Faolan took a deep breath, trying as best he could to compose himself before speaking. He knew that Lucien deserved to hear the truth, to know what was going on inside of the Irishman. Faolan knew what he [i]had[/i] to say, he just didn't know the right words and the right order for them.

[color=a36209]"I'll try,"[/color] he said as he met Lucien's eyes. He swallowed, then began:

[color=a36209]"There are so many things that I want to apologize for. I'm sorry for leavin' ya like that, and for bein' gone so long without a word. I'm sorry that I came back like tha-...like this."[/color] He gestured to himself, looking down like he was ashamed, and he was. [color=a36209]"I'm sorry for snappin' on ya', and for gettin' all worked up over Marcel. I don't know what that was..."[/color] he said, almost laughing to himself. To anyone who didn't know the Irishman, it would have sounded like a quiet bark. 

[color=a36209]"Most of all, I'm sorry for lyin' to ya'. I'm many things, Lucien, but I'm not a liar. I know this might not be...right, or what you want to hear, but I need you to know, even if it hurts us both."[/color] He stepped forward again, making eye contact with Lucien as he gestured weakly with his hands, as if he were tossing the words into his mouth. [color=a36209]"It did mean something to me...what I--what [i]we[/i] did. I didn't know, back then, but it's been growin' since the day we met. I was drunk, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted--I [i]want[/i] you,"[/color] he said, stepping forward again.

[color=a36209]"I'm sorry for so many things..."[/color] he said again, dropping his gaze. [color=a36209]"But I'm not sorry that I kissed you. I lied--I said it was a mistake--because I'm scared for us, for you. It's no excuse, but...it's the truth."[/color]

He looked up once more, his eyes glossy but set, his jaw tight and resolute. There was a look of clarity on his face that was not there before; it was done, he'd decided. [color=a36209]"I'm not going to run anymore. Not from you...not ever again."[/color]