breath. “Gramps, can I...talk to you about something?” His voice grew a little more serious. [i]“You know you can. What’s wrong?”[/i] “I’m just,” She sniffed, feeling tears well up in her eyes as her voice wavered slightly. “I’m having a really hard time with my anxiety right now.” It was technically the truth, that was her main problem. They didn’t need to know the cause of it though. “I can’t get myself to relax, my normal comfort routine isn’t working and I don’t know what to do.” [i]“Have you been doing your breathing? Have you had any full-on panic attacks, or just anxiety for right now?”[/i] “Just anxiety.” She answered, glancing over her shoulder at the front door as she heard a car drive by, playing music loudly. “I didn’t think to do my breathing.” She admitted, wrapping an arm around herself as she watched her yard through the front windows of her breakfast nook; her eyes on the street. “I’ve had...other things on my mind.” [i]“Well give it a try.”[/i] Her grandfather chuckled. [i]“Gotta remember the basics, Ruby. You wanna talk about whatever it is that’s been bothering you?”[/i] Ava took in a deep breath and nearly jumped when the microwave beeped. “I wish I could,” She frowned as she opened the microwave and pulled out her mug of reheated tea. “But it’s work related so I can’t really go into detail.” She removed her phone from her ear and turned on the speaker while she sat on a stool with her mug in hand. “All I can say is I’m assisting an investigation as a cyber crime consultant and it’s...it’s rough. It’s not the kind of work I’m used to.” She frowned down at the black tea in her mug and gently blew on it, watching the graceful curls of steam scatter and vanish into the air. [i]“Sounds stressful,”[/i] Mick said. [i]“Not sleeping well, I take it?”[/i] “I’m...getting a few hours.” Ava answered before taking a slow sip of her tea. “The nightmares aren’t bad.” Not yet anyway. She slumped against the counter slightly and rubbed her hand over her freckled face. “Maybe I should just binge watch Batman again.” She muttered, looking over to her television that was still playing in the background. “That always helped before.” [i]“Or maybe you should focus on getting some sleep.”[/i] Mick chuckled, his rough voice as gentle with Ava as it ever was. [i]“Melatonin, that’s the ticket. It’s what the quacks at the VA gave me, and it works.”[/i] She smiled, folding her arms on the counter and resting her chin on them. “Are you saying Bruce Wayne punching people in the face isn’t soothing fodder to fall asleep too?” She asked with a soft chuckle, looking at her mug filled with caffeinated tea. “I think I still have that bedtime tea Mrs. Grier gave me, it has melatonin in it.” She sat herself up and picked up her mug, stepping a few feet away to dump it out in the sink. “I guess I can try, take a little nap and see if that helps after doing my breathing exercises.” [i]“See, now you’ve got a plan.”[/i] Her grandfather sighed. [i]“You know we love you, Ruby. Our little Bond agent. You need to take care of yourself.”[/i] The mug was set down with great care as Ava stared down at the screen of her phone, lit up with the picture of her swarthy grey haired grandfather holding a pitcher of beer and smiling. “I know, I’m trying.” She answered, picking up her phone. “I love you too, both of you. I’ll call you again soon, let you know how I’m doing.” [i]“Alright, go get some sleep.”[/i] His voice grew muffled for a moment. [i]“Your gramma says to go to bed.”[/i] “Oh well now I have to do it.” She smiled, wrinkling up her nose slightly. “Bye Gramps,” She raised her voice, “Bye Grammy! I love you!” [i]“We love you too,”[/i] Mick said, his wife calling out in the background. [i]“Goodbye, Ruby. Take care!”[/i] With that the screen proclaimed the call had ended, lingering on her grandfather’s picture before fading to black. Ava tucked her phone away, taking a moment to sit and reflect on the conversation, dimly listening to the TV in the background. She rubbed her thumb against the mug in her hand, the warmth from the microwave lingering within the pastel painted ceramic. Hearing her grandfather’s voice again had brought on a wave of comfort and security. She could feel it help relax a little of the tension that had been steadily winding itself tighter and tighter in her body. Seizing on the moment of calm she stood up and began to prepare herself that cup of melatonin tea. While the water was boiling she leant herself back against the counter, closed her eyes and began to breathe.