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Too bad it was considered poor manners to strangle someone, otherwise Eris was pretty sure he would have already done so. Unfortunately, he didn't know what ticked him off more, the audacity of the royal guard or the fact that his mage was [i]sucking face[/i] with Plant Boy instead of deterring people from getting close. The groan in his throat died prematurely, morphing into some odd kind of low chuckle-scoff as he buried his head in his hands. [i]Why?[/i] Why was he surrounded by idiots?! All they had to do was make sure no one looked their way, preferably without causing harm to one another but if something happened he wouldn't have been surprised, but apparently Alderman was either horny or lonely or [i]something[/i]. There were better people to makeout with, and Plant Boy wasn't even [i]close[/i] on Eris' acceptable list.

His head snapped up as the guard addressed him, and it took yet another bout of self control not to lash out at him. Alderman's response drew Eris' attention back to him, leveling a look on him and [i]Mr. Suave[/i] over there. Great Anastasia, how could anyone even think of kissing someone with such bad taste? Maybe Alderman was secretly suicidal and thought he could tie up those billowy sleeves to use as a noose. He was going to have to find a chastity belt for this kid. Or at least lay out some ground rules on acceptable times and places to suck face--a conversation he [i]never[/i] thought he was going to have with someone who glared at passerby for looking at him funny!

[color=ccff99]"If I wanted to break this charming display up, I would have brought a hose,"[/color] His tone was dry and low, almost a grumble. He would find out who this guard was and do everything in his power to [i]ruin[/i] him. 

It was far too late to regain composure, instead he gestured to the wall where the girl's blood was splattered. [color=ccff99]"Need you any more evidence, or would you like to see if you can find a pulse?"[/color]

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[sub][right]In despair over catching [@Scribe of Thoth] and [@Trainerblue192]'s love affair.[/right][/sub]