Faolan's eyes went wide as he heard Lucien raise his voice, his face becoming a mask of anger. The Irishman's nostrils flared as Lucien continued to berate and scold him. He had never seen the Frenchman this upset before. Lucien had always been so mild mannered, kind, quiet, and calm...these were his best qualities and ones that had always been a stark contrast to the way that Faolan's attitude could seem harsh and standoffish. All of that was gone now and replaced by hurt and frustration that was mirrored by the Irishman.

Hearing that Lucien had been worried about him, couldn't get Faolan out of his thoughts...this was a mirror also. Faolan had spent the entirety of his absence agonizing over what he would say when and if he came back. It seemed like Lucien was quick to blame him, without even knowing the full story. Even his mention of Faolan's so-called "lowest moment" stung the small amount of Pride that the Irishman had. This was like him, to think he knew more than he did. If Faolan could only [i]tell[/i] him all of the reasons he had run away...maybe then Lucien would understand why he had left in the first place, why he had been so afraid to return. But...he just couldn't find the words. All of the pent up worry and fear had twisted into rage in these last moments, and aggression seemed to be his only outlet.

When Lucien moved toward him, he dropped his arms and instinctively stepped back and away. He didn't want Lucien to touch him, he was afraid of his reaction...if he would like it too much and all of his guards would be down again, like they were that night.

A deadly silence hung over them for a moment after Lucien said it, the word [i]kiss[/i]. It hung over the two men like a shroud and a whirlwind of memories flooded Faolan's mind. He remember as if it were yesterday how Lucien felt in his arms, how he tasted...it had been euphoria. Faolan had to cast it away, bury it, for the sake of his safety and of Lucien's.

[color=a36209]"What if I said yes?"[/color] he answered, his voice quiet but clipped, [color=a36209]"Is that what you want to hear? That it meant nothing to me, that I was drunk and confused, and so were you? Neither of us were capable of being rational. It was a mistake, Lucien."[/color]

Faolan had never been a good liar, but through his anger he knew that what he said sounded true, even if it wasn't. The words spilled from his mouth like acid, burning him from the inside out and leaving a gaping hole in his chest. Just like he had seen in his dreams...but it had to be done. He would say them a thousand times if he had to to keep Lucien safe, he would rip his own heart out over and over until there was nothing left of him to tear.