During her life Sayeeda had survived by making split second decisions. If an artillery strike had crashed into the room, if an extraction team had breached the door with explosives, if a sniper had opened fire, she would have known what to do. Neil’s words however, caught her completely flat footed. A number of details settled into place in her mind, the female guards, the respect paid to Gabriella, a dozen snatches of conversation at the feast. Cylonieka passed its nobility down through the female lines, but marriage to other nobles was prohibited, perhaps due to genetic concerns, or just because the political reality could not continue if the isolated island states began to knit together through matrimonial alliances. Instead they chose husbands for their skills and perhaps for their aesthetic value as well. Administrators, Admirals, and, apparently, mercenary pilot types.

Junebug sat back on her bed in confusion struggling to take it all in. She hadn’t had a chance, or more truthfully had been refusing to take the time, to sort out her feelings for Neil since their brief conversation on Hahn. Now she found herself confronted with the question point blank with an immediate response required. It took a moment to wipe the chagrin off her face and return to her normally controlled look.

“Neil if you say no it might jeopardize our agreement with…” she began but he rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in frustration.

“For once in your life stop thinking about the mission or whatever it is in your head and tell me how you feel!” the last few words were bitten out like rounds snapping out of a machine gun. Junebug was silent for a long moment.

“Neil I…” she looked away unwilling to meet his eyes for a moment. Unfortunately the beautiful artwork hanging on the wall didn’t provide any answers.

“Look I think I’m wrong… you know in the head,” she explained tapping the side of her temple in emphasis.

“I don’t know if its some sort of combat fatigue or if I was always like this ,” she went on turning back to look up at the pilot.

“Neil, I do care about you and if I’m being honest, more than care, but I don’t think I have it in me to make anyone happy.” Her smile was bleak and her body shuddered as she made the admission, her dark eyes uncharacteristically vulnerable.

“You shouldn’t throw away the chance of a lifetime on a batshit burnout like me.”